Willow's Story: The Shoot
by MagicalLeaves
Summary: The next in the series...Willow is no longer a young girl. She's in her teens now, and with teenage years comes things like Court, Nobles, and Boys. A possible love interest awaits in the wings...read for more!
1. Disclaimer

**Another disclaimer. YAY!**

As always, I don't own Tamora Pierce works, or any of the characters etc etc. I wish I did, but I don't D:  
I'm merely tweaking Tamora's characters and plot to fit my own creations.  
I don't own Alanna, or Jonathan, or anybody from the Song of the Lioness. However, I can and will claim ownership of Willow of Conté.

I remember reading an interview with Eoin Colfer (author of the Artemis Fowl novels in case you didn't know), where he said something along the lines of "I get all these ideas and images in my head and they get mixed up and regurgitated into something I hope is original." Well, it was something like that. Anyway, I'm also stealing that. Sorry Eoin! But that is what I'm doing: Taking Tamora's wonderful writing, adding a few of my own ingredients, mixing it up, and showing everyone what bubbles to the surface in a way that I hope and think is original.

Anyway, end of my long-winded spiel.

Have fun, enjoy my writing, and NEVER STOP READING! :D

Love,  
MagicalLeaves


	2. The Truth about Alan

**Hi my Faithful (haha, Faithful, get it? anyway...) Readers! I'm back! sorry it took so long, but hopefully you'll be rewarded with the first chapter of story 2! Thanks for your patience!**

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There was a sharp knock at the door. I rose to open it.

"Hello Gary," I said, greeting my cousin cheerfully. "I take it that you didn't play any pranks while you were away?"  
"Hi," he replied. "Of course not. That wouldn't be very nice."  
"You're not a nice person," I countered.  
Gary snorted. "I see you missed me then, Tree Girl," he said with a grin. He entered the room to hug me. I returned his embrace fiercely.  
"I can't believe you still remember that name," I muttered after we finally separated.  
"Knowing you, it's probably all I've got left now," answered Gary. "We've been so busy meeting the Bazhir and all that I've had no time to think up new comebacks."  
"Excellent," I replied, "that means I'll finally be better than you at something."  
Gary laughed.

"How's Jon and the others?" I asked.  
"Haven't you seen him yet?" said Gary, surprised. He looked even more so when I shook my head. "I'll go get him if you want."  
"No, it's ok," I replied. "It can wait." _Well, it couldn't, but then if he didn't come to me, I would go to him…_

~oOo~

I wandered through the halls of the palace, growing more irritated with every passing minute. Jon had avoided me all day, and I knew that he had returned from Persopolis when Gary had, which was just after lunch. It was now almost dinner time. I finally spotted a familiar figure outside the library.  
"Alan," I called. The boy glanced up.  
"I understand that you're to be my brother's new squire," I said politely, approaching him.  
"I'm not a squire yet, but yes," replied Alan, studying me curiously.  
"Well, I know that you two are very close friends, so if you know where my brother is, please go get him for me and bring him to my room, where I'll be waiting," I said.  
Alan looked me up and down. "Are you alright Your Highness?" he said carefully. "You sound...upset."  
"I thought I broke you of calling me that," I snapped, then took a deep breath. "Sorry. Yes, I'm upset, but it's because Jon's been avoiding me ever since you all returned from Persopolis, and I am going to know why."

~oOo~

Inhale, exhale. Inhale exhale. _Relax, breathe, and maybe you won't tear out Jon's throat when he finally sees you. Yeah right._  
"No," I said aloud. "I am Willow of Conté, Princess of Tortall, 2nd in line to the throne, and I will not lose my head. I am better than that." _I think._  
My attempts at calming myself were interrupted by a knock at the door. "Come in," I called, my voice coming out sharper than I would've liked. The door swung open, and both Jon and Alan entered. "Shut the door behind you," I ordered Jon. He did, then turned back to face me, a wary look on his face. He knew that I was angry at him for avoiding me. _Well, too bad for him. I had a right to be angry._

"So," I said, quieter now, and sounding all the more dangerous. "What reason have you got for avoiding me all day, ever since you returned from Persopolis? Hmm?"  
"Actually," Jon replied, still wary, "I was with Father the whole day."  
"Were you now?"  
"Yes," Jon said, "I was."  
"And you didn't think to say that you hadn't seen your sister yet? I'm sure Father would've understood."  
"Well…"Jon finally averted his gaze. "I wasn't exactly on my best behaviour in Persopolis."  
"Oh boo hoo. So the Prince was a little naughty. What did he do, sneak out at night with his friends?"  
"Actually…I did," Jon confessed.

I blinked, surprised. _Certainly Jon had better sense than that!_  
"While I was there, Ali Mukhtab-the Governor of Persopolis-told us of the Black City, which Persopolis was built next to in order for the Bazhir to keep watch over it. He said it was a cursed place, and all Bazhir that were called there never returned."  
"So you went there," I sighed. "In the middle of the night. And you went with your friends. Jonathan, you can't behave like this. You're the Crown Prince."  
"I know," snapped Jon. "And I didn't go with everyone, just Alan."  
"You went with Alan," I repeated. A memory rose unbidden in my mind: An image in a green crystal of Jon and Alan, fighting ten beings in a city of black stone.  
Realisation crystallised in my mind: _it was real. The image wasn't an image, but a vision. It was real_. I reeled inwardly from the implications of it.

"Willow?" Jon was studying me anxiously. "I'm really sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to avoid you. It's just that, I had a lot on my mind after we returned, and I had to deal with Father finding out about my… midnight activities."  
"I bet you had a lot on your mind," I muttered, thinking about what I'd seen in the crystal. "What exactly happened when you went to the Black City? And don't leave anything out because I will know."  
Jon told me about how he snuck out with Alan and fought the Ysandir in the Black City. "And then, Alan called on the Goddess to help us, and we beat Ylon and Ylanda." He shrugged. "Then we left and had a swim in the river nearby."  
"But you found something out, didn't you Jon?" I said softly, studying Alan with a piercing gaze. "Something about your soon-to-be squire." I faced Alan directly. "You're not a boy, are you Alan?"

Alan's gaze shot up.

I raised a hand. "Before you yell at Jon, know that he didn't tell me. I found out by accident." I tossed a book at Alan, who caught it out of reflex. "It's a book on the basics of scrying. George lent it to me. He said it was better to have the skills and not need them, than to need the skills and not have them. Anyway, I was trying it out with a crystal, when I saw you guys in a vision. You were fighting these, Ysandir, and you killed some. Then they used magic…and took your clothes away…" my voice trailed off into an increasingly awkward silence.

The boy-_girl,_ I corrected myself. _Alan's a girl_-swallowed. "My name is Alanna of Trebond, Your Highness," she said. "I have a twin brother called Thom. He was supposed to come here to be a knight, and I was supposed to go to a convent at the City of the Gods and become a lady. But I wanted to be a knight, and Thom wanted to learn sorcery."  
"So you switched places," I murmured, understanding. Alanna nodded.  
"Who else knows of this?" I asked her.  
"Nobody," she replied, "save Jon, and now you."

"Well Alanna," I said finally, "I will keep your secret, but for a price." Alanna studied me, startled at my unusual words. I winked at her, breaking the tension. "You must never again call me by my title."  
Alanna's face relaxed into a grin. "Only in public," she replied.  
"Only in public may you call me by my title," I amended.  
"I happily agree to that," grinned Alanna.  
"And I happily witness it," added Jon, his face also relaxed in a grin.

"So Jon," I said, turning back to my brother, "What were the Bazhir like?"

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**Yay, a sigh of relief for Willow and Alanna, whose friendship survived intact :)  
Well, there you have it. The first chapter of Willow: The Shoot  
I hope you enjoy this story. I'm eagerly anticipating writing the rest of it!  
And yes, as it's said in the general description, there is a love interest for Willow coming. I even know who it is! But you'll have to wait to find out! I know, I'm evil muahahaha  
**

**Love, as always, from MagicalLeaves**


	3. The Lake in Summer

**2nd chapter, away! It's one of the longer ones too! I told you that you'd be rewarded for your patience! :)  
In this chapter...Willow discovers more about a possible love interest than she's ever known before. Read on for more! Enjoy, fellow readers!**

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I sat in the Royal Library, glaring at the board. _What the hell do I do now?_ Finally, I moved the knight out of the way. This was one of the harder chess games I'd played in a while.

"That looks rather…well pathetic really."  
I glanced up. Alex had ghosted into the room. He nodded at the board. "For that matter, how can you even play against yourself? You know what moves you're making, wouldn't it always end in a draw?"  
"Actually, it's because I know what moves I'm making that I can think creatively," I replied. "Playing against others is easy. Playing against myself, now that's hard."  
"Tell me about it," replied Alex dryly. "Or rather, don't, and find more worthy opponents to play against. Like me, for instance."  
"I said playing others was easy," I responded. "I didn't mean that I won all the time, just that it was easier than playing myself. But ok, I'll play you. Where are the others?"  
Alex shrugged. "Don't know. Out and about probably. I know that Alan has a class of some sort, while the others are squires, so they're all off running their errands, I think." He helped me reset the board, then looked at me. "White or black, Your Highness?"  
I scowled. "I thought I told you not to call me that," I said. "My friends call me Willow, and you're my friend, so you must do also. And black this time."  
"Why black? Doesn't white have the advantage of first move?"  
"Well, you can't play one colour all the time," I replied. "And I'm not as good with black, so I need to improve." I grinned at him. "Don't tell Jon I said that. He's still looking for a way to beat me."  
Alex looked taken aback for some reason. "Yeah, uh sure," he said. "Okay."

~oOo~

"Well," I announced while we were packing up, "I'm impressed. I never knew you could play chess."  
Alex shrugged. "I've never had time to play with the others while we were pages, and Roger keeps me pretty busy even now."  
"That's right, Cousin Roger's your knight master." I said aloud, remembering. "What's he like?"  
"Uh, well, he's fair. Strict I guess. He makes me attend the training with the other squires. He's very thorough."  
"I don't believe Roger has ever completed page training, much less become a Knight of Tortall," I said slowly. "How can he be your knight master?"  
Alex shrugged. "I don't know, but he is. He's a rather good one, even if he hasn't been in training."  
"Yeah, well you have to say good things about him," I teased, "you're his squire."  
Alex coughed, averting his gaze as he put away the last of the pieces. He seemed…flustered.  
"Alex, is something wrong?" I said, worried. "You look…bothered."  
Alex looked up startled, then flashed me a smile. It was not a fake smile that I was so used to seeing on courtiers' faces, but a genuine smile, a smile from one good friend to another. "Yes, I'm fine," he said. "I haven't played chess for a long time that's all. The last time I played was at home, with my family. It just brings back memories."  
"What's your home like?" I asked, suddenly seized by curiosity.  
"Beautiful," replied Alex. "It's situated near Lake Tirragen, and it's just beautiful. In winter, the lake would be frozen over, and we would all go ice skating, my parents, sister and I. In the summer, when it's unbearably hot, the lake is that perfect shade of blue. It's amazing." He looked at me. "One of the first things I noticed about you-and Jon- was that your eyes are the same colour as the lake in summer. It made me feel better, like home wasn't as far away as I thought."  
I went pink. "Thanks Alex," I murmured.

Alex continued his story, too caught up in the memories to notice my reaction. "The home itself is huge. We have 5 bedrooms, but we only use 3-one for our parents, one for my sister, Amelys, and one for me. My favourite room is our living room. It has this huge fireplace of white stone, and every winter evening the fire would be going, and we would all be together, me playing chess with one of my family. If I wasn't playing Mother she would be doing embroidery. Sometimes she would teach Amelys a pattern. When Father wasn't playing that night he would read something, but sometimes he would watch and try to distract us." Alex shook his head. "He was the joker of the family. And if Amelys wasn't playing, she'd have one of her dolls." He smiled wistfully. I could see the memories alight in his eyes: a family of four, the two children playing chess in front of a roaring fire, while the father hovered around them trying to make then laugh, while the mother smiled at them over her sewing. My eyes pricked with tears, which I hastily checked. I couldn't remember the last time my family had an evening like that. But then again, we were the Royal Family.

"My family…" Alex sighed. "There's no describing them, but I'll try." He paused, thinking. "Mother was sweet, and kind and gentle. But if we got in trouble, she was like an iron fist. She had these grey eyes, and brown hair. Those eyes, I would always be terrified of them when they became steely. That's when I knew someone was in real trouble. Father was the nice one when it came to punishing us. He would always make sure Mother never went too far. He was always careful that we never got punished more than we needed. He was the joker of the family, the one always making faces at the table when I was younger, or distracting us during chess like I've said before. He insisted I get my shield. That was one of the only things he was serious about. He has blue eyes, and used to have dark brown hair, but Amelys says in her letters that it's now going silver as the years pass."

'What about your sister?" I said. I was truly interested. I had never had a conversation like this with Alex before, and I was startled to feel how comfortable I was with him.  
Alex met my eyes. In them I saw a love burn bright, a brother's love for his younger sister. I recognised it instantly. Jon used to look like that all the time when I was younger and hanging out with him. He still got that look in his face even today.  
"Amelys is pretty. She has that glow about her, one of an innocent child, you know? Except she's not a child anymore, of course. She has brown hair, but not like Mother's or Father's. Sometimes, if the sun hits it just right, strands of it turn into spun gold. And her eyes. Her eyes are the brightest blue, like the wildflowers that grow on the lake shore in spring. And she's always laughing. It reminds me of the earlier years, when we would all ice skate on the lake in winter. She would fall down, more times than I could remember, but always get up laughing, dust herself off, and go again." Alex smiled, the warmth reaching and lingering in his eyes. "I swear by Mithros and the Goddess, when she laughed, the birds sang. She always loved birds." He studied me thoughtfully. "I think she's your age, actually. Maybe a year younger. She'll break every boy's heart when she's introduced to court." He smiled again, the warmth lingering even longer in his eyes.

"You're lucky," I murmured, then looked surprised. "Did I say that out loud?"  
Alex laughed. "Yes, you did," he replied. "But do tell me why."  
"Those things you've done, the time spent with your family…I never got as much of that," I said softly. "Mother always tried to fit as much time in with us as possible, but Father is King, and he was always away…it just wasn't a family without him, you know?" I pressed on. "Sure, I had great times with Mother, and Jon, but without Father, it wasn't the same. I know he loves me, but we never had as much time together as a family. I guess that's the price of being a Royal," I joked softly. "That's why Jon and I were so close. Without Father, it didn't feel like a family. So it just ended up being Jon and I." I shook my head. "I'm never going to do that when I marry. I'll always make time for my family."

"What, you're getting married now?" joked Alex. "Picked a suitor from the court already? I must say you're a bit young."  
I punched him in the shoulder. He yelped. "That actually hurt," he said, looking surprised as he rubbed his upper arm.  
"You forget that I have an older brother, and older cousin, and consequently, I've grown rather good at this," I replied, my voice _very_ dry.  
Alex grinned cheekily at me. "I had forgotten. Please forgive me, Your Most Royal Highness," he said, bowing as deeply as he could from his seat without falling out.

""You do realise that's my title Alex."  
We both turned. Jon stood just off to the side, leaning on one of the bookcases. He looked amused.  
"It's my title too. And how long have you been there, dishonourable brother of mine?" I demanded, looking up at him.  
Jon grinned. "Well, I heard your remarks about marriage…so…long enough." He dodged the punch I threw at his arm. "And why am I dishonourable?"  
"Because you have been eavesdropping, dear brother, and on a private conversation between two close friends," I retorted. "Not that you'll care much anyway."  
"Well, since you are both my friends, no, I don't really care that much," teased Jon. He glanced at Alex. "Roger spotted me just now. Apparently you have a lesson with him."  
Alex's eyes widened. "Apparently I do," he said. "When did the noon bell ring?"  
"It hasn't," Jon replied, just as the bell rang. "Never mind," he added with a grin.  
"Well, then I must be off," replied Alex. "Thanks for the game, Willow, I'll be back to test your defences another day."  
"You'll be to busy rebuilding yours, after I'm through with you," I retorted, laughter dancing in my eyes. Alex just grinned in reply and ducked out of the room. I heard pounding footsteps as he took off at a run down the hall.

"So, what was that?" Jon took Alex's seat opposite me.  
"What was what?" I said, surprised.  
"Oh come on, Will. He likes you, even I can see that. Though this Amelys sounds like competition, so you better act fast!"  
"Amelys is his younger sister, you disgusting sap," I replied, rolling my eyes at him. "And we're not interested in eachother."

Jon just grinned. "You're so oblivious, sometimes, Tree Girl, sometimes you really are a tree, and boys are the wind that rattles through your branches, but can never blow you down." He shook his head. "There's nothing wrong with liking Alex. He's one of my friends, and I like him. He's from a good house too, so nobody will have anything against it. He'll be a Knight of Tortall soon, and will inherit Fief Tirragen on his father's death. It's perfectly okay to like him."  
"Nobody likes anybody!" I said, exasperated. "Alex and I are just friends!"

_I think._

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**Huh? Huh? I'm not as good at writing scenes like this, with possible love combinations and all, so please tell me how that went.**

**As you have figured out, yes, the love interest is Alexander of Tirragen. We'll see how well that turns out, him being squire to someone Willow still doesn't like very much...But that is for another story!**

**The description of Alex's family, as well as the home and Lake Tirragen is purely my imagination (though Alex and the place itself are Tamora's belongings!). Perhaps I'll introduce Amelys at a later date. Do you want me too? I can if you want, please tell me :)**

**Hope you enjoyed this!**

**~MagicalLeaves**_  
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	4. COMPETITION!

**Hi again guys! So, this I intended this chapter to be on Jon's Midwinter Ordeal, but I've run into a few snags. Firstly, is Midwinter a day, or a week? I'm not quite sure.  
Secondly, while writing this chapter, I realised that I have no idea what Jon's shield should look like...so I decided to have a competition :)**

**Please tell me, in as much detail as you want, a description of what you think the shield should look like. Whichever one I think is best will be placed in my story, as well as the person getting acknowledged, of course :) I'll give you all until next Monday to come up with as many ideas as possible! That's the whole weekend, so good luck!**

**In the meantime, I am considering putting this chapter on hold while I continue, and then adding it in later when it's completed. Or maybe you guys would rather I finished this chapter before adding new ones? Let me know asap.**

Should I use "Alanna", or stick to "Alan"? I'm not quite sure. I'm currently using Alan because it just seems to flow better for me, but YOU guys are the readers, so what do I know? Just give me opinions, thanks! :)

**Also, I have a big thank you to black-venom-heart for their review on Willow: The Seed! Thanks to all other reviewers who have reviewed my story, and I will take your comments on board :)**

**Love you guys. Keep reading and writing!**

**MagicalLeaves  
**


	5. Outings and Ordeals

**Hey guys!  
So, when I got no ideas, I puzzled for ages and ages until I came up with a shield of my own. Anywho, sorry for taking so long.  
Hope you like it!**

**And, last but not least, thanks to AlinaLK for the tip on Midwinter! :)**

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**T**here was a knock at the door. "Coming!" I called, putting my book aside and crossing the room to open it. "Oh, hello Alex."

"Oh?" replied Alex. "Is that how you greet me?" he grinned. I grinned back.

"Hello, Squire Alexander of Tirragen, my dear friend. Better?"

Alex laughed. "There's just no winning with you." He paused, his grin fading from his face. "Are you free for the hour?"

"Yes, why?" I asked, curious.

"Well, Duke Roger gave me some free time, so I was wondering if you would like to go out with me. To an eating place in the city."

"Like a date?" I said, surprised.

Alex went pink. "I, um, enjoyed our time last week, in the library. You were the first person I've ever felt so comfortable with. And I think I like you," he confessed.

I stared at him. He stared back, shifting nervously. "Too much? Sorry…I think I'll go now…" he muttered, now going pinker.

"No," I said, startling the both of us. "Just give me a minute. I…um…you surprised me, that's all." I studied him. "You really like me?" I asked. "This isn't a joke or anything? Because Gary has been trying to set me up for a while now, don't ask me why, I have no idea…" I realised I was babbling, and wisely decided to shut up.

"Yes," mumbled Alex, meeting my gaze, "I think I like you."

"Oh." I shuffled my feet, staring at the plush carpet. "Then…" I swallowed. "I would like to go with you to the city," I replied, my voice small.

~oOo~

"Well, that was quite fun," remarked Alex when we got back to my room. We had spent the hour at a small eatery in the city called The Hungry Dog. _Odd, I know, but then maybe the owner had a hungry dog when they started or something._ Nevertheless the food was delicious. Or maybe that was just because of the person I was eating it with.

I glanced at him. "You know," I remarked thoughtfully, "you're right. That was rather enjoyable." As well as it being an eating house, there was also entertainment in the corner. First a man and women singing an old duet that both Alex and I had recognised and sung along to (we weren't the only ones, believe me. At least we were in tune), then someone with a fiddle had started up a merry jig at which point Alex had finally convinced me, laughing, to dance with him. We spent the better part of the hour dancing and laughing, much like any other couple there out on the floor, before finally paying for the food and heading back to the palace.

"Well, this is it," said Alex, standing with me at my door. I glanced at him. "Thank you for that," I said softly. "I would like to do that again sometime."

Alex's face lit up. "Really?" he asked. I nodded. "Great," said Alex, a grin breaking out on his face. It looked like a ray of sunshine. _No,_ I corrected myself,_ it looked like the sun itself_. "I promise we'll do it again another time," said Alex. He squeezed my hand. "I'm glad you enjoyed it as much as I did."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it too," I replied.

I expected Alex to kiss me. Just because it seemed like the right moment, I think. But to my surprise, he merely lifted my hand to his lips. "I'll promise we'll have more time to explore Corus more fully, Willow. What do you say?"

I smiled "I'll hold you to that promise, Alex."

Alex let go of my hand, then bid me farewell and left me standing at the door to my room.

I entered the room, and waited until I had locked the door before spinning around, laughing like a giddy teenager. _Well, I was a teenager, so I was allowed to do that._ Finally I moved to my favourite chair, intending to sit in it and ponder the morning's events. It was then I realised I wasn't alone.

The figure in the chair moved. "Please don't sit down. As much as I enjoyed the times when you could sit on my lap, you're now far too old for that Will!"

Gods and Goddesses above!" I gasped, reeling backwards. "Jon!"

"Well who else did you think it was?" Jon demanded. It's not like anyone else can get in."

"Actually, I'm pretty sure George taught Alan as well as you to pick locks, so yes, I'm sure other people can get in. And now I've lost my train of thought."

"Where were you this morning? I wanted to hang out with you," Jon asked, quieter this time.

"I was out," I replied. "Why? You can hang out with all your friends. It's not like you're hopeless without me."

Jon stared at me. "Do you know what day it is?"

"Midwinter," I replied promptly, then stopped. "Oh," I said softly as it hit me. "Oh Jon." As I knew, Jon had recently turned 17, and as the custom for the prince and heir to the throne, would be taking the Ordeal during Midwinter-today. "Oh Gods." I sank onto another chair which was normally used for visitors. "Oh Jon, I'm so sorry. I completely forgot," I whispered, burying my head in my hands. I finally understood why Jon wanted to hang out with me, why he didn't want to see his friends. Goddess, I even understood why he would have gone to such lengths to pick the lock on my door. I saw the troubled look on his face, the fear of what he might have to face. I struggled up from the chair and made my way towards him, pulling him into a hug. "It'll be alright Jon," I whispered, not sure if I was trying to convince him or myself. I'll be there. We'll all be there, thinking of you."

Jon began to shake. "But what if I…I…die? What if something goes wrong? What if this is my last day to live?"

"Don't talk like that Jon," I scolded softly. "Nothing is going to happen."

"Squires have died in there before. Some have gone mad. Others have lost limbs, an eye…"

"Enough Jon," I said, cutting him off before he could get too far. "How many do you know personally that have died in the Chamber of Ordeals? None. I myself can name only a handful who were ever injured in there."

"Like Uncle Gareth," Jon pointed out.

"Gareth didn't lose much, Jon, and you won't lose anything." I said confidently. "You will go in there, and you will come out as whole as when you went in." I paused, struggling for something to lift his spirits. "The Chamber won't do anything to you, and you know why?" when Jon shook his head, I said "Because if it did, I would pull rank on it like never before, and nobody wants to see that." Jon managed a wan smile.

"That's the brother I know," I said, pleased.

Jon gave me an even tighter hug that left me gasping for breath. "Thanks, Will," he whispered into my shoulder. I hugged him back just as fierce even though I desperately needed air.

~oOo~

I stood in complete and utter silence, my gaze fixed on the iron door of the Chamber of the Ordeal. After Jon had left to begin his vigil before the Ordeal itself, I had remained in my room that night, keeping a sort of vigil of my own, before finally heading to bed. The next day I had silently met up with Gary, Alan, Raoul, and Alex, and we had all wordlessly headed into the Chapel of Ordeal. Mother and Father had joined us not long after. As I continued to stare, I felt Gary squeeze my shoulder. "He'll be alright," he murmured. "This is Jon, remember?" I turned to look at him, giving him a small smile. He squeezed my shoulder again. As I turned back, my eyes met Alex's. He smiled at me, and subtly touched my hand in comfort. I smiled back as bravely as I could.

I heard a clank. _Was the door opening?_

It was. Jon stumbled out, his face bone white. His eyes were red and there were tears still wet on his face. A murmur of relief and a few cheers rose up in the large crowd. Jon staggered and I moved forward instinctively to catch him. "Willow," he mumbled, looking up at me. He looked exhausted. "I did it."

"Yes," I whispered, my heart singing with joy and relief. "Yes, you did, Jon." I felt rather than saw someone come forward to wrap a cloth around Jon's shoulders. I looked up into my Father's face. He smiled at the both of us. "Get some rest," he said gently, "but be up before sundown, ok?"

Jon managed a nod, before our friends surrounded us and led us from the room.

~oOo~

A sword tapped Jonathan's shoulders, then his head. "I dub thee Sir Jonathan, Knight of the Realm of Tortall. Serve honourably and well. Do us proud."

As King Roald spoke, the people cheered. I moved forward as Jon looked up into his father's face. The fear and exhaustion from a few hours ago were gone, and was replaced by awe and wonder. He rose slowly as I approached. "As you sister, Willow of Conté, Princess of the Realm of Tortall, I claim the right to present you with your shield, Sir Jonathan." I smiled, my eyes filled with tears of pride, and removed the covering of the shield, letting Jon see it for the first time.

The shield was emblazoned with the golden eagle of Conté hovering over a silver sword, on a royal blue background, and ringed with a bright silver. I let Jon study it for a moment, his eyes proud and excited, then I walked over to him. "Well done, Johnny," I whispered as I leaned in to slide his new shield onto his proffered arm. The name made his grin, his eyes lighting up with laughter and mischief, then he turned, raising the shield to the crowd and the heavens.

At the crowd's exultant roar, I finally allowed my tears of joy and pride to escape.

* * *

**Yeah, so the blue background and silver sword because that's part of the Tortallan emblem and Jon is going to be King of Tortall one day. The eagle isn't really the Conté family emblem, that's my own idea.**

**Hope this was a good enough reward for your patience!**

Please review!


	6. The Result of a Social Blunder

**Sorry I took so long! My writing has slowed somewhat. This is because my memory has gone a bit fuzzy in some places with regards to the Song of the Lioness series, so I 've had to reread the series, which I will be going through today, and probably all weekend (not that I'm complaining). So, expect my work rate to slow down somewhat! Sorry about that!**

**Thanks to all the reviews so far. Sorry, no to ****, I don't know the family crest, which was why I was forced to make something up *cringe*. I will try to keep to the storyline as accurately as possible, but some things I will have to make up, so sorry in advance to everyone!**

**Thanks for the tip AlinaLK, after some looking up I believe Midwinter is about a week long, with the Winter Solstice in the middle of it, marking the shortest day of the year, if I am correct. If not, feel free to correct me guys!**

**Also, I'm trying my hand at the Lower City dialogue that George and his friends use. I'm not very good at it though, so forgive my mistakes!**

**Sorry for the long spiel! I'll leave you to the chapter now!**

**As always, ENJOY! :D**

**~MagicalLeaves  
**

* * *

"So Johnny, I hear ye've advanced in your life!"

I glanced at George as he spoke, studying first him then Jon to see his reaction. Jon, Alan, Raoul, Gary, and I were all seated at George's table in the Dancing Dove, having all been given a day off as they'd just become knights, while I had been allowed the same concession to spend time with Jon, and Alan was with us because he'd just become Jon's squire.

"Oh? Do tell us, laddie," remarked Marek Swiftknife, one of George's friends.  
Jon glanced at George and the others, and placed the set of dice he'd been casually tossing down on the table next to his tankard. "Yea, I've completed my training as my father's apprentice and become a journeyman now. He says he's gonna start sending me on errands soon."

Of course, one could take Jon's words at face value, which is what most of George's friends were doing. However, if you were one of Jon's friends, or if you were George, you knew that basically translated as "Yes, I've graduated from being my father's squire to being a Knight of Tortall and I shall be sent away on border patrol or something soon."

I felt my lips twitch at the double meaning, but stopped the smile by raising my glass of lemonade to my mouth. I always enjoyed coming here just to chat with everyone. I found it fun to be able to talk in…well, code (if you could call it that). Glancing around the table at my friends, I could tell that they, especially Gary, felt the same way. I wasn't surprised. _Gary always liked pulling the wool over people's eyes,_ I mused, thinking of his many pranks and subsequent punishments. _Not that we couldn't get him back, of course._

The others in at the table said their congratulations, those nearest to Jon clapping him on the back as he grinned.

"Well," announced George, as the cheering died down, "I say we raise our tankards-or glasses," he added, nodding at my glass. I refused alcohol, knowing it might affect my control over my Gift, and I was too young to drink it anyway. _Not that anyone knew that. They thought it was just because "Johnny" didn't want anyone taking advantage of his little sister, which amused the others-both George's and Jon's friends-greatly._  
"Let's raise our tankards and glasses to Johnny, for makin somethin' of hisself!" said George, standing and pushing back his chair. The others followed suit, even me, standing and raising our vessels and yelling "To Johnny!" laughing and banging cups so that ale slopped over the sides of the vessels and dripped on the table. Gary made sure that his dripped straight onto Jon's lap. Laughing, I watched as Jon dipped his fingers in his tankard, and deliberately flicked ale at Gary's face. An all-out war then ensued, with everyone wetting eachother, while I ducked out of the fray, laughing.

"So," George finally gasped after we had calmed down, "how have ye been, Miss Willa?"

"I've been great George," I replied with a smile (All of us were part of that inner circle that could call George by his first name, though sometimes we called him Majesty if the circumstances called for it). "Corus is as lively as ever."

"Lively enough for dancin', nay?" replied George with one of his charming grins. Jon choked on his ale as he started laughing into his tankard. I gave George a frantic look. _Not yet, not yet, Jon doesn't know!_ I pleaded with my eyes.

It was the wrong move. George, of course, thought that I didn't want to be embarrassed. "Come on! Tell us all how well ye danced yesterday! The Hungry Dog, was i' not?"

Jon choked again, but for a different reason this time. "You-what?" he sputtered, as Gary thumped him on the back. "No, stop that Gary, I'm fine!" he stared at me again. "What were you doing yesterday, when you were said you were 'out'?" he demanded.

I buried my crimson face in my hands. _Oh, Gods and Goddesses above._

"Ah," said George thoughtfully. "I think me mouth was too fas' for me brain." He looked first at me, then Jon. "I thought ye knew abou' ye sis's outin' yesterday, but I was wrong." He smiled wryly. "I haven't fouled up like tha' in a long time now, so I was obviously due. Though I wish i' hadn't been quite so…big. Forgive me, Mistress." He bowed to me from his chair.

Jon continued to stare at me, silently demanding an answer. I just avoided his gaze, still a faint pink. Jon finally gave up on getting an answer with a scowl. _Thanks ever so much George. Jon is going to kill Alex. And then me._

I continued to avoid eye contact (and contact in general) with my older brother for the rest of the day, always making sure that there was someone between him and I so he couldn't confront me as he so obviously intended. After our lunch at The Dancing Dove, we spent the rest of the day wandering around the market, buying eachother Midwinter gifts. I slipped away for a few minutes, having spotted some herbs that I'd need for the gift I had in mind for Duke Baird. I intended to make him a healing slave for bruises and aches, and while he probably wouldn't be needing it very often (as he was a powerful healer), I had mastered the recipe only last week and knew that he'd appreciate a product that was borne of his teachings and patient work with me.

I turned, laden with my new purchases, and found myself face-to-face with my brother.

I gulped. I knew I had been avoiding him all afternoon. What's worse was that he knew it too, and the reason behind my behaviour. It had been the only thorn in the side of our quite cheerful group today. "Johnny," I muttered, trying not to slip up and call him by his real name.

Jon grabbed my arm. "You're not getting away from me this time, not until you tell me exactly what was going on yesterday." He tightened his grip when I tried to pull away, until finally I hissed in pain. "Johnny, I promise I will tell you, but not now or here! At home!"

"You swear?" asked Jon, glaring at me.

"Yes," I gasped, "By Mithros and Goddess. Now please let go before you break my arm!"

"There you are!" Raoul strode up to us, followed by Gary and Alan, who were chatting amiably. "You guys just vanished into thin air!" he stopped, carefully taking in the scene before him. "Is everything all right?"

Quickly Jon released my arm. "Everything's fine," he replied calmly. "We were just having a chat about her herbs. It looked like she was trying to plant a garden, that's all."

I gave a laugh, though I was certain that everyone knew it sounded _very_ forced. "And I told you, Johnny, you can't just put these in the ground and hope they'll grow! They have no roots or anything! They'll just dry up in the sun and taste like dirt when they're pulled up again."

Our city-wide expedition completed for the day, we headed back to the palace. Jon stuck like a burr to my side even after all the others said their farewells and headed off in different directions, probably to get ready for the annual Midwinter Ball, which, as always, was celebrated on the winter solstice, which was tomorrow.

Once we were alone, I headed to my room. Jon followed. "Must you keep doing that?" I demanded, now irritated. "At least walk next to me, not behind like some puppy dog after its master."

"I will walk wherever I feel like it," snapped Jon in an equally hissy tone.

When we reached my door, I heaved a huge inward sigh of relief. I had hated every minute of our tense walk, and I could tell that Jon had been getting angrier with each passing step. Juggling my packages, I fumbled around for my key.  
"Gods above," Jon sighed, irritated, and took some of my things. Despite his anger, he held the objects carefully. _So he won't damage his Midwinter gift I bet,_ I thought bitterly. _Maybe I should just throw it into the trash. Or better yet, burn it._ My arm still ached from where he had been gripping it.

Finally managing to unlock the door, I wrenched it open-and stopped. Somebody was sitting in the chair.

"How did you get in? You scared the living daylights out of me," I gasped, recognising the slim dark figure. Jon, sensing the change in voice, moved to my side, his anger forgotten as he glared at the intruder. "What are you doing in my sister's room-Alex?"

Alex-for it was indeed him-rose off the chair. "Your Highnesses," he said, bowing to us. "I wanted to speak with Willow, but she wasn't here," he said to Jon.

"That doesn't explain how you got in," replied Jon, still wary.

Alex shrugged fluidly. _He reminded me of a cat more and more every day,_ I mused. "I have certain…skills," he replied.

"You can pick locks," I accused him.

Alex winked at me. "I have been locked out of my room before. Needless to say, I have learned to adapt to that situation."

"You've been locked out of your room?" I said, staring at him.

"More than once," replied Alex, again shrugging in a graceful, cat-like manner. "You can ask Gary how many times he's nicked my key during lessons. But don't tell him I know how to pick locks. He doesn't know I'm immune to this joke yet." He winked again, and I looked away, trying not to blush

Jon looked from me, to him, then back again, realisation blooming on his face. "You…and Alex?" he said, amazed.

At that I went a bright crimson, pulling Jon into the room and shutting the door behind him. "Never say that outside again," I whispered fiercely. "You know what gossip is like in the palace-if there wasn't any, the walls would fall in."

Jon was shaking his head in wonderment. "You and Alex," he repeated, and began to chuckle.

"Ahem, Alex is still in the room," Alex announced dryly.

"You and Alex," Jon repeated yet again, "at The Hungry Dog. Dancing." His chuckles turned to laughs.

"Jon, please shut up!" I cried, now bright red. Alex looked from Jon, to me, then back again, a _very_ amused expression on his face.

I buried my face in my hands. "It was his fault," I mumbled finally. "He wanted me to."

"But you agreed," Alex returned, his eyes dancing with laughter. "And you said you had fun, so there."

Jon finally calmed down. He set the packages out of the way, then wiped his eyes. "I'm sorry," he said, chuckles still escaping. "But you should've heard her in the library last week. 'Alex and I are just friends!'," he squealed, mimicking me.

Finally I did the last thing that I knew, absolutely, positively _knew_, would get him to stop.

I ran into my bedroom, slamming the door behind me.

~oOo~

"Will? Will? Oh come on, you can't _still_ be mad at me. I said I was sorry."

I huddled on the bed, trying to get over it all. "Go away Jon! I hate you! Goddess, you can be such a prig sometimes!"

There was silence for a few minutes, then I heard Alex say very dryly, "Nope, I think she's still mad at you."

I heard Jon heave a sigh.

"Let me try," said Alex. I heard rummaging, then a scratching noise at the door. Instantly realising what was happening, I leapt up, wrenching the door open. Alex was standing on the other side, holding a pair of lockpicks. He made a face. "Damn, you could've broken these. Or gotten them jammed in the lock."

I scowled at the pair of them. "Go away."

"Not until you've heard my request," replied Alex smoothly. "Then I'll go away. I can't vouch for Jon, though."

"What request?" I demanded suspiciously, glaring at him.

"Your Highness, I would like to request the honour of escorting you to the Midwinter Ball."

I stared at him, my angry mask slipping off my face. "Eh?" W_ell done Willow! You manage to sound like an idiot in front of not only your brother, but the guy you like. Genius. Just genius._

"You heard me," said Alex, ignoring my exceptional wordplay. "You. Me. Ball. Tomorrow."

His gaze bored into mine, and I felt like his hazel eyes were seeing straight into my soul.

"I…I…" I stammered, trying to get the words out of my mouth. It was Jon, studying me with his amused face that finally got through to me. "Dammit Jon! Go away! Yes!"

"What?" said Alex, confused, and equally as eloquent as my previous speech.

"Yes," I repeated, managing to lift my crimson face to meet Alex's gaze. "Yes, I would like to go to the ball with you. Jon, GO AWAY!" I yelled, finally losing my patience with my _very_ interested, very amused, 17 year old brother. Jon turned away quickly, moving away far enough until he was out of earshot. He even turned his back to us to give us _some_ semblance of privacy.

A grin split Alex's face and he moved forward swiftly, throwing his arms around me in a very tight hug. "Gods, thank you! You have no idea how happy you just made me!"

"I think I do," I replied dryly, gently untangling myself from his embrace. Alex seemed to remember who he was talking to, for he blushed and took a step back. "I apologise. I quite forgot myself, Your Highness."

I scowled again. "I am Willow. Willow! Just Willow, nothing more or less. You better remember that if you wish to escort me to the Ball, Sir Alex." (Alex had become a knight a few days after Jon had).

"Very well then, Just Willow, nothing more or less," replied Alex gravely, having finally gotten himself under control. "I look forward to escorting you to the Midwinter Ball tomorrow." He bowed to me, his words serious, but his manner and expression spoke otherwise.

"I look forward to seeing you tomorrow too, Sir Alexander," I replied with a smile and a curtsy, playing along with Alex. He smiled, then, capturing my hand, he lifted it upwards, brushing the back of it with his lips. "Princess Willow, I will take my leave. See you tomorrow."

Then he was gone before I could think up a suitable retort, leaving me flustered from the gentle touch of both his lips and hand.

"Can I come back now?"

Jon's words cut through my dreamy state. His voice was tentative. I glanced up, startled. Jon was watching me, unsure. _I was probably the only person that he could be nervous around, and show it,_ I realised.

"Yes Jon, you can come back now," I sighed. "But shut the door first." Jon obeyed, then crossed the room carefully like someone approaching a frightened animal.

"I'm not mad," he finally said, his voice and gaze wary.

"Really? That's not what it looked like," I replied.

"It's just..." Jon sighed, staring at me for a long moment. "You're my younger sister. You're Willow the Tree Girl, you're Will..." He paused, struggling for words. "You have always been my younger sister. You were the girl who didn't want her brother to leave her to attend page training. You were the girl who cried when Father didn't come to her 5th birthday party. When I heard George's words today, I realised that that girl that I had known so long, the girl I had seen for so long...was gone. She'd grown up...and I missed all of it." He swallowed, and I realised that his eyes were bright with unshed tears. "I looked at you today, in The Dancing Dove, and I saw a woman. When I realised that you were with Alex, I realised that the girl I had known and had seen didn't exist. She had become someone else. It...scared me." he whispered.

I was thunderstruck. _How could he think that and why hadn't he said anything before?_

"Oh Jon," I whispered, finally breaking the silence that had stretched between us. "Do you have any idea how I felt when you took your Ordeal?" I swallowed, knowing that my eyes were also overfull. I didn't let a tear escape though. "I realised that you were a man. No longer could you be the boy who played with me in the gardens. Gone was the boy who would accompany me when we went riding. I was scared that you would die, or come out damaged, and that I would never see you again, and you would never be a man. But you are. You are a Knight of the Realm of Tortall. You are the firstborn son of King Roald. You are the Crown Prince of Tortall. You are going to be King one day. You are going to get married and have a beautiful family." I finally let my tears spill down my cheeks. "The days of the past, where we could play chess and go riding when we wanted, are gone. And it hit me while I was waiting for you to come out of the Chamber of Ordeals, all of this, all at once."

I could tell, just by looking at my older brother, that he felt exactly the same way. Maybe he had even realised it during his Ordeal, even while I was waiting outside, having my own epiphany.

Jon crossed the room in swift strides, folding me into his arms. He was weeping unashamedly.

"You are my sister. You are Willow, Princess of Tortall, daughter of King Roald and Queen Lianne of Conté. No matter who you become, or who you choose, you will always be my younger sister. I will always love you," Jon whispered, his tears wetting the shoulder of my gown. "You'll be all I'll have one day."

I hugged him back just as fiercely, while tears streamed freely down my face.

"Jon," I whispered, "I will stand with you until the end of time."

* * *

**Well, what do you think? Sorry that took so long!**

**As I've said before, I'll be starting to slow down because I'm a bit fuzzy in a few places so I'll be reading up on the Song of the Lioness during the weekend, so sorry about that!**

**Well, Willow and Jon have made up, and their relationship is stronger than ever. I love siblings. You want to kill them, but you don't want them to die. They're great to play with in stories, and it makes you think about you're own family too.**

**Ok! Enough with the philosophy! Onwards! :D**

**Please review! Thanks for sticking with Willow!**

**~MagicalLeaves**


	7. Kittens and Kisses

**Hey guys!**

**Sorry for taking so long! I had a bit of writer's block, then I lost interest...I kept trying to write everyday before I decided to try take a few days break. I swear, it works, for this is one of the longest (if not the longest) chapters I have written so far! You will be well rewarded for your patience! :)**

**I hope you like what there is to read!**

**Love MagicalLeaves**

**P.S. Some of the dialogue, including that of which is spoken about Faithful, comes directly from In the Hand of the Goddess, book 2 of The Song of the Lioness quartet. I wanted to remain as faithful (haha) to the book as possible. I have altered some of it somewhat, (as in replacing he said with something else) but the dialogue itself is the same. It's not mine, I wish it was, etc. However, the 'scene' between Alex and Willow I _can_ claim... "What scene?" I hear you say. Well, read, and find out! :)**

* * *

The sunlight reached fingers of gold towards a window, creeping through the glass until it brushed against the pale blue of the young woman's dress, blue as the sky from whence the light came. The lady in question was sitting neatly, skirt spread as was expected of a person of her rank, and her gaze was focused on the pages of a book. At last she shifted the book to a side table before lifting a pale globe of emerald onto her lap. She gazed into the crystal, her face becoming dreamy, and went into a trance.

Something moved in the globe. The young woman's face remained dreamy, though the sunlight was witness to the spark of determination that gleamed momentarily in her eyes, the only sign of emotion since she had begun her silent work. The image brightened, and was on the verge of steadying, when that fragile silk of silence was rudely torn apart by a polite knock on the door. Though it wasn't overly loud, or rough, the picture was torn apart, and for a moment was as multicoloured as a Chaos vent, before it was all sucked back into oblivion.

I sighed, looking away from the ball of pale emerald to the book that George had lent me all those days ago: _Seeing and Scrying,_ _by Cassandra Trelawney_. In the end, George had let me keep it. It had turned out to be a gift for my birthday, which had passed only a few days ago in early May. George knew I would've never accepted the book had he given it to me then, so he had appealed to the academic in me instead. _Tricksy little thief,_ I mused. _Well, he is a thief._ Not that I wasn't grateful, of course. George knew that I didn't like my cousin Roger, but he also knew that I should train my Gift in as many disciplines as I was able to. This was his solution…or maybe, a better word was compromise. I was still unsure whether it was even allowed for me to study such arts. I was, after all, a Princess of Tortall. "Well, you can't hand it back now, lass," announced George, when I argued as much. "It's your gift. I won't have it back. So take it, and have done with it, Mistress Willa!" I had given in, particularly since Jon had threatened to take it if I didn't want it.

Another knock, still polite, but louder, broke through my thoughts. _How long had I been standing here like an air-brain?_ (One of Alanna's words. That, and her blunt way of speaking, was some of the reasons that we had become close friends) "Coming," I called politely, as I gathered up the things. After stowing them in my room-_I would tell the others of my new 'exercises', but for now I kept them between Jon, Alanna, and George. The others thought I was just reading it_-I walked over to open the door to the hallway.

"Hello Jonathan."

"Hello," replied my older brother. He stood with Raoul and Gary. I gave Jon a quick hug, then stood back. "Please, come in."

"Actually," Jon replied, "we are not here to spend time with you, per se." When I tilted my head in inquiry, he explained, "Alan has returned from the errand that Sir Myles sent him on. We are going to welcome him back, if you would like to accompany us."

I smiled. "I would like that, Jon."

"So, did you enjoy the gifts you received last Friday?" Jon inquired. "I know you liked the one George got for you." He smiled as Gary and Raoul chuckled. I was very much a noble, and as such had a noble's pride. If it hadn't been my birthday, I would have refused the gifts. Along with the book on scrying, I had received an embroidery kit from Mother, another book on etiquette from Father (though he hid it quite well, he was getting somewhat edgy about the way Tortall's eastern neighbour, Tusaine, was behaving. Spies were reporting that Tusaine's King was interested in retaking the Drell River Valley, and he hoped that I could help keep the peace between Tortall and Tusaine. He was called "The Peacemaker", after all), a silver chain with a black opal pendant from Gary, and Raoul a silver ring adorned with a matching black opal. Alan had supplied the matching eardrops. It turned out that the boys had combined what they had to purchase the costly set, but they all assured my later that the look on my face was more than worth it. Jon, I had later discovered from my blindfolded walk to the stable, had bought brand new tack and a matching saddle for my horse, Star.

"Well?" prodded Jon again. I stared up at him. "What?" I asked stupidly, feeling a blush creeping up my face. _Twice in one day! I must be getting old._

"Did you enjoy our gifts to you," said Gary, speaking slowly and clear.

I paused, then wheeled around to face him, a _very_ sweet smile on my face. "Why yes, dear Cousin-" I punched him in the arm, making him yelp "-I did. They were very thoughtful, and I shall find a very suitable use for yours-around your neck. Very tightly."

Jon and Raoul laughed. "She's got you there," remarked Raoul, shaking his head. "Her wits have improved. Perhaps you should stop needling her. After all, she's training as a healer. She might take one of those needles you're forever poking her with and sew your lips shut."

We continued in this fashion, talking and laughing as we walked up to Jon's room. It was connected to another room, which Alan now shared due to his new status as Jon's squire, through a door. Jon walked over to knock on said door. "It's your overlord, Squire," he called. "Let me in!" _it's probably code or something. Jon would never speak to Alanna like that! They were friends, and he didn't speak to any of his friends that way! Or, he could be joking._ I sighed inwardly. _Jon's wit has gotten sharper over the past years. Maybe he's winding Alanna up._

The copper haired, violet eyed fourteen year old opened the door to let us in.

"We came to see if you wanted to go down to the Dancing Dove with us and visit George," Gary told Alanna. "How about it?"

I watched Alanna, somewhat concerned, and was relieved to see her face light up. She hadn't visited George in almost six weeks, when her father had died. _Not that she was very close to him, but still…_

"Great Mithros, a cat!" Raoul exclaimed as Alanna grabbed her boots. "What are you doing with one of _those_? It probably has fleas."

Jon offered his fingers for the kitten to sniff. "Can't you tell a sorcerer's familiar when you see one?" he joked. "And do familiars_ have_ fleas?" He carefully picked up the black ball of fur, and in doing so saw its face properly for the first time. "Goddess!"

I gathered around with Raoul and Gary, curious. "Goddess bless," I whispered when I saw its eyes, as purple as Alanna's own.

"What will you name him?" Raoul finally asked. "_Is_ it a him?" Alanna nodded once in a sharp movement.

" 'Pounce,' " Jon suggested.

" 'Blackie,' " Raoul said.

"How about 'Raoul'?" joked Gary. I would've elbowed him, but I was too busy thinking.

"If he was a she, we could've named her Violet. For the eyes." The boys hushed and turned to study first me, then the kitten, in silence.

The kitten reached towards Alanna, and she took her new pet, settling beneath her left ear. "I rather like 'Faithful,' " she admitted.

Jon unsheathed his dagger and touched the cat on both shoulders, then the head, as if he were knighting him. "I dub thee 'Faithful'. Serve honourably and well," he announced solemnly. The cat blinked up at Jon with those unnerving eyes. _Why is it that a human-Alanna-having purple eyes doesn't seem as strange as a cat having purple eyes?_ I wondered silently, studying said cat. _After all, both he and Alanna were natural beings. They weren't conjured here as if by magic. Were they?_ I shivered inwardly, unnerved, looking the black kitten over again.

Purple eyes caught mine. Slowly, the cat-_Faithful_, I corrected myself. _His name is Faithful_.-looked up. He stretched luxuriously, then leapt down to pad over to me. I knelt down to let him sniff my fingers. He mewed happily, looking up at me with those startling eyes. _The Lady hopes you are well, Willow of Conté._

I jumped. _Did Faithful just talk? No,_ I corrected myself. _Faithful is a cat. Cats don't talk. They mew._

Still, I couldn't get those words out of my head for the rest of the day.

~oOo~

The song rose, thin and sweet, the notes floating through the air to mingle with the sunlight streaming through the window. The rays reached golden fingers, straining to catch the notes that floated, delicate, untouched, right in front of them. So close, yet so far away, the notes swirled through the gold to float into out the open window and into the sky, to keep company with the gods and the heavens.

Desperate for more, the sunlight tumbled over itself through the window, touching sill, wall, rug, then finally, feet. It flowed from feet to dress, slipping up the light grey robe with ease, twining its fingers along the gold embroidery along the edges, until it reached a pair of slender arms, then fingers, which moved along a long thin tube. The sunlight lingered, before moving upward, sweeping up graceful shoulders to a fair-skinned neck, tinged a pale gold that could've only come from time spent in the sun, then to a face with that same gold tinged fairness, slim pink lips pursed around the tube, a straight cut nose, and eyes which were closed in contentment. As the girl swayed in time to her tune, her hair, long, straight, and a glorious blue-black, rustled behind her like a mischievous breeze through fresh spring grass.

The song ended on a long wavering note, and the girl stop swaying. She opened her eyes, smiling peacefully.

"That was very pretty."

I looked up startled. Alex leaned on the doorframe that was my passage between my room and one of the many halls of the palace.

"Alex," I exclaimed, "this is a pleasant surprise." As Alex smiled and moved into the room, a shadow swept across it. For a moment we both stiffened in fear, before I looked out the window and saw a grey cloud sweeping all the sunlight away. "And that is most definitely not," I added.

"Hmm, perhaps I should not have interrupted? Play, perhaps that will stop the rain," Alex suggested.

"I am not a weather witch, Alex," I said, smiling.

"No," agreed Alex, "but it was worth a try anyway, to hear you again." He grinned. "As a favour to me, Willow, will you play?"

_Cheater. How was I supposed to say no when he looked at me like that, with that happy look in his eyes, and that smile on his face like the sun? Well,_ I realised,_ the smile Alex had for me was as bright as the sun. if I played for him, he would smile like that. Technically the sun would come out._

Slowly I raised my flute to my lips. I didn't play the song that Alex had just heard-that would be too boring. Instead, I played one of the first ones that my former music teacher, Mistress Kyla, had taught me. It was a simple tune, learned purely for pleasure, suitable for my young age back then when education wasn't as important as fun. The song was bright and merry, and danced through the air on golden notes, sparkling between Alex and I. The melody whisked around through the room, ducking under tables and chairs, spinning giddily through space before coming to an abrupt halt. I lifted the flute from my lips, laughing and playfully curtsying as Alex laughed and applauded. "Where ever did you learn that tune?" he asked as I placed my flute in its case, which in turn went on the mantelpiece.

I smiled. "When I was younger, there wasn't as much emphasis placed on my academic life," I replied, moving into my bedchambers and returning with a hair band. "It was more about fun, and so my former music teacher Mistress Kyla taught it to me. She said it was an old tune that the people of her village play." I did a quick braid and tied off the end.

"No, take it down, let your hair run free, like the rest of you. Like that melody you just played," said Alex, gently removing the tie. He ran his fingers through my locks, returning them to their original freedom.

"This is how I wore my hair for my fifth birthday," I murmured drowsily as I leaned back against him.

"Hmm?" murmured Alex.

I smiled. "We had a picnic. It was beautiful, and fun." _Very fun,_ I added inwardly_, _remembering how Father's absence had triggered the events leading to my ears getting pierced._ The pain had been worth it, and the eardrops themselves had been worth the argument with Father that followed. After all, that time he was in the wrong. Though in the end he had admitted it, and apologised, so it had all worked out in the end._

"I did that for my fifth birthday too," remarked Alex, his voice soft. "We had a picnic on the shores of Lake Tirragen, then went swimming, just the four of us and a few guards for protection. The whole village was given a day off and everybody was celebrating."

I turned to him so I could see that special smile that he used only for me, the smile that I could hear very clearly in his voice. Instead I found myself looking up into his eyes. We stared at eachother for a long breathless moment. Then carefully Alex lowered his face to press his lips to mine.

It wasn't a kiss, more like the barest meeting of lips, tender and gentle. Alex's hands fingers were still twined through my hair. He carefully removed a hand to cup my cheek, tilting my face slightly as he deepened the kiss.

Finally he pulled away gently to stare into my face. I tilted my head upwards to get a better look at the expression in his eyes. They were a misty grey I had never seen before, like clouds that bring gentle rain to parched farms. Unlike his younger sister, Alex had not inherited his father's blue eyes, but rather his mother's grey ones. I saw my reflection in his gaze, my eyes wide with surprise, my lips slightly parted. The misty grey seemed to reaching right down into my soul. "What?" one of us whispered, I wasn't sure who. Alex let go of my hair, but left his hand cupping my cheek ever so lightly.

I heard a gentle pitter-patter on the windows. It broke through the spell. With a gasp, I leaped for the window, pulling it shut before the rain could come through and wet the carpet. The windows closed with a snicking sound, and the rain beat against the glass in vain.

I turned back to Alex. He was still standing in the same spot as before, just looking at me. Finally, he walked slowly over to me, offering me his hand. I looked up him with a questioning gaze. "Let's go find the others," he said quietly.

I nodded, and placed my hand in his, allowing him to lead me gently from my room.

* * *

**Well, how was that? Another reason I did take so long is because I was going over the finished product for agessssss... I was also trying a new way of writing, which I shall thank black-venom-heart for suggesting it to me. It makes the writing process much much longer, but I think that the finished product is nicer than compared to my previous work. Thanks again black-venom-heart! :)**

Ehehe anybody catch my reference to Harry Potter? xD 

**Well, I did my best :) Hope you liked it! Please read and review!**

**Love always, and thanks for sticking by Willow on her journey!**

**~MagicalLeaves**


	8. To Willow's Followers

Hey guys!

Sorry I've been away for so long, uni started last week and it was kinda hectic getting to lectures...and getting lost around campus ehehe  
Anyways!

I AM going to be continuing this story (YAY for you guys), but at a much slower pace (awwww)

So I'm gonna be updating with a new chapter soon, WATCH THIS SPACE!

Love MagicalLeaves

P.S. I know there has been confusion over the squires, so I'll be using these names:

Geoffrey of Meron will be Alex's squire (well, that hasn't changed)  
Douglass of Veldine will be Raoul's squire  
Sacherell of Wellam will be Gary's squire  
And, as all of you know, Alanna is Jon's squire :D

Whether or not that's right, I don't know, but this is what I'll be using.


	9. Midwinter Luck

**Hey guys!**

**Sorry it took so long! I've just started uni (yay me) so I'm still settling in and all. Anywho ( I love that word =D) this is the next chapter. Alex and Willow go on their first official date...well first official as in they're in the eyes of the court now.**

**Have fun! And thanks for your patience!**

**MagicalLeaves **

* * *

A quartet of young adults stood at the door. The torchlight slid over the first, revealing a young man with sapphire blue eyes and coal black hair., before moving to the next, another youth with fiery locks and violet eyes. Curious now, the light continued its path, exploring the next person, which was revealed to be another youth, this one with dark hair and silvery eyes. The last of the quartet was revealed to be a young woman, similar in appearance to the first youth with the same sapphire eyes and black hair, which was twisted into a simple plait. Silver and blue ribbons were twined through the braid, making it appear more complex than it actually was. She was beautifully dressed in silver on light blue gown, and diamond eardrops gleamed in her ears, while she sported a matching silver bracelet and necklace. As they waited to be announced, she shifted uneasily, playing with the light blue pendant on her necklace.

"Stop that, Willow. They'll love you."

I looked up, startled. Jon was watching me, his eyes gentle. He was dressed in blue and silver, the Tortallan colours, and sported a silver circle like me as heirs to the throne.

"Both of you," he added, nodding at Alex. My date was handsomely dressed in purple and black, his home fief's colours, and his grey eyes twinkled as he grinned at me, extending a hand. "Come on," he gently prodded me.

I shifted uneasily. _If I entered holding Alex's hand, the whole of the court inside the room would understand that something was between Alex and I…_

Alex sighed patiently, placing his hands on my shoulders, and looking straight into my eyes. "There is nothing wrong with this, Willow," he said patiently, having read my mind. "We are following court etiquette after all. This is the proper way of courtship. Nobody will have anything to say against it."

I sighed. Alex was right. But it wasn't the court I was worried about. I was more concerned about my parents. What would they think? Father had wanted to arrange a marriage for me, probably one to a Tyran prince or something similar. Would he approve? And what of Mother? I swallowed nervously. _You're being foolish,_ I chided myself. _Mother and Father married for love. The whole of Tortall can see it, even now. If they married for love, how could they protest my relationship with Alex?_

I took a deep breath, looking from Jon's to Alex's eyes. The pair watched me patiently. Finally, I nodded. "I'm ready."

The herald, having heard me, nodded to Jon. "Your Highness," he said, bowing and indicating Jon was next. Turning, he thumped his staff on the brass circle embedded into the floor. The noise rang out through the room. Usually, courtiers would enter without the noise, but as members of the Royal Family, we had to be treated this way. "His Royal Highness, Crown Prince Jonathan of Conté. Squire Alan of Trebond," announced the herald.

Jon smiled gently. "I'm proud of you, Will." Then he turned and walked through the door before I could dredge up a reply. Alan followed patiently, hiding his annoyance at court functions of which had made him a palace legend.

I stared after my brother, stunned. How does Jon always know what to say?

"Her Highness, Princess Willow of Conté. Sir Alexander of Tirragen, Knight of Tortall."

The herald's words jolted me out of my paralysis. I looked up at Alex in panic. Alex lifted a hand to his lips. "Come on, Will," he murmured with a smile. "Let's go surprise the Tortallan court." I relaxed somewhat, warmed by the knowledge that Alex smiled like that only for me, and did the only thing I could do. I smiled back, and said, "Yes, Sir Knight. Let's." I took his offered hand, and together we walked into the ballroom.

The first thing I noticed was the light. To celebrate the Midwinter Festival, the room was decorated in silver, white, and ice blue. Crystals crafted into snowflakes and ice hung from the ceiling, catching the light and throwing it back in multicoloured sparkles. I itched to get closer to inspect them, for I could tell that their delicate shape and light-catching ability was created and maintained with magic. Alex gently tugged my arm, bringing me back to myself. I looked at him, giving him a quick smile, before allowing him to escort me across the floor to my brother and parents. The two of us walked through the crowd, which parted before us like a glittering curtain towards the splendour that was my family.

I curtsied politely to my parents. Mother moved forward in a swish of dark blue silk to embrace me. I let go of Alex so Father could take my hand. He was more formal, kissing the back of my hand before leaning down to kiss my cheek. "Very nice," he murmured, referring to my entrance.

I warmed at his compliment. The relationship between Father and I had been rocky at times, but we had both changed. Father had become more accepting of my desires and beliefs, namely my firm desire to become a fully qualified healer so that I may help in the palace infirmary. He had come to accept my stubbornness and pride, which he now acknowledged as coming from his side of the family. In return, I had tried to please him by learning the ways of a lady, in and out of court. _We had come to a sort of balance, a truce,_ I realised. _Perhaps I'm more my father's daughter than I thought…_I smiled inwardly at the thought.

"Father," I said, stepping back and letting Alex move forward, "may I present to you Sir Alexander of Tirragen, Knight of Tortall."

"I did hear the herald, my dear," replied my father dryly.

I looked at him, startled. Father rarely jested when meeting new people. _I thought he would've been polite under these circumstances!_

My father smiled at my surprised look, then turned to my companion. "Sir Alexander, it's a pleasure to meet you. I've heard naught but good from my brother-in-law," he said, referring to Uncle Gareth being Alex's (and Alan's, for that matter) private tutor in fencing.

"I'm honoured to meet you, Your Majesty," replied Alex with a smile and a bow. "I would say the same of you, but I don't have a brother-in-law. I've had to rely on the words of your daughter and son."

"Then they should be good," replied my father with a smile.

I felt a hard knot under my chest relax as I realised that the two were smiling at eachother with true liking. _One down, one to go,_ I thought, turning to Mother. She smiled at me. "Well, I didn't think he would be pleased," she remarked. "I'd heard that he had a Gallan prince lined up for you."

I blinked at her, before realising she was also jesting. I stared at her, taken aback by their relaxed demeanours. She smiled back at me, her face warm. "Ah well," she sighed, pretending to be disappointed. "I'm sure said Gallan prince can find someone else."

I was dumb for several moments before finding something to say. "Mother, you and I know very well that that was a rumour of the court, nothing more. The only prince of Galla is 9 years old, hardly an age to be married."

"So you do follow court gossip," replied my mother, smiling broadly now. "I was wondering if you were locked up in the infirmary all day." But her eyes were amused as she said it.

I would've scowled at her, but I was in the full view of court. I had forgotten that my talent for wit had come from Mother.

Alex, his conversation with my father now done, moved to greet my mother. "Your Majesty," he said gravely, bowing deeply to the Queen of Tortall.

My mother smiled. "Sir Alexander, it's an honour," she replied, offering him a hand.

"Likewise," replied Alex, taking her hand and brushing his lips over it.

I wanted to dance in happiness. _My parents approve! My parents approve!_ I pushed down the urge hurriedly. It wouldn't look good if I burst into song and dance in front of the court!

Somebody tugged my arm. I looked up into Jon's face. "I told you Mother and Father would like him," he murmured, giving me a quick hug. I returned it briefly, before pulling away. Jon came with me to stand with our parents, Alan following like a silent scarlet shadow.

The noise of the herald's staff on the brass circle rang out through the room. We all turned, curious.

"Lady Delia of Eldorne," announced the herald.

I watched as the woman made her way into the room. She had chestnut hair and was dressed in a low-cut green gown of the finest silk. I heard whispering break out through the suddenly silent room as she moved through it towards us.

Alex tugged my arm. When I turned to him he asked, "Who does the herald get to use his staff for? Or does he just thump it when he feels like it?"

I snorted so softly that only he would've heard. "He uses it to announce important nobles, Lords and Ladies of high ranking families, so Alan's brother Thom would get the staff treatment." Alan's twin brother had become Lord of Trebond, a very old and high ranking family, on his father's death. "Also, Royals of other countries, visiting dignitaries, delegations and ambassadors, and nobles being presented to court for the first time, which is what the lady is," I finished, nodding at the woman gliding towards us.

Alex raised a brow. "Hardly a fitting colour for a lady at a court function," he murmured. Ladies at Court normally pale colours or white, while her gown was emerald green. I guessed that it was to emphasise the green of her eyes. _Well, Mithros knows that she _does_ did stand out,_ I thought wryly, _especially among the colours of the room._ Everyone was dressed to celebrate Midwinter in whites, silvers, and bright blue of ice.

Lady Delia of Eldorne moved to stand in front of us. She curtsied deeply, first to the King and Queen, then to Jonathan and I. Alex and Alan, standing with us (as Alan was Jon's squire, and Alex was my partner for the evening), were also included in the treatment. "Your Majesties, Your Highnesses, it's the greatest honour to be present at this court," she murmured in a light and throaty voice.

Father nodded politely in acknowledgement at her words. Mother smiled, leaning down to kiss the woman on both cheeks as etiquette dictated.

Jon kissed her hand. "My lady, the honour is all ours," he replied gravely. Recognising the look in his eyes, I barely managed to restrain an eye-roll. _Great Mother Goddess, he has a crush,_ I realised, disgusted. _I hope he doesn't embarrass himself._ I've had to endure his bad poetry and his dreamy words before, and if I hadn't been his sister he might've gotten _very_ angry at the low level of tolerance I'd given his 'flutterings', as I'd put it. _Not that he'd been happy with it anyway. But, as I had pointed out, Alex and I didn't act like that in his and our other friends' company, so he shouldn't either. Not that it would work this time,_ I mused, my eyes flicking over my other friends. _They look just as smitten._ I gave an inward sigh as I studied Gary and Raoul, then their squires Douglass and Sacherell. _Struck by the lady of Eldorne, all of them,_ I thought, even more disgusted, but remembering to hide it from my face. I felt a bit ill as Jon asked for a dance, bowing elaborately before the green-eyed vision.

"Are you jealous?" asked Alex softly. I glanced up, startled. He shrugged. "You're hurting me," he remarked, nodding at our hands. I realised then that I was gripping his hand so tightly that my knuckles were white. I made a face and let go.

"I'm not jealous," I replied softly. "I don't like her. There's something about her…I can't put my finger on it. But I don't like her, and I don't know why."

"Maybe because she's replaced you as the new girl in Jon's eyes?" Alex suggested.

I shook my head. "Jon has been with others before this Delia, and I didn't mind as much," I replied. "It's just…" I suddenly realised what it was. "She's a beauty, and she knows it. She's going to use everything she has to play with their hearts, and she'll turn them against eachother. I've seen her kind before, at court. She doesn't care about the destruction she leaves behind. She only wants their attention."

I hadn't realised that I'd been trembling until Alex's hand closed over mine. He squeezed it comfortingly. I turned with a sigh to look into his eyes. His gaze was the grey of a wolf, warm and protective. "Don't worry about it," he said gently. "Come on, let's dance."

~oOo~

"He is very polite," remarked a voice next to me.

I looked up, startled. Mother stood next to me, watching as Alex made his way through the crowd to get a two drinks for him and I. She looked from him to me thoughtfully. "Have you put thought into this, daughter?"

I glanced at her, confused. "I…don't understand what you mean, Mother," I finally replied.

"Do you intend this to last? Or is this merely a fling?"

"Mother!" I gasped, shocked at her words, especially in front of the court, where anybody could here her.

"I'm sorry. My concern outweighed my judgement. I only am concerned for you, Willow." As I studied her, unsure, she added, "I just don't want you to get too tangled up, that's all. Relationships are a tricky dance. I just wanted to make sure that you and Alexander were sure of where you both stood."

My confusion faded as I looked into my mother's face. Her brown eyes gazed down at me, full of a mother's love and warmth.

"Alex and I are working everything out," I replied. "This is not a mere fling, whatever you might believe."

"I never believed it for a moment," Mother assured me. "I just wanted to hear it from your own lips." She paused, hesitating. "Perhaps you should get yourself a charm, my dear."

It took a moment for it to click, then I looked up at her, gaping for a moment, before recovering quickly. "Mother! I'm not thinking about…I mean…" I struggled for words, before finally saying, "I know that some relationships are built purely on physical attraction. I assure you, Mother, that what is between Alex and I is nothing like that." I was proud that I had gotten my voice under control.

My mother sighed softly. "I know, my dear. But you should, just in case you do get carried away, then you can go ahead without worry." She smiled at me, her eyes holding a rare glint of wickedness. "Gods know your father and I did."

"Mother!" I whispered, mortified. I did _not_ want to know, or think about my parents getting carried away!

My mother laughed gaily. "I apologise. But you are so sensible now. Sometimes I wonder where my little girl is, the one that used to dance through the palace halls. I had to see if I could shock her out."

She studied me, her gaze becoming a little more sober, as I stared back, even more shocked at her new words. _I had no idea that Mother missed that part of me! I thought she wanted me to become mature_.

"I believe you when you say you and Alexander are serious. However, think before you act now. However either of you behave now will affect what the nobles of the court think you are doing-in and outside of the court. If you intend on continuing your relationship, then do so discreetly. I'm sure you can get pointers off your brother." As I stared at her, stunned by her sudden change to humour, she chuckled, her eyes giving me that rare sparkle. "Did you think I had no idea what was going on? I'm sure the new lady is not the first he has romanced, as sure as it will not be the last. He is very clever, but I am his mother. I know."

"Are you going to tell him?" I finally managed to say, my mind spinning.

"No," she replied. "One day he will hold too many responsibilities. Let him have his fun while he can." She looked at me again, her eyes earnest this time. "I need you to be there for him, my daughter. I need you, in times of stress, to remind him that there is light in the world. That there is fun left still. I can trust you to do that, can't I, darling?"

"Of course," I replied, wondering at her sudden jump from the topic of me to the topic of Jon. She smiled, relieved.

"Excuse me, You Majesty, Your Highness, but I return bearing the lady Willow's cooling beverage."

The two of us looked up, startled. Alex had returned, bearing two glasses in his hand. He offered one to me with a smile and a bow, his eyes wickedly glinting. He knew how much I hated being reminded of my royal title. He knew also, in the short time that he had met my parents that my mother enjoyed the fact that he teased me without worry for my royal status. You were only young once, she had said to me earlier.

I took the offered drink with a smile, and lifted it to my lips. It was cider, warm and spiced. _No wine for me. A drunk Gifted person was about as dangerous as one who hadn't learned control._ "My thanks, Sir Alexander," I replied, playing along with the polite court-speak that we enjoyed needling eachother with so much.

"I would've brought you a drink, Your Majesty, but I did not have the skill to carry more than two glasses," added Alex, bowing again.

"It's quite alright, Sir Alex," replied my mother with a smile. "No doubt my husband would get offended if he saw another, far younger man seeing to his lady's needs." Her eyes were alight with humour as she said it. _She really does like him,_ I realised, startled. _Not just out of politeness to me, but true liking._

~oOo~

Soft footsteps echoed down the hall. The torches, placed at intervals, gave off a warm, rosy light that crept over the pair who were making their way to bed: a lady, dressed in a silver and blue gown, and a youth in purple and black. The light climbed higher over the two, ablaze with curiosity. It was witness to the soft giggle that the maiden gave at something the youth said.

Alex paused in front of the door to my chambers. "Well, this is it," he said softly.

I smiled up at him. "Thank you, Alex," I said, my voice letting him know just how happy I was. "I thoroughly enjoyed myself."

"I did too," replied Alex. His hand floated up to my face. Cupping my cheek with the lightest of touches, he leaned in to press his lips to mine "Midwinter luck," he whispered against my mouth.

I relaxed into his embrace, leaning into his kiss. It started out more like the most tender, lightest brushing of lips, before Alex lifted his other hand to my face, tilting my head to deepen the kiss. I parted my lips more as his tongue slid between them to tangle gently in my own.

Alex pulled away, his face flushed. "If I'd known this was how you said goodnight, I would've escorted you to more balls," he murmured, his breathing slightly more rough.

I could only smile up at him. "Goodnight Alex," I whispered, for I was too breathless to speak any louder.

Alex leaned forward to capture my lips again. This time it was fierce and passionate, before he changed it to gentle and sweet. When he pulled back, he wasn't the only one breathing slightly harder than before. "Goodnight, my princess," he whispered, then turned and walked away down the hall.

* * *

**Aww...isn't that romantic?**

**By the way, I did steal one line from The Protector of the Small series...if you can find it, kudos to you! :D**

**However, something is coming that will threaten them...can they overcome it? DUN DUN DUN**

**I won't tell you, though, you'll have to wait! I'm so evil =D**

**Since I'm bored, I'll have a competition. (Readers: YAYYY)  
The rules are simple: I want a oneshot of this fanfic...pick a character, develop relationships-Alex/Willow hint hint, though it doesn't have to be! Also, if you're looking for a bigger challenge, try coming up with a fanfic of Alex's 'sister' that I invented, Amelys of Tirragen. These are just suggestions, by the way, do whatever you like!  
This is purely for fun. I just wanted to give you guys something to do whilst I'm writing. Whether or not you join is up to you. However, as motivation, the winner will get thir story displayed as a chapter in this! :D****  
Message me the links to your stories and I'll read them over the next few days. Also, deadline is Sunday 20th March, (I'm from New Zealand so you might want to add/subtract a day or something). I may extend said deadline depending on how many entries I get.**

**Have fun writing!**

**Love always and forever**

**~MagicalLeaves**

* * *

**14th March**

**No entries so far :( Come on guys!  
I forgot to say you can email me as well, (don't laugh...I made it when I was still a kid ok?) **

**Hopefully that will get you guys interested? I was looking forward to reading your entries! :(**

**~MagicalLeaves**

* * *

**21st March**

**Still no entries! D:  
Although that might've been because I forgot to put my email address, sorry guys it's on my profile since I've just figured out that it doesn't save my address to this document...huh, weird...I'm beggin you, please don't spam my email with crap. I will report you...and do whatever else it takes...you have been warned. I also have no time to listen to rants about how you hate my story because it's lame or w/e that's not constructive (or very considerate for that matter) at all.  
**

**Extending this competition until the end of March! Last entry on April Fools (1st April) New Zealand time, so as always, add/subtract days/hours depending on your timezones**

**~MagicalLeaves **


	10. How to Behave like a Barbarian

**Hey again! So, the chapter I was planning to write didn't actually get written...I realised I couldn't fit it all into one chapter...so this is what I ended up with. Some things don't turn out the way you want them too...but meh. It worked out in the end and I finally have something for you guys!**

**Most of the dialogue (and also the intro) does come from In The Hand of the Goddess (Book 2 of SoL), and the duel does too, as I've been trying to remain accurate...I'll try and continue with this asap!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_That hot July an embassy came to court from Tortall's eastern neighbour, Tusaine. Important matters were to be discussed. Spies had reported the King of Tusaine was considering retaking the Drell River Valley on the Tortallan border, and King Roald wanted to avoid war at all costs. Unlike his famous father, Roald was not known as "Empire-Builder", but as "The Peacemaker". He was proud of that title, and he wanted to keep it. Everyone knew that Mikal of Danne, the Tusaine Ambassador, had come to see if "The Peacemaker" had the stomach for war._

_Tension was in the air. In the meetings, Ambassador Mikal became arrogant, thinking Roald was weak rather than quiet. Friendly discussions between Alanna's friends and the Tusaine knights grew sharp as each group challenged the other to more and more difficult contests of craft and skill. Matters finally came to a head during what was supposed to be a quiet evening party._

"Would you like something to drink?" asked Alex. We had just finished a dance, and it was getting rather hot.

"Yes please," I replied, smiling up at him.

"Excuse me, Your Highness, but I believe we have not yet had the pleasure of meeting you."

I looked over. Ambassador Mikal had walked over, his wife, Lady Aenne, gliding just behind him to his side.

I smiled politely, though mentally I was grinding my teeth. I didn't like the Ambassador. He was the source of the majority of the barbed comments thrown Tortall's way, _though the Tusaine knights did a fair bit of barb throwing too,_ I reminded myself.

"No, I don't believe I've had the pleasure of meeting you either," I replied. I felt rather than saw Alex move to my side as if we'd practiced all our lives. It had a nice feel to it. "Ambassador Mikal, Lady Aenne, I'm Princess Willow of Tortall. This is Sir Alexander, a Knight of Tortall." I curtsied politely to both of them, not going an inch further than etiquette dictated, keeping my courtier's smile pasted on my face, then offered the Ambassador my hand.

"Your Highness, t'is the greatest pleasure," replied Lady Aenne softly.

"It is that," agreed her husband. He bowed, kissing the back of my hand politely, then turned to Alex. "A Knight of the Realm, are you? Doubtless you have a rather easy job, Sir Alex."

I felt Alex's hand tighten ever so slightly on mine, though his face was still blank and pleasant.

"We are not needed as much in these times of peace," he replied politely.

"Yes," I agreed smoothly. "We Tortallans prefer to converse in a more civilised matter. It is far more…refined, than swinging swords around like a barbarian." I kept my face pleasant and cheerful.

Ambassador Mikal looked taken aback. "Of course, by far you are the wiser nation when it comes to that," he stammered, then quickly excused himself, leaving with his wife.

Alex waited until they were out of sight and earshot before he let his face split into a grin. "That was very rude of you," he remarked, "but very funny. You should do that more often."

I grinned back. "I do it plenty Alex," I replied. "Next time Gary and I talk, I recommend you listen. So much talk with my dear cousin has made me rather proficient in the skill of witticism."

"Obviously," Alex commented, his voice _very_ dry.

"Fencing! You call that fencing?"

Alex and I turned. A Tusaine knight, Dain of Melor, was sneering as he added, "Prince Jonathan, Tusaine three-year-olds can fence better than your knights!"

"You are rude in the palace of your host," replied Gary evenly, his shoulders stiff. "I wish it were possible to teach you some manners."

Alex and I exchanged glances. _This was not good._ I could tell from the look on Alex's face that he felt the same way. Quickly he took my hand and we walked over to the group in hope to avert the argument.

Lord Mikal turned to King Roald. "I must apologise for Sir Dain." My father inclined his head in acceptance of the apology. Lord Mikal added with a sly smile, "I fear I must agree, however. We seem to have done better by the martial arts in Tusaine. Perhaps peace has dulled your fighting edge?"

For a moment I saw red. I couldn't speak-I was _that_ angry. _How dare he! _I hadn't realised that I had come to a halt until Alex squeezed my hand hard, his nails digging into my palm. I looked up, snapping out of my trance. He shook his head subtly, his eyes filled with warning. I realised that his hand was trembling with anger. Quickly I forced myself to smile at him. In return he let out his anger in a rush of air.  
Looking around, I realised I wasn't the only one who was struggling to control themselves. Alan signalled to Douglass, who hurried over to his knight master, who was gripping his sword hilt with white-knuckled hand, his black eyes snapping with fury. Even as I watched, Douglass shoved a wine glass into the big knight's hand, talking swiftly, and Raoul released his sword with a sigh, looking away.

"I differ with you Sir Dain," Jon said, amusement in his eyes and voice. "Even our pages and squires know how to handle a sword against a full knight. But since our honour and teachers are in question, perhaps we must show you what a Tortallan can do."

Sir Dain gripped his sword hilt. "Bring on you champion, Highness. I'm sure I can prove Tusaine superiority over any man of your court."

I recognised the look in Jon's eyes then. _It was the look when he was planning something devious,_ I realised. He glanced at Alanna, and I realised what he was about to do even as Alanna nodded at the question in my brother's gaze.

Jon turned back to Dain. "Not 'our champion', Sir Dain," he replied, his voice now icy cold, "I said, 'even our pages and squires'." He nodded to Alanna. The red head handed her wine pitcher to Sacherell, who almost dropped it, and walked over.

"Your Highness?" she asked, bowing politely.

Jon smiled at Dain. "I'm sure my personal squire Alan here would be willing to oblige you," he said politely.

Dain stared at the youth. "You want me to fence with a _squire_?" His voice cracked-someone giggled.

"Are you afraid?" Jon inquired, sensing that he had the Tusaine on the back foot.

Dain gasped for several moments before finding his voice. "I've fought in six duels!" he snapped. I've been killing mountain bandits when I was smaller than _him_! If I was ever smaller than him!"

"Did you need me for something, My Lord Prince?" Alanna asked. I could tell she was enjoying baiting this arrogant, drunk barbarian who dared call himself a knight.

My brother shrugged. "I thought you might fence with Sir Dain, Alan, but he no longer seems interested. I'm sorry to have called you away for nothing-"

"By Mithros, I'll do it! I fear no child!" Dain spat, the last word full of venom.

I snorted softly to myself. _Dain obviously didn't know that remarks about Alanna's height never angered her in the first place_, I thought, amused at his temper tantrum.

Jon turned to bow at Mother and Father. "If Your Majesties will excuse us, we would like to go to the first fencing gallery."

My father nodded. "I think this is something we will all want to see. Ambassador Mikal? Lady Aenne? My lady?"

My mother and Lady Aenne nodded as Mikal said, "It should be an interesting entertainment," _very_ dryly.

We all headed down to the largest indoor court available, Alex and I trailing slightly behind the others surrounding Alan. I felt rather than saw my other cousin Roger settle behind me as Myles made a beeline for Alan. "Are you going to throw away _everything_?" he shouted. "He's a head taller than you are!"

My red head friend shrugged. "Nearly everyone I fence with is." Timon, Uncle Gareth's personal manservant, returned, having gone to her chambers to fetch Lightning. Alanna accepted her sword and buckled it to her belt. Faithful yowled until she picked him up, settling him on her shoulder as usual. She cocked her head as if listening to her violet eyed companion.

_Oh come on, Faithful can't talk! He's a cat! _

As if he'd heard me, the cat turned his head. I found myself pinned by his gaze for a long moment, before Faithful meowed. _Am I, Lady Willow?_

I turned away, searching for Alex, mentally promising myself that I would deal with this later.

"Are you _listening_ to me?" Myles yelled, cutting through my reverie. "This is no time to play hero!"

Jon came to Alan's defence. "Don't be upset, Myles," he said, resting a hand on his squire's shoulder. "Haven't you seen Alan fence? I have-in the Black City."

Myles fell silent, but he wasn't done. "Dain is a practiced knight! It isn't the same!"

"Do you hear Father protesting?" Gary chimed in. "He's been teaching Alan and Alex privately for months now. Beside, you've got to trust Jonathan's judgement sometime. He doesn't try to get his friends killed."

I felt Roger move up beside me. I tensed mentally. Even after all this time, I _still_ hadn't warmed to my older cousin. In fact, my suspicion and distrust had grown even more.

To my surprise, however, Roger didn't address me, but instead spoke to Alex. "What do _you_ think will happen?" he asked his former squire.

Alex smiled mysteriously, taking my hand again. "I think Dain of Melor is in for a large surprise."

Roger shook his head in disbelief. "Surely you don't mean to say Alan is as good as-well, you, for example."

Alex shrugged, still smiling. "But I do," he replied. "Alan's as good as I am. Someday he may be better."

I sensed Roger open his mouth, but he had no time to speak. We had arrived at the fencing gallery.

It was lit up by torches in wall brackets. Alex and I walked over one side, following Alanna as she pulled off her shoes and accepted the fencing gloves that Timon offered her. I realised she was grinning recklessly, a merciless look in her violet eyes. Turning, I realised that Jon had seen Alanna's face as well. His own was thoughtful as he gazed at his short squire.

Uncle Gareth approached Alanna as she bean stretching her muscles. "Don't forget to let him tie himself out while you get his measure," I heard him say. "I know the type. He'll try to make you angry with insults. Don't let that happen-keep your head. You're good, Alan, but you aren't the best."

My red head friend grinned mischievously up at my uncle. "No, sir. You are."

Gareth slapped her lightly on the shoulder. "Don't be pert. And _do_ be careful."

"Don't worry, Uncle," Jon replied with a smile. "Alan keeps his head in a fight."

Alanna looked around at her friends, including Alex and I. "I'll be careful," she said to us, her gaze solemn.

That done, I walked with Alex to sit next to my mother and father. Because Jon was Alan's knightmaster, and the others were his friends, it wouldn't be frowned upon for them to stay where they were. I, on the other hand, as a lady was expected to, would have to sit on one of the three rows of benches lining one of the walls. I settled myself on the bench, my mother on one side, Alex on the other, just in front of Roger, who was with Ambassador Mikal and his lady.

I arrived just in time to hear Ambassador Mikal say to Roger, "The squire is brave, but this is folly. Dain is good, very good. I fear this evening will have a sorrowful ending."  
I glanced nervously at Alex, worried now for Alan's safety. Alex lifted my hand, kissing my fingertips. "Relax," he murmured, keeping his voice low (unlike Mikal, who hadn't bothered). "I meant what I said about Alan. He's very good. I think he can do it-I've seen him often enough in our private lessons with you uncle to know."  
I felt a tight knot in my chest come undone at his quiet, sure words.

Alanna and Dain steeped to the centre of the court, their unsheathed swords pointing downwards to the floor. Alanna fiddled nervously with a pendant of some kind under her shirt. _Must be a good luck charm of some sort,_ I mused. I felt my father get to his feet. "Are you prepared?" he asked in his deep, commanding tone.

Both knight and squire faced him, bowed, and saluted with their blades. Quickly they faced eachother and performed the same service, then moved a sword's length apart.

"Cross your weapons," King Roald ordered, waiting until the two had obeyed. "Do honour to the laws of chivalry and to the customs of your lands. Guard!"

Instantly Dain swung his sword to meet Alanna's. A clear bell-like sound rang throughout the room. He applied pressure, his muscles bulging, trying to force Alanna's blade to the floor. To his obvious surprise, Alanna held. I wasn't as startled. I-and our friends- knew the training that Alanna went through to keep up with everyone. She practiced constantly, always looking for ways to improve.

Dain broke away and circled her, yelling, "Prepare to die, boy!"  
Alanna ignored him. Jon had taught me that it was custom to yell insults and challenges at a foe. Alanna would later tell me that she considered it a waste of breath, something I agreed wholeheartedly with (not that I duelled). She also said that being quiet made her foes nervous, if not downright scared.  
Dain thrust his blade down and in. Alanna knocked it away and thrust straight at Dain's heart. The knight backpedalled hastily, and Alanna lunged backwards before she fell over.

"A child's trick!" The Tusaine scoffed.

I saw my father wink at Roger. "That 'child's trick' nearly worked," he murmured to my older cousin, to the Ambassador's obvious discomfort.

Dain was still circling and talking. I realised that he was trying to distract Alan while he searched for an opening, and nearly laughed out loud. _Alan wasn't some empty-headed fool, to be angered by Dain's frivolous words!_ The knight lunged in and out swiftly, and I was forced to watch with increasing nervousness as he continued to search for any weakness he could take advantage of. Alex, sensing my growing anxiety, lifted my hand to his lips again, this time kissing my knuckles. I glanced at him, and he smiled reassuringly.  
Soon the two were breathing hard, Dain gasping heavily, and Alanna panting. Dain began to panic, frantically insulting her ancestors, mother, and looks. I wanted to laugh even more. _Alanna would never let herself get angry over that, and Dain is wasting his energy. Barbarian.  
_  
Suddenly Alanna, obviously having seen a chance that I completely missed (I wasn't trained in swordplay so I missed half the fight as it is, no matter how hard I looked), lunged desperately. Dain scrambled backwards and she tried to wipe the sweat off her face onto her sleeve while the knight floundered momentarily.

Even I could see she was to slow, and I knew with a sinking heart what would happen next. Dain lunged in with a yell of triumph. Alanna skipped backwards, but not quickly enough-Dain's sword tip sank into her right arm below her elbow. Slowly my friend lowered her blade. I could tell she was kicking herself _very_ hard. According to the rules (which Jon had also taught me), Dain had drawn first blood, thereby winning the duel. It was over.

Suddenly I saw the crazed Tusaine's eyes, and realised what was about to happen. Even as I yelled "Look out!" Dain lunged forward crazily. Alanna jumped aside, narrowly missing getting speared.

"Foul!" I heard Gary shout in fury. I started shouting as well as the other courtiers, yelling "Foul!"

I could tell Dain hadn't heard. He searched hungrily for another opening. My uncle stood up and strode forward, his blade gleaming in his hand. I could tell he was going to end the fight, and he wouldn't care if Dain was hurt. _Well, neither did I! I may not know much about swordplay and duels, but what Dain did was obviously dishonourable and whatever he gets, he deserves!  
_  
To my amazement, Alanna shook her head at Gareth. _Is she mad?_ I wondered in horror. Then I saw the icy fury in her eyes, and shivered inwardly._ I did _not_ pity the Tusaine knight at all._ I knew that Alanna loved the laws of chivalry, and the crazed barbarian had just broken about every one of them, and I knew she intended to make him pay dearly for such a transgression. She carefully stepped back, shifting Lightning to her left hand, then lunged forward viciously. I heard Faithful yowl in what I deduced to be encouragement. Crash after crash rang through the room. Alanna moved swiftly like her sword's name as she rained blow after blow on the Tusaine barbarian, who flailed desperately, then sent hooked her sword under his hilt and sent it flying with a wrist flick. Dain turned to run and stumbled, falling onto his back. Alanna darted in to press Lightning's point into his throat.

"Stupid." Alanna's quiet voice echoed with fury throughout the silent room. Her eyes were the coldest I'd ever seen. "That was very stupid. And you're lucky I'm a better 'knight' than you are, or you'd be dead." She lifted her blade, turning away in contempt to walk back to Jon and the others. Jon braced her as Uncle Gareth bound her wound. Both Alex and I stood, me intending to use my Gift, but Alanna caught my eye and shook her head ever so slightly. I understood. _I couldn't heal her-the Tusaines would probably see it as a weakness. Besides, Alanna has the Gift too. She can heal herself when she's alone._ It still frustrated me to deny my own Gift's use though.  
Alex, sensing my frustration, put his closest arm around my shoulders. I looked into his face and smiled wearily, leaning into him.

"He was holding back." Alex pulled away so we could turn around. Ambassador Mikal's face was thoughtful as he stared at us all. "All along-that boy was holding back. If all your young knights are like that one squire, your army must be formidable indeed," he said, looking at Roald.  
"See for yourself," my father replied, pointing at my quiet and commanding brother, my big cousin Gary and even bigger Raoul, and of course, cat-like Alex. "They are part of our future," my father said, quiet and firm. It is a future that we all want to protect."

* * *

**So? What did you think? I always thought Dain was a barbarian. Anyway, hope you liked it, please review!**

**Still have no entries for my competition...not even one? Come on guys! My email is on my profile and it's vicksterj-at-hotmail-dot-com so hope to hear from you guys soon! :D**

**As I've previously said, I'm actually working on a Harry Potter fanfic, but until the glitchy thing that has happened has been resolved, I won't be able to publish, so y'all just have to be patient. The good thing is that I'll be able to get some done, so you'll get a big chunk of fanfic when the HP Fandom comes back online! YAY! :D I'm looking forward to that, it looks quite good already!**

**Stay tuned!**

**~MagicalLeaves**


	11. Update for All!

**Hi guys! Just an update...**

**The new HP fanfic has been going alright. I must say that I actually wrote a bit of it last year, but since I changed the format to diary-style I'm having to rewrite it, which is taking a while...still, it's coming along rather well if I do say so myself! So stay tuned! I'll either upload using the workaround or wait until the issue gets fixed, I'm a patient person. Plus, I have this to work on (which isn't affected by the issues, YAY)**

**Still no entries! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE? D= Come on, I'd be happy with just one?**

**So, the chapter coming up is taking longer than I thought! Here's a quick blurb, if you will, and also on the future chapters as well:**

**Willow catches two friends brawling over an infatuation...will their friendship (between Willow and the friends, and between the friends themselves) be repaired, or is it best to abandon what's unfixable?**

**Everybody's brawling nowadays...but this one is for different reasons. A freind is injured, And Willow and Alex's relationship is thrown into jeopardy...how will that work out?**

**Willow is called to war...but not to fight. How will the princess handle the sight of blood, guts, and the aftermath of war, on the fields of battle?**

**DUN DUN DUN...Stay tuned everyone! Thanks so much for your patience! :D**

**~ MagicalLeaves**


	12. Lessons on Removing Weeds

**Here you go, guys! As promised, the new chapter! (Note that for some reason, all my alerts have been disabled, so I had to re-enable them. Anyway, this means you may have to manually check all stories you're subscribed to-including this one of course! :D)**

**Three words: Delia. Causes. Trouble.**

**That is all. (Coincidentally, this is also three words! I'm awesome!^.^)**

**Enjoy!**

**P.S. Actually, that is not all, but I just love that statement haha xD I have also modified a spell that has been used in Alanna: The First Adventure. Apart from that, I can't think of anything else I've taken, but if you recognise it then it's probably not mine! So don't sue me, you'll get nothing :P**

* * *

I left the infirmary, mentally exhausted. Duke Baird had intended to teach me about diseases today, but a woman had been stricken with a breach birth and I'd ended learning more about babies than I wanted to in three hours. _If it had been stretched out over a few weeks, it wouldn't have been as bad, but that's not how births are orchestrated! _I made a face as I considered it, then shoved it out of my head. Thinking about it wasn't really a good idea. _Though His Grace had promised that I would learn about diseases tomorrow, so maybe it was a fair trade. I did learn something after all…_

Someone called my name. Startled out of my contemplation, I turned, and felt a smile bloom on my tired face.

"Uncle Gareth," I said, surprised but pleased, "this is a pleasant surprise."

"Hello Willow," my uncle replied. "I can the same. I rarely see you nowadays. How goes your studies?"

"Alright," I replied cheerfully as he settled into my walking pace. "How are the new boys doing?" I asked, referring to the pages that he was training.

"They're going very well actually," replied my uncle as we continued down the hallway. "Though I've yet to encounter one with as much skill as Alex or Alan. "

I grinned. Everyone knew that the two were getting private lessons from my uncle, who was both the Training Master and the King's Champion as well as the Prime Minister. Even though Alex was now a knight, he continued to get occasional lessons from Gareth and had yet to best him in a duel.

As we rounded a corner, a yell suddenly cut through our conversation. It was followed by the clashing of blades. Uncle Gareth and I exchanged glances. Gareth no doubt recognised those voices from his four years of teaching them as pages, while I recognised them as a friend and a cousin. _Why were Gary and Raoul fighting?_ I wondered, as we hurried towards one of the indoor courts, where the noise was coming from.

As the pair of us halted in the doorway, I got my first view of Gary and Raoul. Both boys were circling eachother, their skin slick with sweat, live swords in hand. I could hear their harsh breathing even from here. I could see that several cuts, mostly long and shallow, marred their bodies. The cause of the duel lay discarded (but definitely not forgotten) on the ground-a tan riding glove that I was certain belonged to one lady of Eldorne.

Fury bubbled in my throat. For a moment I saw red. I had been aware of the lady Delia's purposes the moment I had met her-I just knew she was one of those people. That she had succeeded, and that the boys had let her, lodged in my stomach until I thought I might be sick. Instead, I clenched my fists so hard it hurt, and bit my lip until the red wave had receded.

I sensed rather than saw my uncle open his mouth, but I cut him off. "Uncle, allow me."

Uncle Gareth glanced at me, then nodded for me to continue, curious.

I cupped my hands in front of me. "The best way to kill a weed is to attacks its roots," I said, not realising how cold and deadly my voice sounded, then began a spell that he himself had taught me, modifying it for my own purposes.

"_Bright flame, light fire,  
__Around that fabric burns higher.  
__Light the fire, bright the flame,  
__Burn that glove in Mithros's name."_

Sapphire blue fire sparked, then erupted from my hands to seize the offending glove on the floor greedily,

"Hey!"

One of the boys (or maybe both, I couldn't tell) had finally noticed that they weren't alone. The pair turned on me, fury in their eyes. That fury gave way to puzzlement, recognition, and finally, guilt and shame. I felt my uncle again open his mouth, but I beat him to it.

"Shame on you." My soft voice whipped through the room. "Brawling like a pair of drunken soldiers over a lady who doesn't even have a care for you. You choose to give up your friendship, forged in fire, for someone you've known for, what, two weeks?" I hadn't realised I was trembling openly until I clenched my fists. "I can't believe this. I thought better of you. Both of you. I actually had respect for you."

"Will, we-" Gary began, helplessly.

"No," I replied. "Just no, Gary."

Then I turned and walked out.

In the silence Duke Gareth turned to his son and his son's friend. "I meant to reprimand you, but my niece has done the job even better than I could have." He studied the pair. "I can only say that I've never been more disappointed in the pair of you."

Gary and Raoul shrank. Gary was crimson with shame and guilt. _I thought Father would yell at me. That he's talking quietly, like we're having a chat, and that Willow spoke like that is worse. Much, much worse._ Glancing at Raoul, he could see that his best friend felt the same.

Gary's father continued. "I believe that border patrol would be a good way of cooling your tempers, and to give you time to contemplate the events that transpired today. I'm sure the Lord Provost can help you there. Dismissed."

As Gareth strode out, he paused, seeming to think of something, before swinging around. "And may I suggest waiting until your return before you see Willow? I doubt she will keep her control if you visit to say goodbye."

And with that he left the two in the indoor court to mend what was broken.

~oOo~

I walked into my room, then slammed the door hard. Fighting tears, I picked up my flute from the mantelpiece hoping to find calm in the music as I always did. Instead, as I lifted it to my lips, Delia's face popped into my head.

With an inarticulate shriek I whirled, throwing my flute across the room. It slammed into the wall, then landed on the ground with a light thud, gleaming dully in the sunlight, a brand new scratch along the side.

I swayed, then staggered over to my possession, dropping to my knees helplessly. As I reached for it, slender fingers entered my view, gently picking up my instrument. I looked up.

"I was passing by, and I thought I heard you," Alex-for it was he- said, his face curious. It was in that moment that I realised that while I had shut the door, I hadn't locked it. The youth lifted the flute back onto the mantelpiece with one hand, then looked at me more carefully, his expression becoming more alarmed. "Willow? Is everything alright?"

I realised then that I had lost control of my tears-they had begun slipping down my cheeks in a thick hot flood. "No," I sobbed.

Alex knelt in front of me. "Hey," he said, his voice still gentle. He pulled me into a hug, letting me cry into his chest. "Everything will be okay."

"No it won't," I sobbed.

"What won't?" asked Alex. "Tell me."

The whole story spilled from lips in a flood, rather like my tears. I told Alex everything-from seeing my uncle to walking out on Gary and Raoul. "And then, I, I came here to try to calm down, but I couldn't and I-my flute-" my words dissolved into my tears again.

"Shhh," Alex murmured, rocking me gently. "It's okay. Everything's alright." His lips brushed my forehead.

My tears eventually slowed. Alex continued to murmur soothingly. Finally I pulled back to look up into his face. "Better?" he asked.

"I got your shirt wet," I said, as if that explained everything.

Alex shrugged. "That's alright, I've got plenty more where that came from," he replied softly, smiling at me. I couldn't help but smile back.

"Are you going to do anything about it?" Alex asked, jolting my mind back to my current problem.

"I can't Alex. I'm just so angry. I'd probably say something I'd regret."

"Good," replied Alex. I looked up at him, startled. "The two blank heads deserve it. From what you told me, they were acting like a couple of drunkards."

I giggled. "That's what I said to them."

Alex smiled. "Good. Like I said, they deserved it."

"They did, didn't they?" I said thoughtfully. I smiled up at him. "Thanks Alex. I feel much better now."

"My pleasure," replied Alex, his lips brushing my forehead. He paused, then his lips drifted lower to mine. When we pulled away, he whispered, "Don't run away, Willow, but I think I'm falling in love with you."

I went still, then buried my head in his chest, for a different reason this time. I heard his worried voice. "Willow?"

I swallowed, pulling away. _What was someone supposed to say? What was _I_ supposed to say?_ Finally I looked up into his face. He was watching me anxiously. "Why did you say that?" I finally whispered.

Alex swallowed. "I don't know," he admitted. "Because it's the truth?"

"I can't...Alex, I can't say anything to this. I can't tie myself down! I'm too young...and I have to think about Tortall, and her people-"

Alex pulled me into a hug, cutting off my frantic words. "It's okay," he reassured me. "I didn't mean to upset you. I just thought you had to know...Don't say anything. Just be with me." I clung to him, tears beginning to spill down my face again as he kissed me sweetly and tenderly.

"I promise I'll never hurt you, especially like Gary and Raoul did," he whispered.

It was bliss, to be held and comforted. But something dark inside me whispered that, like the long, hot, lazy days of summer, it wouldn't last. That dark shadow in me whispered that the blizzard was coming. After all, some promises are made to be broken.

* * *

**Interesting ending...DUN DUN DUN**

**Well, Gary and Raoul have been sent away on border patrol, so everybody knows what's coming up next... someone else is going away on border patrol...what does this have to do with the two sweethearts? How will they get through this? Can they?**

**TO BE CONTINUED! (Man that looks so Pokémon right now xD)**

**Please review!**

**~ Love MagicalLeaves**


	13. A Million Pieces of Glass

**Hey all!**

**New chapter! Yay!  
I don't own the following fight scene. I don't own Faithful either...though I wish I did. Who wouldn't want a constellation cat?**

**Some promises are made to be broken...read on... **

* * *

A woman knelt before the fireplace, her ebony tresses hanging down, obscuring her view of the book in front of her. She scowled, tucking her hair behind her ears as her eyes skated over the pages, oblivious to the fact that they were perilously close to the flames. At last, she sat back with a sigh.

Snapping the book shut, I laid it to one side of me. Adopting a tailor's seat, I began to breathe deeply, sliding into meditation as Duke Baird had taught me. I felt myself go calm and blank like a lake on a cloudless day, and opened my eyes to gaze into the flames.

_Willow!_

I jerked awake with a yelp, causing me to lean in too close. The flames brushed the ends of hair with a gentle sizzling sound. Hurriedly I yanked backwards-and fell on my back with a louder yelp.

Scrambling to my feet, I whirled to glare at whoever had interrupted me. What I saw made my jaw drop. Faithful, Alanna's black cat, was standing in my open doorway, glaring at me with his striking violet eyes.

_I always locked and warded the door so nobody could surprise me while I was scrying! _

"How…" I gasped, wondering if I was asking about the door, or the fact that the cat had just _talked_ to me.

_Willow! Alex is in danger!_ Faithful yowled.

I snapped out of my stupor, accepting what I thought had been the impossible. "Show me," I ordered. Locking the door behind me, I chased the black cat down the hallway.

I stopped, gasping for breath, just in time to see a black tail whip round the corner. I had chased Faithful for what seemed like years, the cat leading me towards the indoor courts.  
I rounded the corner-and stopped. Faithful had disappeared!_ Is this his idea of a joke?_ I demanded silently, confusion and fear roiling in me.

I heard a thud, followed by a voice. "I want to stop. Something's wrong!"  
I could've recognised Alanna's voice anywhere. Without hesitation I ran towards the entrance to the far indoor court.

I skidded to a halt just in time to see Alex bring his sword down on Alanna's collarbone. She dropped to her knees with a cry of pain. Alex raised his sword again, this time aiming to break Alanna's neck. But what chilled my to the bone was the nasty smile on Alex's face. _It looked like he wanted to kill her..._

"Alex!" I screamed desperately, not knowing what to do. To my despair the knight ignored me. I screamed his name again helplessly, knowing it was hopeless. Alex was going to break her neck...and I couldn't stop it happening.

"Very interesting Alex."  
To my relief, Alex turned, dropping his sword. I turned also. Faithful had reappeared, this time at the feet of another of my friends, mentor, and chess teacher-Sir Myles of Olau. The knight continued to speak. "You've certainly proved you're better than Alan. Of course, you _are_ four years older and have several battles to your credit. However, I think you two have played 'Best Warrior' long enough. Or didn't you realise you had injured Alan?"

Alex stared at Myles, then me, before turning to Alanna. The nasty smile had vanished the instant his attack had stopped. "Alan, I didn't-here, let me help you up-"

"Don't touch me!" cried my friend as he reached for her. Quickly, she added, "Please, Alex-it's my collarbone. I think it's broken."

_Well, that I could deal with. I was a healer, after all._ I moved forward, intending to help Alanna. Alex knelt beside her. "Alan, I'll never forgive myself-"

Alanna gave him a smile taut with pain. "It's alright. We just got a little carried away. With my Gift I'll be fine in a couple of days."

"Are you alright, Alan?" I asked, fearful. The pair of them looked up. I could tell from Alanna's eyes that she was in quite a bit of pain. Shock was setting in for her, and nausea was probably the reason she was beginning to look ill.

Alex looked up to me. There was torment in his eyes before he quickly looked past my head, avoiding my gaze. "Sir Myles, I didn't-" he began.

"The Provost is looking for you," Myles replied, holding Alex's gaze with his own. "I believe he has a border patrol ready. It must have been hard on you, cooped up this winter while everyone else got duties."

The slim boy stood, still avoiding my gaze. "If there's anything I can do-"

"I'll let you know right away," Alanna assured him. She was sweating now.

As Alex turned to leave, I stood, reaching for his arm. He stepped around me, lowering his head to the floor. I grabbed his chin with my fingers, forcing him to look at me.  
"Alex?" I said softly, worried by his behaviour now, but he pulled out of my grasp. "I have to go," he muttered, hurrying from the room.

"Wait!" My call fell on deaf ears. Myles looked from me to the door as Alex walked out. I could tell he was putting two and two together.

Myles moved across the room to kneel by Alanna. "Just lie still," he told her. "I'll get a healer-and some servants. We'll have to carry you out, I'm afraid."

"No, it's fine," I interjected, pushing aside my worry for Alex. "I can heal him." I moved to Alanna's side, my Gift sparkling on my fingers. "If that's alright with you," I added, glancing at my young friend. Alanna nodded, so I laid my hands on her shoulder gently. Exploring the wound, I shivered mentally. Alex had hit Alanna so hard he'd basically snapped the bone all the way through. While I was horrified at the force that he'd used, it also meant that all I needed to do was shift the bone back into place and fuse the two sides together.

Finished, I lifted my head. The room spun around me for a moment before steadying.

"Thanks," Alanna rasped.

"I nodded, pushing away the fatigue. "It's nothing."

"What brought you here?" Alanna asked Myles. "No one knew..."

The large knight nodded to Faithful. "Faithful brought me. He was very forceful! I'm glad I listened. Alan, Alex was trying to kill you."

I felt a chill run through me at Myles's words. _Alex would never do such a thing!_

Alanna shook her head. "He's been my friend for years." Faithful meowed at her and she grimaced. "I don't want to hear anymore about it, she said flatly.

Servants arrived to assist Alanna to her room. I tried to stand, only to have the room spin around me for a second time. Myles caught me. "Sorry," I muttered.

My former chess teacher and friend studied me, his brows drawn together in a frown. "I'll help you to your room."

I was so exhausted that I let him.

~oOo~

I slumped in my chair, breathing deeply, trying to let all the emotions of the past hour slide away. It didn't work.

_Well?_

I looked up. I was startled to see that Alanna's cat sat on the plush carpet, his unusual violet eyes pinning me in place. He'd followed me instead of Alanna.

_Are you just going to sit there? I thought you cared about him._

I opened my mouth to tell him that Alan was fine, then stopped. Having accepted that Faithful was more than just an average cat, it occurred to me that he probably knew Alanna's true identity. _Which meant he was talking about Alex,_ my mind hissed.

Worry trickled through me. I hadn't liked the look on Alex's face during their duel. But what scared me most was that he'd refused to look at me afterwards. I tried to get up again, but my legs had turned to jelly. I'd been trained as a healer, so I had the stamina to last a full day or longer in the infirmary, but what I'd witnessed today had mentally and emotionally drained me.

Faithful got to his feet and strolled over to press himself against my legs, purring. I felt warmth trickle through me, and found I could get up without collapsing. I stared at the cat. "What…How…"

_Off you go, before he does something stupid,_ Faithful ordered.

I stared at him. "What are you really?" I whispered.

Alanna's companion twitched his tail. _Go._

I went.

~oOo~

I don't know how I managed to get to Alex's chambers without breaking down completely, but I did. Now here, I hesitated at his door. It took all my strength to make a fist out of my hand and knock.

Geoffrey of Meron, one of Alan's year mates and Alex's squire, opened the door. His eyes widened. "Hi," he managed.

"Hi Geoffrey," I said, trying to hide my anxiety. "May I speak to Alex please?"

The boy hesitated. _Alex had probably told him not to let me in,_ I realised. _He didn't know whether to obey me or his knightmaster._ With that realisation, I sighed. "Squire Geoffrey, I'm a princess of Tortall, and as such, I'm of a higher rank than you. If I ask you to open the door, you should listen."

Geoffrey studied me, then nodded. I saw no anger or annoyance at my pulling rank. Instead, he looked almost grateful at me for figuring out his plight. He pulled open the door and let me in.

A fire had been lit in the hearth. Alex sat in an armchair, staring into the flames. The flickering oranges and golds reflected off his eyes set in a pale face. I crossed the room to kneel in front of him so we were on eye level. I sensed rather than saw Geoffrey leave, quietly shutting the door that connected his room to his knightmaster's.

Alex blinked, then colour seemed to flood his face as he recognised me. He stood swiftly, turning to look out the window. "I thought I gave order not to be disturbed," he mumbled, almost to himself.

I moved up behind him. "I ordered Geoffrey to let me in," I said quietly.

Alex made a noise that was somewhere between a laugh and a sob. "I didn't think you'd have the guts for that." His voice was muffled.

"Yes, well, I did," I replied, my voice still soft. I put my hand on his shoulder. Alex jumped. "Please tell me what's wrong."

Another half laugh, half sob, jumped from Alex. "I tried to kill him."

"No you didn't," I said firmly, my voice almost sharp.

Alex whirled, his gaze wild. "I did! He was just lying there! I could've stopped! But I…I…" he stopped, his chest heaving, then dropped to his knees. I knelt beside him. "I couldn't stop," the boy muttered. "I felt like I had to win."

It was my turn to put my arms around him as his shoulders began to shake. It was my turn to whisper soothingly as he buried his face in my shoulder. It was my turn to rock back and forth while he cried.

When Alex had calmed, we were still kneeling on the carpet. He finally pulled away to meet my gaze for the first time since his duel. His grey eyes were like storm clouds: dark, and haunted. I leaned forward to put my forehead against his. "It's okay," I said softly, like a trainer with a spooked horse.

Alex gave another choked sob. "I could've killed him." He stared at me. "How did you know where we were?"

I decided not to tell him about Faithful's interesting…talents. I wasn't sure how many other people knew. "I heard… a voice."

Alex went still. "A voice? What did it say?"

I swallowed. "That you were in danger."

Alex laughed bitterly. "I was. In danger from myself." He looked at me, his eyes frantic. "I was caught up in it. It felt like I was fighting an enemy."

"Everybody makes mistakes," I said, trying to reassure him.

Alex stood up abruptly with another bitter laugh. "Mistakes can kill."

I stood slowly. What I saw in Alex's face frightened me. It was bleak and distant. It looked like the face of a stranger. _Where was that boy who bright smile rivalled the sun? It seemed like so long ago when we'd last been together._ I reached for his hand. "Alex, don't talk like that," I begged.

Alex gazed at me again. "You're too good for me," he mumbled, a look of intense pain passing over his bleak features. He pulled me into an embrace, his lips meeting mine almost desperately. Some part of me felt like it was more of a farewell, as if we'd never be able to do this again.

Alex pulled away far too quickly for me. The part of me that felt like it was a farewell grew. "I'm going on a border patrol between Fief Tirragen and Tusaine," he said. His features again resumed a polite, distant mask. "I don't know how long I'll be gone."

"When do you leave?" the words jumped out of me as I stared at him, but he didn't reply.

"I need to pack," he replied instead, looking at me. Again, it was like looking into the face of a stranger.

I couldn't help it. Fury rippled through me. "Fine Alex. Just fine. You wanted to push me away? Well, it worked. I've never liked cowards who run from their own demons. It only comes back to bite them."

Alex glanced at me. Oddly, I thought detected a hint of triumph. I continued, choking back tears. _I would_ not_ cry in front of the boy that broke my heart._ "You promised you would never hurt me like Gary and Raoul did," I whispered. "But this, refusing to tell me what's wrong, not trusting me, pushing me away, this is much worse."  
I turned on my heel, despair and anger flowing through me as I walked out on him. "Try not to die." My words were a lash.

I waited until I had returned to my room before succumbing to my tears, my control shattering like a million pieces of glass. I hadn't realised how fragile love could be, how dangerous making promises were. I hadn't realised that some promises were made to be broken.

* * *

**Uh oh...**


	14. Promises

**Willow and Alex hit the first hurdle in their relationship. The next day...**

* * *

The flute lay on the ground, a long scratch up its side, forever tarnished. I strained to reach it, my breath sobbing in my throat. Slender fingers picked it up, and Alex stood, gazing at it for a long moment before lifting eyes to my face.

Instead of handing it over, he whispered, "You're too good for me."  
I reached for him, my heart shattering at the haunted look in his eyes. My hands were a centimetre away from his hand and the flute.  
Then the ground opened up beneath him, and he fell.

I woke with a shriek, flailing around, and tumbled off my bed. Hitting the ground with a thud both hurt and left me winded, but it did wake me up. I lay there, sucking in huge gasps of air as I tried to stop myself from shaking. _It's alright, it's alright. Only a dream…  
__Was it?_ Asked a reasonable part of my mind. _Or was it a warning of things to come?  
_I shoved the thought away with a sob. _No, Alex would never fall like that. I wouldn't let him._

_Willow._ The name purred through me. I stilled.  
_Willow._

I rolled over, getting to my hands and knees. Faithful sat there, purring.  
"How did you get in?" I whispered, not really caring.  
The black cat stretched luxuriously. _Does it matter?_ He studied me for a moment, then stood, padding into my sitting room. _Alex leaves in the hour._

"_What?_" I stared at the tip of black tail as Faithful disappeared outside, not even bothering to wonder when the door had been opened. "But he never told me!" I gasped. Racing to my wardrobe, I threw open the doors and began to change frantically, not caring what I threw on as long as it was decent.

Finally I scrambled into my sitting room. Faithful was on one of my chairs. "Where is he?" I demanded. "Why aren't you with Alanna?" I added as the thought occurred to me.

_I believe he's preparing his horse with his squire,_ replied the cat. _I'll keep an eye on your room,_ he added. _And I think that Alanna can sleep by herself.  
_I stared at the creature for a long moment. "Are you really a cat?" I whispered.

Violet eyes met my own. _What do you think?_

"You're not from this world, are you? Are you an Immortal?"

_I am whatever you think I am._

Definitely not from this world," I muttered as I raced out the door, Faithful's purring laughter echoing in my wake.

~oOo~

"Well, this is it."

Alex looked up. His squire was standing there, waiting for him, having finished with his farewells to Jon. For some odd reason, Myles was there too. Alex said farewell to his teacher and shook hands with Jon. "What happened?" muttered Jon, searching Alex's face.  
"Doesn't matter," replied Alex, knowing that it mattered a lot. His heart twisted painfully as he glanced at the stables. _She wasn't coming. Maybe he'd done his job too well.  
_Taking a deep breath, the young knight turned to his squire. "Let's go," he said softly, ignoring another twinge in his heart.

"_Alex!_" The cry arced through the air like an exotic bird call. A figure emerged from the stables, running towards him. Ebony hair streaming behind her like wings, the figure threw herself into Alex's arms.

Alex returned the embrace fiercely as I buried my face in his chest. "I thought you weren't coming," he whispered into my black tresses.

"I'm sorry." The words spilled out of my throat like the tears that spilled from my eyes. "I'm sorry for what I said last night, and the way I acted-"

"Shhh," Alex said. "It's okay. You didn't mean it."

I tightened my arms around him, the embrace of a child who didn't want to be left alone in the dark at night. _But there's a monster under my bed, Mama._

"How long are you gone?" I whispered.

Alex's fingers touched my chin as he lifted my face to meet his gaze. "The rest of the month," he replied quietly.

I stared into his grey orbs. They were the colour of rain and thunder. The colour of a coming storm.

"You'll be back right? We'll sort this out, and-"

"I promise," replied Alex, his eyes sparkling with unshed tears.

Geoffrey was standing further away, his back turned, giving us some semblance of privacy. I knew Jon and Myles were watching. Mithros, Stefan the hostler was probably watching too. That meant that George would find out about this. But at the moment I didn't care. I just wanted to remove the look of loss from Alex's face.

For the first time since we had started our relationship, I kissed him first. I pressed my lips to his, trying to pour all my feelings, everything I'd never said, everything locked away into my heart, into him. I kissed him as he was leaving forever. I kissed him as if he wasn't going to return. When we finally broke apart, Alex rested his forehead on mine. "If this is how I thought you would say goodbye I would've gone on more border patrols."

I gave him a choked laugh, and was rewarded with a small smile. It was the first I'd seen since the disastrous duel yesterday, and I clung to it with my heart and soul.

"Promise you'll come back?" I whispered, the words spilling from my lips uncontrolled.

Alex gazed down at me, the haunted look banished for the moment by an expression of such tenderness that I felt tears forming in my eyes again. "I swear it."

I nodded. In that moment I realised that I trusted him with more than my life. I trusted him with my heart, my soul. I trusted him with me.

Taking a step back, I looked into his eyes for one last time, our fingers still intertwined. "Goodbye."

Alex smiled gently. "It's not goodbye, silly," he murmured, his free hand brushing my cheek. "I'll be back."

He gave my hand one last squeeze before letting go, then turned to mount his horse. Gazing down at me, he said, "I'll see you in the new month."

"The new month," I repeated, sealing the promise.

Then Alex and Geoffrey rode away.

* * *

**Well, it's all sorted out now...hopefully...**

**Stay tuned!  
****Thanks so much for reading!  
**

**Love MagicalLeaves  
**


	15. Preparing for War

**Sorry that took so long! I just had some exams for uni last week (bleh, exams), and then got a bit stuck over how to write the next part...But I did it after a while! :D**

**Can't think of anything to say right about now, so enjoy!**

* * *

A young woman sat in her room, staring at the silver flute in her fingers. The room was peaceful as she turned the tube over and over again, as if searching for the answers to life's mysteries in the reflective gleam. As she continued to slowly turn her possession, a thin scratch came into view.

I gave a soft cry and let the flute slip from my fingers. I kept forgetting the scratch was there, and despite my best efforts, I couldn't repair the damage. I tried to ignore it, but my instrument didn't feel the same. It was funny how one little mark had changed the whole flute. _Everything's changed,_ whispered a part of my mind. Biting back a sob, I bent over to pick my flute off the ground before setting it in its stand. After a moment's consideration, I rotated it so that I couldn't see the scratch. I just couldn't look at it at the moment.

My depressing thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. Gratefully I got up to open it.

Gary and Raoul stood in the doorway.

_Mithros. I forgot they came back from border patrol today._ I stared at them.

"Um…" Gary too appeared lost for words. We stood there in awkward silence when suddenly Gary blurted, "We're really sorry."

I scrambled for something to say, my mouth still half open.

Gary fumbled onwards. "I mean, we thought about it a lot during border patrol and we realised how stupid we were-"

"Stop it," I yelped. When Gary shut up, staring at me in surprise, I sighed. "Gods forgive me, but that was awkward. Yes, I forgive you. What's done is done. Please stop staring at me like that, it's making me feel stupid."

Gary continued to stare. Finally he said, "May we come in?"

"Wait." I took a step towards him to give him a hug. It was only as I felt him stiffen in surprise that I realised how much I'd missed my big joking cousin. There was a beat before he relaxed and put his arms around me. When we finally pulled back, I embraced Raoul as well, then looked them both in the eyes. "I really do forgive you. And I'm sorry for my behaviour that day."

Gary snorted. "Don't be. It was rather refreshing. You should lose your temper more often and tell us what you truly think. Besides, we deserved it." He smiled at me. "So, may we come in now?"

I returned his smile, stepping aside to let them in.

"So, how has life been without the pair of us?" asked Raoul as we all sat down.

"Alright," I replied calmly.

"Actually, we passed Alex on the way back to Corus," remarked Gary. "He was being sent away on border patrol. You know anything about that?"

"Yes," I replied, ignoring the twinge in my heart. "Alex was feeling cooped up. He volunteered for patrol."

My cousin whistled. "Bet you were pleased with that."

I scowled at him. "Well, I wasn't, but it doesn't matter. Alex was getting frustrated. Sooner or later…" my throat tightened for a moment, but I ploughed on. "Sooner or later someone would've gotten hurt."

Gary studied me, his gaze searching. He knew something was up. He opened his mouth to ask, but was interrupted by a knock at the door. I used it as an excuse to break eye contact with him, standing to answer the knock.

"Excuse me, Your Highness," murmured a young message runner, "but His Majesty requests the presence of Sirs Gareth and Raoul in the War Chamber right away."

The three of us exchanged surprised glances. _What on earth was going on?_

"Quickly please, it's a matter of utmost urgency. I speak His Majesty's own words."

My feeling of foreboding deepened. _Father wouldn't use words like that without good reason. What had happened to worry him so?_

"Of course," Raoul said as Gary got to his feet. "We'll come right away." he glanced at me. "We'll see you later."

"Yes, see you later," I replied absently. As they left I decided to go pick Jon's brains about this.

I wasn't successful in this venture. I hadn't considered that, if Gary and Raoul were summoned, then Jon must be attending the same summons too. I stared in frustration at his door, cursing inwardly. I had been a fool. Just as I was about to turn away, I heard a meow, followed by the door opening.

"Willow?" Alanna stood in the doorway. "Faithful said you were outside."

I relaxed somewhat. "Hi Alan. May I come in?"

"Of course." Alanna stood aside so I could enter her room.

"Jon's in a meeting," said Alanna as we sat down, "so he's not here."

"I know," I murmured. "I was speaking to Gary and Raoul, before they got summoned away."

My fiery-haired friend's brows shot up. "You spoke to Gary and Raoul?" My friends now knew about the incident that had involved the three of us and had concluded with the boys being sent off on patrol.

I shrugged. "It's water under the bridge now. At least they know not to make me cross ever again," I added jokingly.

Alanna grinned. "What I would've given to see that." I scowled at her.

"Anyway," I said, remembering what I had come for, "Have you got any idea what this is all about? When the runner came to summon Gary and Raoul, he said it was of 'utmost urgency', and said he quoted my father."

Alanna's smile faded. "Do you remember George?" she asked finally.

"How can I forget him?" I joked. The two of us had become fast friends. Alanna also knew that George had taught me some basic hand-to-hand combat. I hadn't yet told Jon, but I suspected he knew.

Alanna didn't smile at my words. "A while ago, I joked that it would be great if the spies in Tusaine were as good as George's rogues. He said it could be arranged."

I frowned. "So George has put people into Tusaine," I said slowly. "How does that connect with this important meeting?"

Suddenly I saw it. George bringing reports from his people in Tusaine. Jon, Gary, and Raoul being summoned to the War Chamber. "Tusaine is preparing for war," I whispered.

Alanna met my gaze. "The information George gave me states that Duke Hilam mobilized the armies, and they're pointed at the Drell River."

"Mithros help us," I breathed.

"We'll need that help."

Both Alan and I looked up. Duke Baird stood in the doorway. He looked tired.

"My lord," I said, both of us rising.

"Please sit Willow, Squire Alan. There's no need for that. I apologise for interrupting, but I have a request for you."

"Of course, my lord," I replied, curious.

"Please come in," Alanna added.

The man waited until he had sat down before continuing. "I've just come from the meeting in the War Chamber. Judging from what I've overheard, you know that Tusaine is preparing for war?"

"Yes, Your Grace," we both replied.

The duke nodded. "Then you have deduced that that all high-ranking noblemen were in the War Chamber discussing how to respond. They have agreed to prepare for war. I'd like you to accompany me to the Drell River."  
I stared at him. "I don't understand."

"With war comes injuries," replied Duke Baird. "As a healer you'll be a great asset to Tortall's troops."

"My lord." I swallowed, fighting to stop my voice from rising. "I don't know anything about war. I'm a princess-Tusaine will target me even further. It wouldn't be practical-"

"You're one of the best students I've ever taught."

My mouth dropped. Duke Baird continued, ignoring the stunned look on both my and Alanna's faces. "And you'll be in the infirmary most of the time, away from the thick of the fighting. The things you've learned about the body can serve you well in defence."

_It was true. With the knowledge I had of nerves, I could paralyze a fully-grown knight-provided I could get close enough. If not, spelling them asleep worked as well._

"I don't think my father had this in mind when he allowed me to pursue my studies in healing," I finally managed to say.

Duke Baird looked into my eyes. "I spoke to him privately after the meeting. He has agreed to let you come."

I stared at him. "You're joking," I blurted.

"I don't joke about this," replied the duke. I saw a twinkle of amusement in his eye. "It's far too serious to jest about. Though I did hear an excellent one about a dog in the market square-"

I scowled at him. He chuckled. "Too soon?" He sobered. "The final choice is up to you. Let me remind you, before you start spouting about royalty going to war, that the only person in you family not going would be your mother."

I blinked. _He's right,_ I realised._ Jon would be going as a knight, Father probably as the commanding officer. If I went, the only person not going would be Mother._

I swallowed, stunned by the revelation, then lifted my chin to meet the duke's gaze. "I'd be honoured to accompany you as a healer."

Duke Baird nodded. "I thought you might say that. Though knowing your brother, I expected no less. I'll inform your father of your decision. I'll see you tomorrow in the infirmary."

"See you tomorrow," I replied, nodding.

Duke Baird rose. "I apologise again for barging in on you like this," he said to Alan. "You're welcome to join us during the coming battle."

Alanna nodded. "Thank you Your Grace."

Duke Baird nodded to the both of us, then left the room.

"I didn't know you were on such good terms with Duke Baird," remarked Alanna.

"We sort of…became friends over time," I replied, embarrassed.

Alanna grinned. "He's rather interesting. I used to see him as a great powerful healer. Now he just seems…more human."

"He is a human," I replied, my voice _very_ dry.

Alanna chuckled. "You know what I mean."

I shrugged. "He respects me and I respect him. From that respect…came friendship, I guess."

"He's a nice person," said Alanna thoughtfully.

"He's a healer. He has to be," I retorted, then grinned as I thought of something. "Now you with your temper, you'd never be a very good healer."

Hush, you!" Alanna exclaimed as I laughed.

* * *

**Did you like it? Please read and review!**

**~ MagicalLeaves**


	16. The Call to Muster

**Sorry I've taken so long! Here's the next chapter! There is a small passage that I've taken from In the Hand of the Goddess, plus any dialogue that sounds familiar would also be from there as well. Everything else is me meddling in Tamora Pierce's paints. Hope you the picture I painted! :D  
**

* * *

I was in my room packing when Jon found me. "Father's sent out the Call to Muster. I'm leaving in five days with the initial force-with Alanna, Gary, and Raoul." He sat down on my bed, the lines of exhaustion standing out on his face. "We're headed to River Drell. Uncle Gareth is commanding." As he spoke, his gaze flickered over me. Then his brows furrowed. "You're packing? Why?"

I blinked at his question. "I'm coming with you guys."

Jon stared at me. "What?"

"Duke Baird asked me to accompany him as a healer," I said.

"Mithros," muttered Jon. "Alanna told me, but I wasn't sure whether to believe it or not. How in Mithros's name did you get Father to agree? For that matter, how did you get the conservatives to agree?"

I rested my hands on my pack. "Duke Baird talked to Father. I don't know how he managed to convince the others. I didn't want to ask."

Jon studied me carefully. "Are you sure you're going as a healer?" When I looked at him in surprise, he sighed. "You're not going for any other reasons?"

"I wanted to help," I replied, surprised. 'What other reasons could there be?"

"Alex," Jon replied. "He's on border patrol where we're going." At my expression, his eyes widened.

I sank onto the bed, burying my face in my hands. "Goddess, I forgot all about him." _Actually, I had been trying to not remember him. What am I going to do?_

I lifted my head to find Jon studying me shrewdly. He knew something had happened, but I still refused to tell him what.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" he asked. When I scowled at him, he sighed. "Fine. Are you going to do anything about-well, whatever it is?"

"I can't avoid him forever," I replied.

"You're avoiding the question," Jon pointed out.

"Only because I don't know how to answer it," I muttered.

Jon took my hands. "I you want, I can distract him for a few days until you figure out what to do."

My eyes widened. "Really?" I asked, ashamed at how small and unsure my voice sounded (I prided myself on my independence).

Jon nodded. "I can't stall him forever though. You'll probably be staying at the Drell River fort when you're not at the infirmary. He saying there too-you'll run into eachother sooner rather than later."

I exhaled. "I know that," I sighed, then managed a small smile at my brother. "Thanks Jon," I whispered.

~oOo~

_After several days of gathering arms and supplies and outfitting men from nearby towns and villages, the initial force was ready. Three days after the Call to Muster went out, the force was assembled in military formation on the wide grass-covered hill between the palace and the Temple District, awaiting review by the king and Duke Gareth._

I was on my horse Star, next to Duke Baird with the other healers. I watched my uncle as he inspected the men. Finally, he turned and said something to my father who nodded in acknowledgement, before swinging up on his horse.

The good-natured gelding screamed, rearing to slash the air with his hooves. Uncle Gareth fought for control, surprise and puzzlement on his face. For a few moments I thought the gelding would settle. Then Uncle Gareth fell.

"Hold your formation!" Jon's roar rang out among the men as some of them started forward. My father moved swiftly to take the chestnut's reins, the horse having calmed down already. Unease flickered through me at the horse's behaviour. _What could cause Uncle Gareth's horse to rear? He's about as gentle as dear Star._

My thoughts whisked from my head as Gary shifted. Jon moved to stand in front of him. "I _said_, hold formation!"

As Gary glared at Jon, I was afraid that he would hit my brother for a moment. If Jon noticed the threat, he gave no sign of being afraid. Instead he added in a fierce undertone, "What can you do for him that isn't already being done? We're an army, Sir Gareth; let's try and act like one!"

The staring contest between the two held for a long moment. The Gary nodded sharply, returning to his place in the formation. I let out a breath I hadn't realised was holding.

In a swift movement, I swung off my horse, moving towards Duke Gareth. It wasn't until I had knelt beside my uncle that I realised that Duke Baird wasn't with me, but standing next to my father. When I looked up quizzically, my teacher nodded for me to proceed.

I swallowed. It was easy in the infirmary, where I didn't really know any of the patients I treated, or if I did then they were mostly cuts or minor injuries. This was my uncle, injured on the eve of battle. I swallowed again, forcing down my nervousness, then reached towards him with the sapphire fire of my Gift.

When I finally pulled back, I looked up into both Duke Baird and my father's faces. "His leg is broken in three places," I stated, trying to keep the wobble out of my voice. "It is a complicated break-he is no longer fit for command."

"Thank you, Healer Willow," replied my father. "What is your recommendation?" I met his gaze, startled for a moment. My father ignored my reaction. He simply gazed at me expectantly as if I was another healer.

I swallowed, stunned. _Father accepted me coming to war. Not only that, he was giving me a chance to prove myself._ That knowledge alone gave me the courage to meet his gaze again. "I recommend that you appoint another commander-in-chief, Your Majesty. Your Grace?" I added, looking up at my mentor.

"I agree with her recommendation," remarked Duke Baird. "Another commander-in-chief must be appointed."

That was what I was considering," replied my father calmly.

Duke Baird nodded. "In the meantime we shall get His Grace to the infirmary right away." Servants gathered, taking my uncle back to the palace on a stretcher, while another took hs horse back to the stables.

I had moved back to mount Star again when my father caught my eye. He didn't say anything, just nodded. From the expression on his face I realised that whatever he was testing me for, I had passed. I saw a respect and pride flicker in his eyes momentarily. I said nothing, only nodded back, a lump in my throat.

"Well done," murmured Duke Baird.

I looked up into his face. "That was very well handled Willow."

"Really?" I asked in surprise.

"Oh yes," replied my teacher. "You did exactly what I would've done."

I warmed at his unexpected praise.

During our conversation, a discussion had been taking place with King Roald and the other commanders. At last they seemed to reach an agreement. My father crossed to speak to Roger.

_Oh no, please let it not be him._

My father returned with Roger trailing beside him. "Duke Roger has kindly agreed to be our new Commander-in-chief," he announced. There were murmurs among the army. While I may not trust my cousin, he was well liked by many, being a charming, handsome man. He would make a popular commander.

Unease rippled through me. I didn't know why, but I had a bad feeling about what was coming.

* * *

**Well, intended to start on the war already, but I this part ended up being a lot longer than I thought it would! Sorry about that, but I hoped you enjoyed it!  
~ MagicalLeaves**


	17. In which Willow fails

**Yay! New chapter! :D In this, Willow hopefully sorts out things with Alex, and we meet a new character!**

**Enjoy!  
**

* * *

The next day found me going through some last-minute packing while the commanders met with their new commander-in-chief. Well, it wasn't really packing. It mostly consisted of me sitting in my room worrying about what I would do about Alex. I knew that Alex had wanted space when he left on border patrol-now I was going to suddenly enter that space. _What was I going to do?_

Despite the long hours while I waited for the meeting to finish, I couldn't come up with a solution. In fact, I found myself hoping desperately that Alex and I would never meet, that I would always be at the infirmary while he would stay at the fort. _Fat chance of that,_ whispered a nasty part of my mind, but I thrust it away.

A knock at the door startled the thoughts from my mind. Crossing the room, I opened the door to admit my older brother.

"Hi Jon," I greeted him, "how did the meeting go?"

"Roger is placing me and the others below the Drell Falls." Jon scowled and sat down on the chair. "Uncle Gareth was going to show me first-hand how a war was conducted by keeping me with him at the fort. Obviously Cousin Roger doesn't feel this necessary. He said it was 'an excellent command post without placing me in undue danger'." The last words were said mockingly.

"Calm down Jon. You'll probably still see some action," I replied patiently. I cocked my head, studying the face in front of me. "But you're not really worried about that are you?" I guessed.

"No." Jon's shoulders slumped. "I'm worried about you."

My chest tightened for a moment. "I'll be fine Jon. The infirmary will be set up behind the fort-Duke Baird showed me the plans. I doubt the Tusaine army will get that far. If they did, it would mean that they'd won. And if they did attack the infirmary, I can protect myself. You know that."

"I know," Jon replied, "but that doesn't stop me worrying."

I sighed, placing on of my hands on my brother's. "Yes, well I'm worried about you," I replied. "You're going to see action in this fight. I'm going to be sitting in the tent, worrying about whether any of you'll return whole or on a stretcher."

Jon smiled faintly. "I promise I won't return on a stretcher," he replied meeting my gaze. "Raoul, Gary, and Alanna will be with me, and I've got Myles for an advisor." He frowned suddenly. "Father has given royal order to engage with the enemy on the left side of the bank only. We are forbidden from crossing the river."

My eyes widened. "Fighting only in defence of the bank we hold? Jon, even I know that defending will not end the war. It will only prolong it."

Jon sighed. "You know Father. He takes being the Peacemaker very seriously."

I sighed. "Then this war will last a long time. Thanks for telling me Jon. Is there anything else?"

Jon nodded. "We ride one hour past dawn tomorrow."

~oOo~

Twelve long days later, I was standing next to my horse, Star, murmuring to my companion. I carefully lifted my healer's kit from my saddle, where it had been placed in a pouch designed for that purpose. _A surprise gift from Mother. She also approved of my actions._

"Need help with that?"

I glanced up with a smile. Jon stood next to me. He would be staying at the falls, while I had been given a room at the fort as it was closer to the makeshift infirmary that had been set up not long after our arrival.

"No thank you, Jon. I'm fine," I replied. "I thought you were at the falls."

Jon shrugged. "The men down there sorted everything out for us. I'm supposed to come back to the fort for lunch with the other commanders anyway."  
"Thinking about food already brother?" I teased.

"Well, I have to think about it for you too," he shot back. "You would starve yourself if we left you in the infirmary."

I was laughing when I spotted someone exit the fort. My eyes widened, then I whipped around to face Jon. "Help me," I whispered.

"Wha-" Jon began. I didn't wait for an answer. Instead I drew a rune in the air, and vanished, saddlebags and all.

Jon's eyes widened. "I didn't know you could do that," he muttered.

"There are lots of things about me you don't know" I whispered, standing next to him now (though he couldn't see me). "But you said you would help me with Alex. Well, I need that help now."

"Jon," called a voice.

My brother turned, surprised. "Alex," he replied.

Alex-for it was the person I had spotted earlier-wandered over, his hands in his pockets. "How have you been, Alex?" Jon asked.

"Alright," replied the youth. His grey eyes were wary as he studied Jon. "Is that Star? Is Willow here?"

"No," replied Jon smoothly. "She lent me her horse."

Ale studied Jon dubiously. "Star hasn't been trained as a war-horse," he finally said.

"Star is as attuned to me as Darkness," replied Jon. "Willow lent her to me on the condition that I come back with her or not at all."

I lost the rest of the conversation when I slipped away towards the infirmary, making sure not to step in any muddy patches-randomly appearing footprints would give me away as well as shouting in Alex's ear.

~oOo~

"Willow."

I ignored the speaker, hands steady as I sewed a gash in an unconscious man.

"Willow."

"Wait a moment," I replied absently.

Hands entered my vision, taking the needle and thread from me to finish what I'd started. "That will be all Healer Willow. Now get some rest."

I blinked at the words, then looked up into Duke Baird's green eyes. His gaze was calm as he met mine.

"But-" I protested.

"No buts," replied Duke Baird firmly. "You've been here too long. Go get something to eat and some sleep."

With my concentration broken I realised how exhausted I was. I opened my mouth to argue, and swayed.

"Duke Baird took my arm. "It would look very bad on the both of us if you fainted during your time here," he said, his voice and gaze kind. He looked around, and beckoned to someone over my shoulder. "Please escort Healer Willow to her room at the fort. She's done more than enough today." I looked over and realised he spoke to Alanna.

My friend gave me a quick look, then bowed to Duke Baird. "Yes, Your Grace," she said, then took my arm.

"A moment." Alanna paused at the Duke's words. The man studied me. "I need your robe, Healer. I'll return it when it's been cleaned."

I looked up at him, then nodded. Between Alanna and I, we managed to pull off the garment. I was wearing a practical linen shift and skirt underneath. After surrendering my robe to my teacher, I let Alanna lead me from the infirmary, leaning on her shoulder.

"How long was I in there?" I rasped.

"Long enough," replied my red head friend. "You missed lunch."

I blinked at her in the late afternoon sunshine, and opened my mouth. She shook her head at me, her expression one of amused patience. "Plead with me all you like, but I intend to obey the orders of Duke Baird to the letter."

I lifted myself off her arm as I turned to scowl at her, and her smile faded, her gaze shifting over my shoulder. I frowned, taking a step towards her, and the world spun around me.

"Whoa."

Arms wrapped around me, steadying me. When my world stopped spinning, I realised that Alanna wasn't the one who'd caught me.

I looked up slowly, recognising the voice too late, as well as the arms that encircled me.

"I heard rumours that every member of the Royal Family, bar the Queen, came with the troops," remarked the voice. "I came to see if it were true."

"I'm fine," I muttered, pulling away.

"That's not what it looked like."

"I'm fine," I repeated, my voice sharper, and took another step-or a fall. Alex caught me again. "That's definitely not what it looks like," he added, his voice _very_ dry.

"Alex," Alanna interrupted, "you can take her, right?" When Alex nodded warily, she said, "Good, because I'm needed at the infirmary. Thanks."

Alex studied the short red head for a moment before nodding. "I'll see you later Alan."

"Bye Alex," she responded.

Now alone, Alex shifted his arms, steadying me with on while he searched the camp. "Let's go, Princess."

Her half-carried me to his horse, then lifted me onto it in front of him, before heading to the fort, pausing only to collect Star. I protested the whole way. Alex, completely used to it, ignored me. When we reached the fort, I was greeted by another of the people who cared about me.

"Great Mithros, what happened to you?"

_At least, I thought he cared about me._

I mustered up the strength to shoot a glare at my older brother.

"I literally caught her outside the infirmary," replied Alex as a way of explanation. "Alan was escorting her back to the fort. I think she's outdone herself." I gave Alex a dirty look, which he ignored.

Jon's face appeared in my vision as he peered into my eyes, then I heard him snort. "She's definitely outdone herself," he agreed.

"I'm fine," I said, my voice even louder. "Why doesn't anyone believe me?"

Alex chuckled as Jon grinned. "Because everyone knows you're lying, Willow," replied Alex cheerfully. "Come on, let's get you inside.

Once inside the fort, Alex guided me to my rooms, where I was fussed over by a young woman about my age. She was dressed about as simply as I was, in a shift and skirt, both cotton, soft and patched with age. I had a glimpse of gold-brown hair over a pretty face and bright blue eyes, before the girl ushered me into the bathroom. "Stay there," she called to Alex, over her shoulder.

"Oh, I will," replied Alex dryly, sitting down on one of the chairs in my room.

Once inside the bathroom, the girl shut and locked the door. A warm bath had already been prepared, and she stripped me in a business-like fashion before easing me into the tub. She, like Alex, ignored my protests of being able to do it myself as she washed me clean of all the blood and other unnamed things. A good portion of the bath went into washing my hair clean of all the muck. When she finally decided that her efforts were satisfactory, she towelled me dry and dressed me in a white nightgown as briskly as she stripped me, then lifted the other clothes in my hands. "I'll get these washed," she said, then eyed them. "Or maybe they should just be disposed of…"

"I don't have any more," I replied.

She snorted. "There's a whole army here, Lady Willow. We'll find something for you."

She unlocked and opened the door, ushering me over to sit on the bed before shooting Alex a glare. "Be nice, Alex. She's exhausted."

Alex rolled his eyes. "I know how to treat a lady, Amy," he replied with exaggerated patience.

"Humph," replied the girl, who I was just beginning to recognise-_curse my exhaustion for making my brain slow_. "Well, be nice anyway. And make sure she eats all that," she added, pointing. It was only then I realised that there was now a tray of rice and stew in a bowl on the table. To my embarrassment, my stomach growled. The other two were two busy having a staring contest to notice. At last the girl turned away with a snort. "I'll see you two later. Try not to kill eachother," she called over her shoulder as she headed out of the room, leaving the door open-_well shut the door with a Princess and a knight in the same room and there's bound to be stories._

"So, what, may I ask, are you doing here?" inquired Alex after a moment's silence.

"Well you found me at the infirmary. What do you think I've been here for?" I muttered. "Do the math-Jon tells me you're a wizard when it comes to numbers."

Alex raised a brow. "So all that about you lending Star to Jon was a nice polite lie between friends?"

"Between siblings," I corrected him, then sighed. "Jon's always been a terrible liar," I muttered.

"He has at that," snorted Alex. "But you're avoiding the question."

I scowled. "I'm not here for you Tirragen," I snapped. The moment the words left my mouth I slumped in the chair. "I'm sorry Alex," I muttered. "Can you please go away? Before I say something I regret?"

"Too late for that," replied Alex. "Besides, Amelys told me to make sure you ate your food."

"That was your sister? I thought I recognised her," I murmured. "Why is she here?"

"Fief Tirragen is nearby, so she thought she'd pay me a visit and give the people around here a helping hand. She's been helping weave bandages and brew medicines."

"Oh," I murmured, then sighed. "I'm sorry for avoiding you. I just…I didn't come here because you were here. I came because Duke Baird asked me to come, as a healer. I've been working in the infirmary non-stop because they need the help."  
"And to get away from me," added Alex. I nodded, not even bothering to deny his words.

"I came as a healer, not because you were here. In fact, I forgot all about you being here until Jon reminded me."

"Is that why he offered to help you avoid me?" asked Alex.

I nodded again. "He's obviously not very good at it though. Discovered after the first day." I sighed. "I was avoiding you because I didn't know how to approach you. I thought you wanted space. At the same time, I knew that if I were here, I would at least let you know." I scowled and shook my head. "Does that even make sense?"

Alex smiled faintly. "It does to me. It's ok, anyway," he added, "you're terrible at avoiding me."

He grinned when I glared at him.

"Gods I'm starving," I muttered.

"That is what the stew is for," replied Alex, his voice _very_ dry.

"I can't," I snapped.

Alex sighed patiently. Tucking his hand under my chin, he lifted my face so his grey eyes could meet my blue ones. "Do I have to feed you, Willow?"

I jerked away from his gentle touch, hiding the tears that threatened to spill down my cheeks. "Yes," I whispered. "I-I can't get up. I think my legs have turned to jelly."

Alex went still. When I lifted my head, he was studying me. He knew what it had taken me to admit I needed help. I was very proud of being independent, and hated being viewed as a damsel in distress. To Alex's credit, he didn't say anything. He just rose to get the tray, then sat down on the bed next to me, setting the tray on his lap. "This is definitely one way of making sure you eat your food," he remarked. I tried to smile. "Though I wish this could've happened under other circumstances."  
"Me too," I whispered. Alex smiled faintly and lifted a spoonful of stew to my lips.

When I'd finished the food, Alex offered me the cup. I took it in in now-steady hands and managed to drink it without spilling any down my front. It was water flavoured with mint. The moment I finished Alex took the cup with gentle hands. I was so exhausted that I didn't resist. I even murmured, "Thank you."

"Thank you? Who are you and what have you done with the real Willow of Conté?" asked Alex, pretending to be shocked.

"Willow of Conté is right where you left her," I said with a ghost of my usual tartness.

Alex laughed softly. "Oh, there she is." Looking at him, I saw a ghost of the sunny expression that I loved for the first time in the weeks since Alex had headed on border patrol. "I've missed you," I admitted.

Alex smile faded. "It was so much easier back then, wasn't it?" he murmured.

I nodded and yawned, leaning towards him. He put an arm around my shoulder in a hug, pulling me closer so he could drop a kiss on my head. I smiled, snuggling closer. I don't know how long we sat there, afraid of breaking the moment. At last Alex shifted, lifting his arm away. "Off to bed with you, my lady."

I was too sleepy to resist. Instead I let him help me into bed. His hand found mine, and he lifted our fingers, kissing my fingertips. I smiled up at him again. "Good night Alex," I murmured, my eyes already closing.

I felt rather than saw him lean over and brush his lips over my forehead. "Good night, my princess," he whispered.

* * *

**Okay, hopefully sorts it out? Haha, I couldn't leave them hanging of course, that would be cruel! Anyway, what do you think of Amelys so far? I decided to introduce her in the end, and maybe she'll become a more active character as we go along, I'm still planning the next pars of the story so I haven't decided yet xD**

**Hope you liked the way it ended! I thought this was rather cute-it may be one of my favourite moments between the two so far! :)**

**Love MagicalLeaves  
**


	18. A Chess Lesson

**YAY A NEW CHAPTER! It turned out much longer than I thought it would, but oh well. Enjoy!**

* * *

So the war continued. I spent my days in the infirmary, where I gradually improved my stamina. Alanna came to help sometimes. She later told me she hated not sitting around while Jon and the others went to war. I hated it too, but not because I couldn't join them. I hated it because I worried that one day they might not come back whole. My work at the infirmary was interrupted by regular breaks to eat and rest. During those times I mostly ate at the fort. Like Jon, my rank allowed me to share the company of the other war commanders, including my father, while at lunch. During that time I spent no more time in Alex's company than I had to, knowing he still needed his space. Neither of us spoke what had taken place earlier, but I knew it had given him as well as I a lot to think about. I kept a polite distance to my cousin Roger, mostly claiming that I wasn't interested in the campaigns and such that he was conducting. It was true too, but that wasn't why I avoided him. Roger still made me wary.

~oOo~

The latest attack to happen occurred while I was visiting Jon during one of my breaks. The Tusaine men somehow picked off the sentries at the point and mounted a major assault in an attempt to split Jon and the other's from the rest of the army. It was Alanna who got to the sentry and sound the warning horn. Jon went to send to Roger in the fire.

"No," I said firmly. When Jon glanced at me, surprised, I said, "Let me. You have to go now."

"But you don't know how to send to people in the fire," replied Jon, startled.

"It's in that book George gave me," I responded, "I've been reading it during my breaks. It's not that much different from scrying. I'm even going to be using the same medium."

"Roger will be surprised," Jon pointed out.

"I can say that you taught me, as a precaution," I answered. "I know what I'm doing."

Jon studied me., then nodded. I looked up at him, my lips trembling slightly. Jon suddenly hugged me hard. "I promise I won't return on a stretcher," he said, repeating something he'd said to me before we had even come here.  
I managed a smile. "Mithros and Goddess guide you Jon," I whispered. "And the others."

Jon nodded, waiting for me to start a fire, before he pulled on his helm and strode from the tent.

I turned to the fire. It gleamed red-orange. I sat neatly, not bothering to arrange my skirts or anything. Clasping my hands in front of me, I fixed Roger's face in my mind and whispered the required words. Slowly, because it was my first time, the fire turned a sparkling sapphire blue.

"Cousin." Roger's face suddenly appeared. It took all my self-control not to leap away in surprise. _I wasn't about to break a spell that I had just set up!_

"Roger," I replied with a quick nod.

My cousin's brows shot up. "Not the cousin I was expecting," he replied. "How may I be of service?"

I met Roger's gaze in the flame. "Jonathan's camp has come under a major attack by the Tusaine forces. Jon thinks they're trying to separate us from the rest of our army. The assault is concentrated on the point."

Roger nodded sharply. "Very well. I assemble the troops." He tilted his head. "I take it you are going with them?"

"What? No," I replied, so startled that I forgot who I spoke to. "I'm not trained in war magic."

Roger shrugged. "You don't need war magic. As a healer, you have a vast knowledge of the body. Also, thread magic works just as well. It is not so much the discipline that makes a mage's strength than the ability to think creatively, and apply their knowledge to new situations." He rose. "I would talk more, but now is not the time. I must go."

I nodded, and ended the spell. Only then I realised my hands were clenched together so tightly that my knuckles were white. I made a face and relaxed my hands, then sat there for a while to catch my breath.

"Your Highness?"

I looked up. A runner stood at the tent flap. "His Grace Duke Baird sent for me. He has need of you."

I blinked. _How long had I been sitting here like a ninny?_ Inwardly I made a face took a deep breath. With a brief prayer to the Great Mother Goddess, I stood. Maybe She had heard my prayer. Or maybe all those days in the infirmary had really strengthened me. In any case, the room didn't so much as move. I took a moment to make sure that the fire I had used was properly extinguished, before following the runner from the tent.

I learnt in the morning that Alanna had tracked down a friend of hers, Big Thor, and heard his story. He had been on duty that night with Jem Tanner. According to Big Thor, Tanner had knocked him out, blinded him, and fled. Alanna paid dearly for tracking down Big Thor. Because she had used her Gift while injured (she had needed light to find her friend), her strength had been depleted even more than any of us could've imagined. Duke Roger ordered her out of all fighting, and he was backed up by Duke Baird. Alanna was not pleased when I also followed my teacher, but she accepted it. She returned to the infirmary as soon as she was able to help with little tasks that wouldn't require the use of her Gift. As her strength returned, she signed on for sentry.

~oOo~

Myles and I were having a game of chess one very foggy night. The shaggy knight was chuckling at a particularly clever move I had made when a servant burst into the tent uninvited. "Prince Jonathan's unconscious!"

My eyes widened, but Myles cut in before I could say anything. "Start at the beginning," he ordered.

The story spilled from the servant's lips. Apparently, Squire Alan had sentry duty that night. The later shift had discovered only Faithful, sound asleep where my friend's post was. Her partner (who I later learned had been sent by Alanna to find a replacement so he could rest an injured leg) was sound asleep in his tent. Jon, when notified, had probed the cat with his Gift, then collapsed without warning.

It was enough for the pair of us. Abandoning our game, we left the tent immediately at a run.

Once inside Jon's tent I dropped beside him, reaching with my Gift.

"Wait!" Myles cry stopped me. "What ever spell was used affected Jon. You can't do anything."

I rocked back on my heels, mentally using words that I'd learned from Jon, George, and Alanna. Myles was right. The knight grabbed a bucket of water in the corner. Sensing what was about to come next, I scrambled out of the way as Myles drenched boy and cat.

Faithful just rolled over and went back to sleep. Jon stirred, then sat bolt upright. "Sorcery...Sorcery to make the cat sleep..."he whispered. He shot upwards. "Alan's been _kidnapped_? Are you sure?" he demanded, then swayed. I managed to catch him, gritting my teeth with the effort. I may be strong as a healer, but Jon and the others still had a lot of muscle.

The watch captain entered the tent at a run. "Your Highnesses, Sir Myles-we're missing three men along the river-two foot soldiers, Micah and Keel, and-"

"Alan of Trebond," Myles finished grimly.

"Aye, sire," replied the man, taking a sig from his water bottle. "This blasted fog's so thick you can barely see your hand before your face, but we found tracks. The sneaks landed below Micah's post and worked their way to the falls, taking those three. I've got men watching for an attack now, and the camp's on alert."

Faithful got my attention when he suddenly struggled to his feet. I was reaching for him when he shook his fur into wet points, yowled in fury, and dashed out of the tent. We stared after him in amazement.

"Someone knew he'd be on watch with Alan," me brother said, suddenly looking tired and grim. "They laid a magic that would affect Faithful in particular. When I touched him, I went under. They may have taken three, but they _wanted_ Alan. They knew he'd be there with his cat, and they took him. "He grabbed Myles's arm. "Myles, we have to _do_ something! If they find out-"

"Hush, Jonathan!" the knight interrupted. "We'll do all we can."

One of the men cried out. "And that's _nothing_! We're bound here by the stupidest lot of orders ever writ-" He gulped when he remembered that his captain and three nobles were in the tent, but ploughed on. "Saving your presences, Highnesses, my lord, but it's true. Micah and Keel are chums of mine, and Squire Alan saved this eye, not two weeks age, and we can't help them!"

Jonathan smiled tightly. "We'll see, my friend."

"Jon." My voice caught his attention. "The spell-it's just a sleep spell. Chances are whoever cast it bound it to the fog so it would affect all that it touched." I shrugged, looking at him helplessly. "Anybody can do it. Mithros, _I_ can do it. I could probably do it right now on all of you."

Jon nodded, his face still tight. "Thanks Willow." He nodded to Myles "I'm off to the fort. Maybe Roger will have some idea of what's going on."

He left at a run.

Cousin Roger knew about as much as I did, which is to say he had knowledge of the spell, but nothing more. He confirmed my idea of it being a sleep spell, and said that the only possible course of action was to wait for a ransom demand, as the conventions of war dictated.

But there was no response from the Tusaine camp. It was as if last night's events had never happened. Jon returned to his tent where Faithful was keeping vigil, but even after a few hours sleep was up and restlessly pacing the Drell River banks while staring at the other side. I was unable to distract him, and finally, to escape more than anything else, went back to the infirmary and threw myself into the work there until Duke Baird sent me to the fort for supper.

I was playing backgammon in my room with Amelys-we had become very close friends during my stay here-when Roger suddenly burst into the room. The two of us yelped. Roger was startled out of what I could see had been a bright anger. He took a breath, then turned to the pair of us. "I apologise for the entrance. I have received urgent news. Lady Amelys, I require a moment of my cousin's attention."

Amy glanced at me. I nodded. "Of course, cousin," I replied carefully. I wondered what had happened to make Roger lose control to such an extent.

Once alone me dark haired cousin turned to me. "When did you last speak with your brother?" he asked.

"This afternoon," I replied, confused. "I was trying to make him get something to eat, but he ignored me, so I gave up and left."

"You have no idea of his actions since then?" pressed my cousin, leaning in, his eyes burning.  
"No," I replied. "Roger, what's wrong? Has something happened?"

Roger clenched his fists, then let his breath out in a rush of air. "Your brother has taken at least thirty men. They have fired the enemy huts on the north side of their camp."

"What?" I stared at my cousin. Suddenly something clicked. "Alan," I muttered. "He's trying to rescue Alan."

"That's the conclusion I came to as well," replied the man. "Your father has been informed that Jon broke royal command."

"Father won't be pleased," I replied.

Roger scowled. "I thought you'd be with them, so you would've heard at least something about their plans."  
"I only stayed until lunch," I replied. "And Jon would never tell me anything to do with something like this. He knows I would try and stop him-magically if I had to."

Roger sighed. "I know. At least one of you still has sense in your head."

"Are you sending reinforcements to aid them, Cousin?" I wanted to know.

Roger shook his head. "It's the head of any man who crosses the river." He sighed again. "I'm sorry for interrupting the two of you. I didn't think Jon would be capable of such folly."

"It's alright, Cousin," I replied. You're only doing your duty."

When Roger had left, Amy returned, and we continued our game, but this time with a lot more to talk about.

I was woken at midnight by a pounding on the door. Quickly I pulled a robe over my nightgown and answered. The servant almost rapped me on the nose.

"Begging your pardon, Your Highness, but you're required at the meeting."

_Meeting? What meeting?_ I acknowledged the man with a nod, and proceeded to dress, yawning every now and then. Finally in a decent shift and skirt (it was far too impractical to bring any of my gowns, much less wear them) I trotted after the man to the meeting.

It wasn't what I expected. The meeting turned out to be between Father, Jon, Roger and I. I realised that it must have been on Jon's recent actions. Sure enough, Roger gave a report, then Father followed on with a lecture to Jon. I barely paid attention, I was that tired. I wasn't even sure why I was here. I had had no part in whatever had occurred. Finally Father finished, then glanced at me. "Well, what do you think of Jonathan's actions?"

_Great Mother. He wanted me to judge Jon._ I was glad we were all sitting down, otherwise I definitely would've collapsed at his words.

I sighed. "The truth, Father?" When he motioned for me to continue, I said, "I believe that if you hadn't given the royal command you gave, we wouldn't be in this predicament."

"Why?" My father was watching me now. He looked surprised.

I met his gaze. "War is very much the same as chess," I finally replied. "You cannot win by playing defence. That's what you were doing Father. By only defending our bank, you're essentially giving Tusaine the freedom to move however they like. You're restricting yourself by only allowing yourself to play on certain squares."

There was silence. Finally my father sighed. "Vey well. Dismissed." At that Jon and Roger both rose, me a moment behind, my tiredness slowing me down.

In the hallway, I scolded Jon half-heartedly (I was _very_ tired) before demanding the full story. Jon revealed that they had successfully rescued Alanna, and taken King Ain's brothers, Duke Hilam and Count Jemis prisoner. I listened attentively, then slapped him on the side of the head and told him off again, this time more firmly, before tottering off to bed. I thought I would still be nervous, or be kept awake by my thoughts on the meeting. Instead, I fell asleep almost instantly, soothed by the knowledge that Alanna was safe and that the war was over. We were going home.

* * *

**Did you like it? Please read and review! :)  
Love MagicalLeaves **


	19. Skating on Thin Ice

**Sorry for the long period of inactivity. I'm gonna be inactive for a little longer due to end of semester exams coming up. Anyway, here's another chapter. Enjoy :)**

* * *

The first thing I did when I entered my chambers was to dump my bag on the ground and throw myself into my armchair. "Goddess, I'm exhausted," I sighed to nobody (I was alone).

I was curled up when a knock startled me out of the realm between consciousness and sleep. Yawning, I rose to open it.

"Oh, Alex," I murmured, and smiled. "How are you?"

The boy didn't reply. He met my gaze steadily. "May I come in?"

I nodded and moved aside. Alex walked in, pausing to shut the door.

Unease filtered through me. We had shut the door before, but something told me things would be different this time. Carefully Alex met my gaze. "I need to talk to you."

I nodded, suddenly wary.

Alex took a deep breath. "I want us to go back to being friends."

I stared at him. Alex ploughed on. "I can't handle this. It's just...Things have changed. I've thought about things, and I feel that I need to go my own way."

"What are you talking about?" I whispered numbly.

Alex met my gaze steadily. "It's better this way. I care about you, I really do, but...I think we're better off as friends."

"Why?" I stared at the boy who I loved, not knowing what else to say. _Maybe this is a dream. Maybe you've fallen asleep on the chair. Maybe Alex is in fact also getting some rest, and this isn't real. Yeah right._

"Because things have changed. Everything changed. I don't want to come back, and try to find what we once had. It would be too painful if everything collapsed. It's better to just stop now and have the good times to savour."

I finally found my voice. "If that's what you want." My words were a whisper.

"Yes," Alex replied firmly. "It's what I want."

_But it's not what I want._ My argument railed inside me. _I want to fight for what we have. I want to try again. I want to make this work._ Ruthlessly I squashed it down. I could see how much the words were costing Alex. And he was right-it was better to have a friendship than a broken down relationship. Maybe we were too young after all.

"Willow?" Alex's voice made me look up. He was watching me anxiously. "You're...okay, right? We can still be friends?"

I swallowed, fighting myself. "Yes," I said, forcing the whisper past the lump my heart had made in my throat. "We're still friends."

Alex leaned towards me. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Me too," I replied, feeling his lips on my skin for the last time.

I waited until he was long gone before letting the tears fall.

~oOo~

Autumn passed to Winter, and with the snow came the ice. We spent as much of it as possible outdoors, enjoying eachother's company. One rare day when we were all free, Jon decided to get us to go ice-skating.

"Don't be such a ninny."I looked behind me at Alex's voice. He was talking to Alanna as I glided quite happily over the frozen pond. Alex, unaware of my gaze, continued. "Surely you ice-skated at Trebond."

"Not since I was little," replied Alanna, her voice flat. She was eyeing the ice carefully. I wondered what had happened to her to make her so wary around ice-skating, and made a mental note to ask her in private later.

Alex shrugged. "Well, now's the chance to make up for it, and win some gold in the process." Alex had bet her ten gold nobles that Alanna couldn't do one lap without falling. Alanna, noble she was, had accepted.

Carefully she wobbled out onto the ice. Pausing to get her balance, she pushed off, slowly speeding up when she grew more confident. When she paused to fiddle with her skate, Geoffrey and Douglass swooped in behind her and grabbed her arms, shooting down the pond length while she laughed and ordered them to let go. I grinned as I turned the last corner.

"Shoot," I murmured, as I stumbled while coming to a stop. Alex steadied me automatically, then released me quickly. We were still awkward around eachother sometimes, but were quickly adapting to our reformed friendship. I was rather grateful that we'd managed to sort out everything without it turning ugly. Sometimes I wondered if I preferred his friendship to his love. I wasn't really sure anymore, but at least everything was okay between us.

Suddenly cries shattered my reverie. The ice had given way while Alanna had been skating, and she'd fallen in. Everybody sprang into action: the two ladies with us, Gwynnen and Cythera of Elden had pulled off their skates and run for help, while we skated over quickly towards the hole.

Suddenly I caught a glimpse of my friend as her hair appeared in a hole that I had missed. She took a deep gulp of air before going under again. My shout roused the others. When Alanna shot up again, Jon and Raoul hauled her up the rest of the way. "Did someone go for help?" my brother demanded. "Get he-his outer things off!"

"The girls went," replied Gary as he pulled off Alanna's mittens. "Mithros, Alan, you gave us a-Faithful get away from there!"

"What's he doing?" Alanna gasped.

Raoul yanked her boot off, then looked, frowning. "He's licking the ice. C'mon, Alan, let's get you onto dry land."

"Licking the ice?" my friend asked sleepily as she was carried off the pond. The moment she was set down I ordered everyone aside, kneeling next to her. I grasped her wrist, feeling her pulse, then gave her a quick look with my Gift. "Hypothermia," I said, "He needs warm clothes and something hot to drink." Leaning forward, I placed my first two fingers on her neck at her pulse, and let warmth trickle into her. Alanna sighed.

"I don't understand," Alex said, shaking his head. "This pond's been frozen solid for weeks. How-"

"Why do animals lick ice?" my brother asked in an odd tone. He skated out to Faithful, rubbed his ungloved hand near the hole, and licked his palm. "Someone threw salt on this part of the ice," he said slowly. "Look how it's pitted and marked right here."

"Murder," Alex whispered, shocked.

"We can worry about that later," I interrupted. "Right now we need to get Alan inside."

When everybody had gone inside, Alex approached me. "That was well handled," he said quietly.

I glanced at him. "Thanks." I replied.

Alex cocked his head at me. "You've changed."

"How?"I asked, curious now.

The boy studied me. "Usually you're quieter. When you're needed, as a healer, you become more assertive. You take charge." He smiled thoughtfully. "It's a good look on you."

I blinked up at him, not sure how to respond. "Thank you," I finally repeated.

Alex coughed, looking away. "Anyway...we should get inside."

"Yes," I said, grateful for the change of subject. "Come on."

~oOo~

I walked down the hall that afternoon, my head buzzing. Alanna had gone to visit her twin brother Thom in the Mithran Cloisters, where he was studying sorcery. She had taken George with her (or rather, George had taken her. Take your pick).

Pausing outside a door, I knocked, then entered when the door opened.

"Hey Jon, you wanted to talk to me?"

"I did." Jon's voice was calm. "Shut the door behind you, please."

I obeyed, then turned to him. "Why did you want to see me? Is it about Alanna?"

When Jon didn't reply, I sighed. "Jon, you seemed very concerned with her when she fell in the pond. Is there something going on?"

"Yes, but I don't want to talk about me. I want to talk about you."

I blinked at Jon's simple admission and at his words after. "What?"

Jon scowled. "I want to know exactly what happened between you and Alex that resulted in you becoming friends again."

_Mithros's spear._ "It's none of your business Jon," I replied, trying to keep my voice calm. "Alex and I just decided that it was better to stay friends."

Jon frowned. "What aren't you telling me?"

It was my turn to scowl. "Jon, it is business between Alex and I. It is also in the past and we'd like to leave it there."

Jon shook his head stubbornly. "I have a right to know."

"Do I ask for every detail on your dalliances with ladies of the Court?" I demanded. "I let you have your secrets. Let me have mine."

Jon's eyes narrowed. "Would you like to know every detail?"

I gasped. "Jon! Why in the name of the Goddess would I want to know that?"

"Maybe because-" Jon cut himself off, but the damage was done.

"Jonathan of Conté!" I was furious and ashamed. _Of all the things he could've said, this was the worst!_ "It was nothing to do with that! Our relationship, unlike _some_ people I know, is not based on physical...magnetism!"

"And look where that got you," my brother shot back.

_I was wrong. _This_ was the worst thing he could've said to me._

Part of me knew Jon was just looking out for me, and that he'd just been frustrated by my stubbornness. But another part of me was furious-at his poking, at his opinion, at his words. What he'd said slammed into me as easily as if he'd punched me in the stomach.

Before I had gone to the Tusaine War, George, at my private request, had given me a few quick lessons in basic hand-to-hand combat. Several days of training combined with the sudden spilling over of my fury. I didn't realise my fist was clenched until it hit him in the face.

Jon reeled backwards, clutching his nose. His eyes flashed up to me, startled. It was then I also realised that I'd settled into a fighting stance, my arms ready and prepared for a blow.

The door suddenly opened. "Hey Jon! If you're free, Raoul is looking for a backgammon partner, I need to do something else..." Gary's voice trailed off as he and Raoul stared at the bizarre scene before him: Jon leaning against the fireplace, while I loomed before him, my hands up and ready.

I stepped back, lowering my hands. Already I was starting to feel the throb of my knuckles where they'd impacted on Jon's face. I could still remember the satisfying crunch. Looking over at Jon, I saw the thinnest trickle of blood appear between his fingers. _Mithros, I'd really hit him hard,_ I realised. On any other day I would've been proud. Today, I was angry. Boiling mad in fact. I turned slowly to the door.

"Sir Raoul, cousin," I said, my voice clipped and deliberate as I looked at each of them in turn. Neither boy replied. I was still aware of my throbbing hand. I paused, then spoke again without turning round. "Jonathan." My contempt was clear in every syllable.

Then, as calmly as I could, I walked out of the room.

* * *

**Look out guys, this rose has very sharp thorns! I've always wondered, if it ever got nasty between Jon and Willow, who would win? Anyway, I was actually planning for Alex and Willow to break it off, sorry guys :( It also makes for a very sore topic with Jon. Anyway, I'll use it in the future for other things. What other things, you ask? Well you're just gonna have to wait and find out!**

**I know, the book actually says Sacherell not Douglass, but then Raoul and Gary's squires are switched throughout the book (between Douglass and Sacherell), so I'm sticking to what I said earlier (Ch 8) and going with Douglass though it's not what it says in the book. Anyway. I've also mangled the dialogue of that scene a bit to suit me. BUT IT'S NOT MY DIALOGUE. Anyway.**

**Hope you liked it!**

**Love MagicalLeaves**


	20. The Power of the Woman

**Hi guys! **

**Sorry for my long absence! I had exams. Anyway, I was so happy to finish that I went on this huge writing spree...so I'm about to swamp your alerts with a whole lot of stuff. MUAHAHA.**

**So...just a recap for all...  
Alex breaks up with Willow :(  
Alanna falls through the ice and almost drowns. She leaves to meet her brother in the Mithran Cloisters  
An argument between siblings leaves Jon with a bloody nose.**

**What happens now?  
Willow goes to the Lower City for advice...but also finds it in an unlikely place...  
****A rash decision may have terrible consequences...**

* * *

I made it to my chambers and managed to shut the door before I grabbed a cushion and hurled it across the room. I chased it, and began pummelling the cloth, imagining the object as Jon's face.

_Ugh!_

Finally I threw the cushion aside, my eyes sparkling with tears. "I hate you!"

It sounded good, so I spat the words out louder. "I HATE YOU, Jonathan of Conté!"

My fury was met only with silence.

_This is silly. I wasn't getting anything done, and I was still as angry as ever._

Standing up in a quick movement, I crossed to my bedroom. A few moments of rummaging produced what I was looking for-a plain dark cloak, dusty and travel-worn. Quickly I threw it on, fastening the ties, and pulled up the hood. I also snatched a tiger eye from the dresser: a purchase from the Corus markets last week. I'd spent two hours in the library learning the runes that I could enchant the stone with, and I immediately put it to use, turning it over thrice in my hands.

Taking a deep breath, I strode towards the door. I didn't get far-it opened, and Gary and Raoul entered.

I jumped back, thanking the Goddess that I'd activated the spell before leaving my room. The boys looked around in surprise. "Where is she?" Raoul asked.

"Beats me," shrugged Gary, "but she must really be angry-she forgot to lock her door." He crossed over to my bedroom, knocking on that door. "Willow? It's us."

The door was still wide open. I seized the opportunity, slipping through it into the hallway, where I padded away in search of a friend.

~oOo~

I waited until I was in a deserted alley before lifting the spell. I slipped the stone into my pocket, then stepped out of the alley, keeping my hood up-I wanted to remain unnoticed for as long as possible. I walked down the street, keeping to the side to avoid carts and horses, ignoring the noises and people around me. _As long as I acted like I belonged here, everything should be fine._

Finally, I reached my destination: a door marked with a healer's sign. Calmly I knocked, then entered when the woman on the other side let me in.

"Now, how can I help you?" asked the woman, smiling kindly at me. I pushed the hood back, revealing my face. "Hello," I said to Eleni Cooper.

A surprised look crossed Mistress Cooper's face before she smiled again. "Why hello, Willow. Or are you Willa today?"

"I'd prefer to be called Willa in the Lower City, Mistress Cooper."

"Very well," replied the woman. "Now, what can I do for you?"

"I was hoping you could help me," I replied slowly. "I got into a fight with Johnny."

"Really? What about?"

The story spilled from my lips in a muddle. "And then he said, well, he implied that our relationship was just-" I blushed deeply.

Eleni Cooper was a quick woman. "I see."

"I said to him that our relationship wasn't based on physical attraction, and he said that look at how well it had turned out for me."

"What is it that has made you so distressed? I thought you would be angry," remarked the woman slowly. She knew me far too well.

I raised my hands to my face, which was hot with embarrassment. "I punched him. In the nose." My voice came out muffled.

Mistress Cooper sat down. "Ah. That might just do it."

I lowered my hands. "I've never been so angry at him," I confessed. "He's never said anything like this to me! He's so-" I broke off with a frustrated noise. Mistress Cooper waited for me to calm down. When I did, I continued in a calmer voice. "The thing is, I don't know if he's right or not. I don't know what to think. I'm just so confused."

"Why haven't you gone to Alan on this?" Mistress Cooper finally asked. "I know the two of you are close." She stopped, then sighed. "I'd forgotten. He's gone to the City of the Gods with George." She smiled ruefully. "I must be getting old." She stood, getting out some cakes and tea, which she placed on the table. I sipped it nervously, but was too on edge to eat anything.

"Unfortunately, every boy goes through a stage where they have love-making on the brain," the woman finally said. "It's just in their natures. Now, as to your predicament…well, I support you. Sometimes you must hit a man on the head to get his attention." She lifted her cup to her lips.

My eyes widened. "You think I'm right?" I demanded, shocked.

Mistress Cooper's hazel eyes met mine over the rim of her cup. She sipped, then lowered her tea. "Everybody is entitled to their secrets. Some things are the business of the individual alone, and only they may decide who to tell. Johnny has no right to demand every secret you hold, whatever relationship you two have. Neither has he the right to insult you as such. It is a shameful thing to lose one's temper. That goes for you too-" at this I blushed deeply "-but considering the circumstances, your reaction is well justified. I think it's time to tell your brother that you are not a child anymore."

"I've tried that before," I replied, sighing.

"Maybe," replied Mistress Cooper. "But now, you've been through your first relationship, participated in a war, and healed through an epidemic. You might also want to remind Johnny that you were one of the healers who saved him from the Sweating Sickness. If all else fails, you can at least use that as a favour to call him out on." She paused. "Where was I? Oh, right. What I mean, is that you have completed trials that are worthy of allowing you into the ranks of adults, however young you may be. He needs to know that."

"I'll tell him, but who's to say he'll hear me?" I replied darkly.

"Then his fear over seeing you grow up is clouding his vision," said Mistress Cooper. I blinked at the words. George's mother smiled. "I have a son. I once worried about him in the same way. Now that he's older, I can only admire that he has gotten himself this far."

The bell tolled, startling me out of our discussion. "Goddess, have I been here that long?" I gasped, springing to my feet. "I have to get back before they start combing the city!"

Mistress Cooper chuckled, rising. I helped her stack the dishes, then turned towards the door, lifting my hood back over my head. "Thank you," I said to George's mother. "Goddess bless you each and every day."

"And you too my dear," replied Mistress Cooper as I raced out the door. "And you too."

~oOo~

Heading up the street at a brisk walk, I entered the Temple District. I turned down into Palace Way, the quickest route home, which passed by the Temple of the Great Mother Goddess. On a whim, I turned, walking inside. I knew men were forbidden from stepping on these grounds, so if Gary, Raoul, or Jon came looking for me, they would not find me. That was fine by me. I needed a place to think and mull over the things Mistress Cooper had told me.

I didn't know how long I sat on one of the benches, staring at the altar, but the next thing I knew was that a priestess was shaking my shoulder. I blinked up into her face. "You've been here for just over an hour," the woman informed me. "yet you haven't stirred to ask for aid or made any movement at all. I was wondering if everything was alright."

"Oh!" I said, startled. "Have I really been here that long? Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. I'm fine. I just needed a good place to think, Honoured Sister."

The priestess inclined her head. I was struck with a sudden urge to tell her everything.

"My brother, he's been really overprotective of me lately, and we just got into a fight. He wants to know my every action, but I won't tell him. I don't…well, my relationship with my sweetheart didn't go so well, and now my brother watches me harder than ever. I lost my temper over that and ran away for a while to be alone." I looked the woman in the eyes. "Sister, am I in the wrong for yelling and leaving? Should I go back? But he's not in the right either."

The priestess sat down next to me, taking my hands in her own. I realised then that she was younger than I'd first thought-perhaps in her late 20s. "You brother looks out for you, but he is in the wrong. A woman's exact business is her own, including where she chooses to go and who she chooses to be with. Perhaps you could remind your brother that you are not as powerless as he thinks you are-after all, without a woman a man wouldn't have an heir. Who would sew the man's clothes, or prepare his bath and meal when he arrives home? And what of these woman here, who guard this sacred temple? Are they powerless too? Or the hedgewitches and Gift-wielders, who can bring down soldiers with their knowledge of magic?" The woman patted my hand gently before letting go. "There are a great variety of women in this realm, and each is strong in her own way."

I looked up at her. "Thank you, Honoured Sister. May the Mother bless you," I whispered, deeply moved by her words. Suddenly I felt better.

The priestess rose. "She already has, daughter, but I thank you all the same," she replied. Smiling, she walked away.

I sat for a few more minutes, thinking. Then at last, I rose, leaving an offering of gold nobles at the altar. "You were smiling on me when Alanna introduced me to George and his mother, and I thank you," I whispered.

The breeze rustled through the temple as I walked out. _No, thank you, Willow of Conté,_ a voice seemed to say. I looked back for a moment, and smiled.

~oOo~

I was in trouble for my disappearance. I had been gone for two and a half hours. I paid for it-I was summoned to my parents' rooms the moment I got back to my own room.

Thankfully, Jonathan wasn't there. Mother and Father had already spoken to him privately. So I was alone with my parents as my Father studied me for a long time.

Finally, he sighed. "I've spoken to your brother, and he has given me his version of events. He claims he was only trying to help, but you appeared to overreact and then disappear."

I opened my mouth. "Father, I-"

My father raised a hand. "I think I know enough about my daughter to know that she wouldn't get this upset unless something was truly serious. What exactly did Jonathan do?"

I sighed, shaking my head. "It's just things we said. It got out of control, and we both lost our tempers."

"I gathered as much." My father paused, tilting his head before adding, "You punched him quite hard. His nose was still red when he spoke to us."

I went a deep crimson. "I may be sorry for losing my temper," I finally muttered, "but I don't regret that blow. A friend of mine once said that sometimes you must hit a man on the head to get his attention."

"Well," said Father, rising, "if that is all that happened, then we are done here. "

"You're not punishing me?" I demanded, shocked.

"I would reprimand you, daughter, but I have a feeling that your brother may be more deserving of it than you are."

"No Father." The words were out before I could stop them. Father raised a brow. "I mean, I want to sort it out myself."

"If that is your will," replied my father. When I nodded, he sighed. "Then I must go."

He walked out of the room, and suddenly I could breathe again. It was only then I realised he hadn't questioned me at all about my absence.

"Well, that was a mess," remarked my mother. She patted the now empty chair next to her. I sat, fidgeting. "I would like to hear it from your own lips, though."

The words spilled out again. Because she was my mother, I just told the story, without embellishing or sugarcoating, stopping after I walked out on Jon.

My mother sighed. "Your brother is arrogant sometimes. Always thinking that he knows best for you. He may be your brother, but that behaviour is nothing short of what any frustrated boy would say. He's at that age where all he can think of is girls, and he probably thinks the same applies to you when it comes to boys."

"Mother!" I gasped at the implication.

My mother raised a brow. "It's true. I was young once, I spent enough time at Court to know that all boys, or men, as they like to call themselves, go through a stage of seeing women as only pleasure. What your brother has forgotten, however, is that you are a woman, and thus would view such things differently." She shrugged. "What has been said can't be unsaid. Just don't let it poison you relationship with him." She kissed me on the cheek, then rose. "Duke Baird was looking for you." Smiling gently, she swept from the room, leaving me with a lot to think about.

~oOo~

I found Duke Baird in the infirmary, this time writing up a report. "Ah, Willow, there you are. Have you sorted out everything by now?"

I sighed. "If we didn't have any gossip, the walls of the palace would fall in," I complained.

My teacher chuckled, then sobered. "I've taught you all that I think you should know. Normally, you would be apprenticed to a qualified healer, sent to villages and such to learn under actual situations, but that is not much use as you've participated in an epidemic and a war already. Technically, you have the experience of a qualified healer. All you need to do is earn your credentials."

My eyes widened. "And how do I do that?"

The duke finished his report and put his pen down. He studied me for a long moment. "There are two ways to gain your credentials as a healer," he said finally. "One is to take a series of tests that healers have set for you, in public eye." I scowled at the thought. By 'public eye', Duke Baird meant in front of the Healer's Council, and probably in front of…well, anybody who would be allowed to attend. I disliked such a situation. It made me feel like a bird in a gilded cage.

"The other method, is to enter the Chamber of Ordeal."

My mouth dropped. "You enter the Chamber?" My voice came out in a whisper.

"It is not the same as trying for knighthood," said Duke Baird. "There is no Sacramental Bath, however, there is a period where the entrant must contemplate the life they are about to enter. You would be tested in various ways-I cannot say how."  
"Did you enter the Chamber?" the words burst from me unbidden.

"No," replied the man. "I took the prepared tests. Passed with flying colours."

_I didn't want to take tests in front of everyone,_ I realised. _I wanted to be alone, to think, not to be watched from every angle. And if I decide now, I don't have to wait and squirm while those tests are prepared. _I met Duke Baird's gaze. "I'll take the Chamber."

The man's brows rose, but he didn't comment, instead, he said, "Would you like me to inform anyone?" At my confusion, he said, "you are allowed some people to wait for you outside."

I considered it. "No. Just you."

He nodded. "Like the Ordeal of Knighthood, you will keep vigil in Chapel of the Ordeal until dawn, when you will enter the Chamber. Whatever happens, you must endure in silence. When you leave, you'll be qualified as a Healer of the Realm."

_When_. _He believed that much in me,_ I realised. My mouth went dry. "Ok. When does it start?"

"I assume you want to get it over as soon as possible?" Asked my mentor. When I nodded, he continued, "How about tonight?"

* * *

**Okay, something Eleni said doesn't belong to me-I stole it from the Protector of the Small series, also by Tamora Pierce. But it fit :) If you find it, you can have a virtual cookie xD**

**Willow hasn't yet truly realised that her father may understand her more than she thought :)**

**Anyway. Anything else that is familiar doesn't belong to me. I made up the Healer's Ordeal as well. What? There's an Ordeal of Knighthood and an Ordeal of Sorcery, so I thought there should be an Ordeal of Healing as well xD**

**Well. Can't think of anything else to say, so hope you enjoyed it!**

**This will be Willow's hardest challenge yet!**

**~ MagicalLeaves**


	21. Willow's Ordeal

**And so it begins.**

* * *

Duke Baird made sure I ate something before my own tests (I _refused_ to think of it as the Ordeal). Afterwards, I changed into plain white clothes with an equally plain white robe over the top-clothes for what was to come. I emerged from my bedchamber, sitting down opposite Duke Baird, where he then instructed me, reminding me of my duty to others as a healer and how I should behave. Then we lapsed into silence, each adrift on their own thoughts. Finally, he rose. "It's time."

I rose automatically when he did, my mouth dry already. I met his gaze and saw his calm expression. It was the expression he wore in the hospital wing, and in infirmary during the Tusaine war. It was one of calm, even if everything around you is comparable to the Chaos Realms. The very sight of it sent strength through me, and enabled me to follow him out the door.

Once outside, we put our hoods up, not so much because tradition dictated it as to avoid being recognised-nobody knew what I was about to do. Then Duke Baird led the way to the Chapel of the Ordeal.

When we entered, he placed a hand on my shoulder, sliding his hood off. I looked up into his face as I removed mine. "Remember, you must not make a sound," he reminded me.

Impulsively I hugged him, blinking back tears. "Thank you," I whispered. "For everything."

"Thank me after," replied the duke, smiling. He hugged me back briefly, before leaving the Chapel.

Carefully I sat next to a Mithran priest-they were the only ones who had been informed of what was transpiring. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes. I didn't sleep. Instead, I considered everything that had happened to get me this far. I was startled to realise that I didn't mind if I couldn't heal normal people anymore. It was well known throughout Corus that I had accompanied Father and Jonathan to the Tusaine War-George told me that my choices had taught others women that they could be strong. I realised, that even if I couldn't heal the common folk, I would still be a beacon to them. _And isn't that what I'd always wanted? To be truly seen as an image of hope, not just a pretty lady with a crown?_ I wasn't sure anymore, but I definitely preferred the beacon to the crown!

"Your Highness." My mind, which had been drifting, jolted. I blinked, and realised that soft light was filtering in through the window-dawn had come. The door to the Chamber was open. For a moment I wanted to scream and run from the room, never looking back. _That's not what Jon did._ The whisper slithered through my mind, unbidden, and I started as another thought occurred to me: _Was I doing this because I wanted to prove something to Jonathan?_ I hoped not. If so, I could get myself terribly injured, and all over a stupid spat. Suddenly I wished that Jonathan was here. But I hadn't told anybody what I was doing, because I wanted to do it by myself. _Idiot. Pride is your downfall._

_Shut up,_ responded another part of my brain.

I walked inside before I lost my nerve.

The big iron door clanged shut behind me.

* * *

_I stood in an infirmary, the surroundings vaguely familiar-yet the more I tried to recall them, the further away from me they slid. Around me I heard groans and noises from the injured and dying. And over the top of it all was the smell of fresh blood, the stench so strong it stuck to the back of my throat. I had raised a hand to my mouth automatically before I stopped myself._ This isn't real, I reminded my self. This is the Chamber testing you. And even if it was real, a healer would never shrink from the smell of blood!

As if the Chamber had heard my thoughts-Mithros and Goddess, it probably had-_a sudden sound cut through me. I turned slowly, recognising the voice, feeling a dull blow to the stomach._

_A person lay on the bed furthest away. I made my way to them, trembling, recognising even from this distance the coal-black hair and sharp nose. Their eyes-which would've been blue had they been open-were tightly shut in a face slack in unconsciousness. Time seemed to slow as I walked. It felt like hours before I reached the bed._

_I looked down into the features of my older brother._

"_He took a head wound during the latest battle, Your Highness, and hasn't woken up since," spoke a healer next to me. They watched me anxiously while I inspected Jon._

He probably had a bad concussion, especially considering that wound, _I realised with a shudder._ And it was a bad sign if he hadn't woken up since.

_As if Jon sensed my approach, he moaned in his sleep, muttering lightly. I reached a hand towards him automatically, placing it on his forehead, preparing to inspect him with my Gift._

"_Out of the way!" Shouts and chaos momentarily reigned before a soldier appeared in front of me, wiping sweat from his face. "Your Highness, he was injured in the latest skirmish. If you want to save him, you need to do so now!"_

_Though I knew I shouldn't, I looked._

Mithros and Goddess. This was my test.

* * *

**DUN DUN DUN...**

**Don't you guys just love cliffhangers *evil grin***

**~ MagicalLeaves **


	22. From a Child's Point of View

**The Ordeal reveals the best and worst of you. This is Willow's test...and she may not succeed...**

* * *

_Alexander of Tirragen lay on the opposite bed now. His eyes flickered open._

"_Hey." The word was soft, his eyes silvery pools._

_I stared mutely at the boy, my eyes taking in the deep stab wound to his side. He tried to sit up, then winced, his face pale with blood loss and pain._

_It was only as I reached for him that I realised that I was only strong enough to heal one._

_The world seemed to recede for a moment._ No. Not this. Goddess, anything but this. _It had been my greatest fear that I would have to choose who among the people I loved to save, and who would die. That I would be helpless, for I had the skill but not the strength._ Was this what the Chamber did? Made us live out our worst fears? Why?

_I opened my mouth to rail at the ghastly device, then clamped it shut. _I must not speak during my Ordeal!

_Slowly, I turned back to the scene in front of me._

Jon was the Crown Prince. I had to save him.

No! _Cried another voice inside of me_. Alex! Save him. You love him!

_I started at those thoughts._ I loved Alex? Loved him? Until then, I had no idea of what he'd meant to me. _My eyes burned with tears, but I squashed them ruthlessly._ No. I would _not_ cry.

Jon must live to rule!

You can be heir if he dies! There can be another ruler to Tortall! There will never be another Alex.

_At those words, I almost gasped aloud. Only the knowledge that I must remain soundless while in here stopped me. _Did I really believe that?

It didn't matter, _I realised._ It didn't matter that Alex was alive, that he had a better chance of surviving, that I loved him. Jonathan was heir to the throne.

_I turned away from Alex, my heart shattering, and prayed silently that he would forgive me one day. I took a breath, placed a hand on Jon's head and flooded him with my Gift._

_I felt the tiniest flicker, and latched onto it, feeding the embers with my magic, hoping to coax a flame out of the ashes. I was rewarded with the tiniest of sparks._

_As I worked, I felt sweat pop along the ridges of my spine. It was then I realised that I may not be able to save Jon._

There is still time, _that tempting voice_ _persisted._ You can still turn back. Alex will be saved. Jon would understand.

_At those lying, terrible words, I felt a blaze sweep through me._

Think! _Cried the voice._ Think about what Jon said to you just before! He doesn't care about you. He doesn't understand how you feel! Alex does. He is more worthy of you!

_I threw my sudden fury into my task, burning my Gift through Jon, praying he would wake._ It didn't matter if Jon didn't care. It didn't matter if Jon didn't understand. He was my brother. That was enough. It was always enough.

_It was not enough. I felt someone grab hold of me, pulling me back. Another fire latched onto me, wrapping around me in a glittering wall, even as the tiny spark slipped from my grasp and fluttered into the abyss._

_My eyes flew open._

_Jon lay on the bed, his lips bloodless, his face peaceful in death. I bit my lip so hard it bled, even as others around me made the Sign against evil. _

"_I'm sorry, but you can't save him. He's too far gone. You must let him go." I tried to uselessly fight against the healer who'd pulled me back. "We can't lose you Princess-you're the heir."_

_I tried again to fight my way free. I_t was another of my fears, that I would be always seen for the crown on my head, as another step closer to the throne. That I would never be seen as Willow. Smart Willow. Willow who played the flute. Willow who used to dance through the hallways. Just an unnamed Princess, naught good for anything but marriage.

"_Willow."_

_The healer let go. I turned, uselessly fighting again, this time with myself. I fought, knowing it was hopeless, knowing I was no longer in control. My body had betrayed me._

_Alex stared up at me, his haunted eyes full of pain. "You're too good for me," he whispered._

_I reached for his hand uselessly. That one action threw me-I was burnt out from my desperate attempt to save Jon. I collapsed on the jelly that was once my legs. Even as I fell, I saw Alex's eyes slide shut. "I love you." The whispered words burned into my brain._

_I scrambled to my feet, my mouth opening in a silent scream. I lurched forward, slamming into a barrier. Still howling silently, I pounded on the wall as I watched Alex die._

Willow of Tortall. _The words sprang again from my memories, branding themselves in my vision in fiery letters. _Your love for others will be your biggest strength, but also your greatest weakness. _The words rang with truth and strength._

Light filled the Chamber, which was suddenly just a deceiving grey stone room. It streamed in through the open door. It was over.

_Oh gods. I don't care what or who I did it for, whether to prove something, or to actually help people-I just want to get out of here._ I stumbled out of the Chamber, sweat and tears mingling on my face. My clenched hands were bruised and a little bloody, and my lip bled sluggishly from where I'd bitten it to keep from screaming.

Somebody caught me. "Mithros, you're alright!"

I looked up into sapphire eyes. "How did you do it?" I rasped, my voice shaky. "How can you bear it after all these years?"

Jon's own eyes were overbright. "I have good friends," he replied, "and a very loving sister. But if you ever do that again, though…Mithros help me, I'll-"

"Don't worry," I replied, my voice scratchy, "I only had to do it once, and I just did." I shut my eyes and sagged against him, exhausted. Jon's arms tightened around me.

I hadn't realised I was still crying until I felt Jon swipe my cheeks with his handkerchief. "You're off to bed, Mistress Healer," he ordered, "we'll talk more in the morning."

~oOo~

I woke slowly. I had a vague recollection of someone bandaging my hands and wiping my face before tucking me into bed. Carefully I blinked, then checked myself. I _seemed_ to be okay…as okay as anybody who's lived through the Ordeal. I shuddered. I could see now why so many healers-to-be took the public tests, though now that I thought of it, I would still face the Chamber any day. I shook my head, making it swim. _I was _so_ odd._

Moving through my room, I changed into a simple blue gown and put my hair in some form of order before leaving my bedroom.

Jon rose as I exited. He'd been sitting in the room, waiting for me. I paused, unsure of where we stood, then sat down on a chair that was facing him. My legs still trembled lightly from my experience.

Jon nodded to something that had been folded neatly and placed on the side table. "Duke Baird came and dropped that off earlier. He said that as a qualified healer, your robes are now your responsibility. He sends his congratulations, and says he knew you could do it." As I ran my fingers over the plain cotton, he added, "and I would like to talk to you."

He shifted nervously, shooting glances around the room. It was then I realised we weren't alone-Gary also sat in another chair. He said nothing, just nodded when I glanced at him.

"What did you want to say?" I spoke carefully, but my voice seemed to have recovered.

Jon took a deep breath. "I've been informed by Father, Mother, and Gary, that my actions were rash and you have the right to your own secrets. I've also been informed that my behaviour was unacceptable." He paused again, steeling himself. "I apologise for my harsh words yesterday. I didn't want to upset you. I apologise for prying. I just cared about you."

I chose my words carefully as I spoke. "I'm not a child anymore Jon-what happened just now proved that. I've been in an epidemic, healed during a war, liked someone, and suffered through the Ordeal. I'm an adult now. I can take care of myself."

"I know." Jon's voice was heavy. "But you'll always be my little sister."

"_Younger_ sister," I corrected him. "And only by three years."

Jon rubbed his head. "I'm sorry for saying what I did about you and Alex. I accept that you two have returned to friendship. I may not like it, but I accept it. I'll get over it eventually. Everybody has to go through their first relationship. It helps them for their second."

"And their third?" I asked shrewdly. "And their fourth, fifth, and however long one's searching may go on for," my brother finished.

"I accept your apology. However, I cannot forgive you. Not yet." When Jon opened his mouth, I held up a hand. "Just listen." What I said next was not carefully chosen-I spoke from the heart, spilling my emotions out for him to see. "The things you said that day-you made me feel unheard and small. You made me doubt myself. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is, when you repeat yourself every few years-and still aren't heard? Of course not. You're male. It's different for you." The last words were bitter, but I just ploughed on regardless. He had to know how I felt. "You made me doubt, not just myself, but Alex also. Every last memory we had, every kiss, every moment together, tainted, because I hesitated for a moment over us. You did that with your arrogance and unkind words. I doubted my ability and my confidence, because you refused to see things my way. You insisted your way was better."

"I never-" Jon began, but I waved my hand, cutting him off.

"Oh, you may have never said it aloud, but don't tell me that you've never acted as if you're older, and therefore wiser, than me, so I should do what you say." Jon's answer was in his silence. "You've been treating me like a child, and now I feel like one sometimes. Not young, and carefree. But tiny. Ignored. Seen, not heard. Forgotten. Do you have any idea how that feels?" My voice was hoarse again, but I wasn't sure if it was the talking, or from the tears that had begun to slide down my face. I glared at Jon, wanting him to see the emotions burning in my heart and soul. "I will always be your younger sister. Nothing will ever change that. But I've grown now, much like you have Jonathan. I'm an adult now. It's time you noticed, and accepted that."

Jon was silent. "I have wronged you." His words were full of sorrow and pain. He got off his chair to kneel next to me, taking my hand and gazing up into my face. A minute part of me that wasn't churning with emotions was startled by his actions. _He must really want this to work._ "Is there a way to help you forgive me?"

"You cannot fix this Jon." My voice had softened now. I couldn't help it-Jon was truly haunted by his actions. I'd told him just how many people he'd hurt: not just me, but Alex as well, and called our very friendship into question too. "Only time will heal this."

Jon said nothing. At last he nodded, his face tight with guilt and squeezed my hand. Rising, he crossed to the door. "I'll see you later. Congratulations." He paused again, fighting himself. At last, "I really am sorry." Then he was gone.

"I know," I whispered to the empty air.

Gary finally spoke up. "Well." He shifted on his seat. "That was easier than I thought it would be."

"Why are you here? How did you know?"

Gary shrugged. "Jon told me, and Raoul. He wanted me to be here when you woke up, I suspect to stop him losing control of himself again. So he could talk to you properly."

"Where is Raoul anyway? You two are usually joined at the hip."

"He knows about your activities, but he declined to sit in on this. He didn't want to get in the way of things, especially considering he's already had a taste of your temper."

I smiled crookedly, reaching over to take his hand. "Thanks for being here Gary. It helped me too."

Gary squeezed my hand before releasing it. "You're welcome. Jon can be a prig sometimes, and the only person who can ever get away with telling him that is you. The last time I tried, he put something squishy in my bed."

I snorted, as he'd wanted me too.

Gary rose. "Well, I'm off now, so if that's all. Unless you want someone to sit with for a while."

I shook my head. "I'd like to be alone," I replied. "In fact, I think I'm going to go back to sleep."

Gary grinned. "Good idea. If I hadn't had the Ceremony of Knighthood after my Ordeal I would've slept all through to the next day. Personally, I think they schedule it to see if any new knights faint in front of the public." He winked at me.

I only smiled-I was _that_ exhausted. "Bye Gary," I said rising. "I'll see you later."

"I'll hold you to that, Lady Healer," replied my cousin, giving me a brisk hug before leaving the room.

Finally alone, I locked the door, then went straight to bed.

* * *

**So. It is over. Has Willow succeeded? Or failed? You decide.**

**~ MagicalLeaves**


	23. Scars

**Willow is about to find out that the Ordeal leaves scars...  
For while some appear to be healing, others are still as fresh as the day the wounds appeared...**

* * *

I jerked awake with a gasp. Even then my dream still burned in my vision. I floundered in my sheets, falling out of bed. At least I wasn't trapped in the linen anymore.

I lay on the carpet, sucking in huge gulps of air as the tears silently streamed down my face. As I stared unseeingly at the ceiling, I wondered how long I would suffer all this. I wondered how long Jon had suffered after his Ordeal.

After a long long time of staring, I finally steeled myself to get up. Moving into my bathroom, I made a split-second decision. Not caring that it was a waste if my Gift, I conjured warm water for the tub, and soaked myself for a very long time.

After thoughts of drowning myself had long gone, I rose out of the cold liquid, drying myself off with a towel. I changed into a suitable day gown, and left my bedroom.

Jon again was there. "I thought you might be hungry," he muttered, nodding at a tray. On it sat a steaming plate of food. He wasn't trying to suck up, but actually was concerned, even after how yesterday's discussion had gone. Touched, I picked up the tray. It was only when the aroma wafted to my nose that I realised how hungry I was. Snatching up utensils, I began to eat, but not too fast-I wasn't interested in throwing it all up again. Between mouthfuls, I looked up at my older brother. "Thank you," I said, letting him see I was truly touched by his gesture.

Jon nodded, then rose. "I'll see you later," he said softly, and exited, leaving me in peace.

I was still eating when footsteps pounded down the hallway. The door flew open. I jumped, though luckily I managed not to spill my meal.

A brown haired youth stood in the doorway, chest heaving. His gaze was terrified.

"Mithros." The boy staggered inside, dropping to his knees in front of me. He grabbed my free hand, pressing it to his cheek. "I heard that you had woken up," he said, panting. "Jon told me, that you had you Healer's Ordeal yesterday." He looked up, anguish in his gaze. "You didn't tell me!"

I bit my lip. _Alex still cared. Goddess help him, and me._ Carefully, I extracted my hand from his grip. He seemed to realise then what he was doing, and flushed beautifully. Quickly yanking his hand back, he dropped into another chair.

I tried not to let the dark blush affect me. Though it was hard to ignore the longing that rose up inside me at the sight of him. _Goddess, I missed him._

"I didn't tell anybody, Alex." My voice didn't shake, of which I was grateful. "Not even Jon. I don't know how he found out. I wanted to do it alone."

"I don't care if you didn't want to worry us," replied Alex, still panting slightly. "You terrified me."

I looked into his eyes, gently reminding him with my gaze that we were only friends now. Sometimes Alex (and me too) had difficulty remembering. He looked away, that beautiful flush rising again. I remembered how he'd looked like that the last time we'd kissed-

_Stop!_

Judging from the look on Alex's face, his thoughts were pretty much in line with mine. His blush deepened, and he stood abruptly. "I should go."

I placed the now-empty tray aside and stood. "Alex, I'm sorry for scaring you." The words rose on light wings in the room.

Alex sighed, shaking his head. "It's okay. I'm sure you were worried when I had my Ordeal. I guess that makes us even."

_Not really. We were just friends back then. It's completely different._ The words rippled through my mind, but I nodded instead. "We're even," I echoed.

Alex left quickly before either of us got uncomfortable. At least his blush had gone-imagine he questions if he'd left my quarters looking like that…

I shoved away the thought, knowing exactly where that would lead, but it was too late. I sagged in my chair and began to cry softly, my heart shattering all over again. The memories hadn't been tainted, but they were a curse all the same.

The hardest part is the dreams.  
The hardest part is the memories.  
The hardest part is letting go.

* * *

**:(**

**~ MagicalLeaves**


	24. Climbing Trees

**Willow and Alanna exchange much needed advice...  
Willow also discovers that some flames take a long time to die... **

* * *

On the morning of Alanna's birthday Jon and the others left at an obscenely early hour to celebrate and give her gifts. I stayed in bed-it would've raised quite a few brows if I went with them. I wasn't too fussed-I'd already seen the gifts they'd all gotten for her, and I had purchased one of my own that I would give to her in private.

I saw her at a much later hour in her room privately.

"Happy birthday, Alanna," I said, handing her my gift-a small box of some sort. She scowled at me, an expression that she'd one day be famous for. I just laughed. "Open it!"

"I wanted to give it to you with the others, but I thought it might raise a few brows," I explained, as she lifted out an opal necklace on a silver chain and matching ear drops. I smiled. "I thought you might like them."

Alanna smiled crookedly. "Thanks." She slipped my gift back into the box.

"On that note, have you decided when you're going to tell everyone?"

Alanna sighed. "I have to have to knights to instruct me in the Code of Chivalry when I take the Sacramental Bath." Seeing the look on my face, she said sharply, "Not during! Goddess have mercy Willow!" She placed the box on a nearby table. "So, whoever that second knight is will know by my Ordeal."

"Then I suggest you tell Gary or Raoul," I replied. "Or maybe even Myles," I added as an afterthought, "he likes you too."

A frown crossed my friend's face. "What's wrong?" I asked.

Alanna sighed. "It's just, they got all these wonderful things for me, and they've been my friends so long but I feel like a fraud," she confessed.

"Because you're a girl?" I asked.

"Well, it's not because I'm a girl and they're guys. Well actually it is. Ugh." She ran her hand through her hair. "What I mean is that I've been hiding the truth from them. I've been lying to them. I feel so terrible."

I snorted. "That's just like you Alanna, feeling that way. Don't judge yourself on who you are, but on what you have done. The others will love you, girl or not. You are as much a knight as Jon is." I paused, hesitating, then plunged in. "Speaking of Jon, is there something going on between the two of you? He mentioned something of the sort to me in one of our conversations."

Alanna blushed lightly. I grinned. "I'm not angry. It's about time Jon settled down instead of just cavorting around the Court."

"Cavorting-" Alanna began to giggle, then roar with laughter. I joined in.

When we had calmed down, she asked, "So everything's alright between you two?"

I shrugged. "I told him it would heal over time. I thought there would be a day when I would wake up and decide to forgive him, but it did actually just heal over time, just gradually. I don't know when I actually forgave him. It just…happened."

Alanna nodded. "Well, I'm glad. You two were always too stubborn. Always butting heads."

"Who's side are you on?" I asked, pretending to sound hurt.

Alanna rolled her eyes at me. "Yours, if my explosion at him will remind you."

I chuckled at the memory. Alanna had returned after my Ordeal when the whole thing had blown over, but when she'd found out…Well, let's just say that she forgave him soon enough.

"Everything is okay between you and Alex, right?" started Alanna suddenly, watching me carefully.

I blinked. "I don't know," I replied honestly. "It's like everything's changed, yet it's still the same." I sighed, suddenly on the verge of tears. "I'm terrified of moving on," I confessed, "because I'm scared that there will be nobody else like him." I lifted my legs so my feet were perched on the chair as well, wrapping my arms around my knees. "I'm scared that I'll always be seen for the crown on my head. Nobody will ever see me like Alex does."

Alanna snorted. "Nonsense." She met my gaze. "Well, that last part is true." When I blinked at her, she explained, "Everybody's perspective is unique. Nobody will see you the way Alex does because there is only one Alex." She shrugged. "And you're wrong about the first part." Looking into my eyes, she said, "Your friends all see you as Willow. I see you as Willow."

"But nobody else will. I'm just a princess to the Court, a noble's daughter, good for naught but marriage." I brushed away a sneaky tear, my voice trembling.

Alanna scowled. "Stop with the sappiness, or I'll hurt you." When the threat didn't work as she wanted it too, she sighed, suddenly looking older. She stood up, moving to place her hands on mine. "There is someone out there who will see you as Willow. You just have to be willing to look for them."

I gave a shaky laugh, lifting my handkerchief to my eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm being so delicate, and I hate that."

Alanna shrugged. "We're all delicate and strong in different ways." She paused. "As for moving on…Well, a friend of mine once told me that heartbreak was like climbing a tree."

"What?"

Alanna smiled. "When you fall, you're afraid to climb again, because you know of the pain from hitting the ground. But, I swear by Mithros and the Goddess, the view at the top is worth every bruise you get. You have to climb again. And stop moping about Alex," she added, her voice still kind. "You're right in thinking that there'll be nobody else like him, but that's only because he's unique. He was your first sweetheart. We all have our firsts. He'll always hold a special place in you heart, no matter who you find. And you'll never get a view like the first climb. You can't compare anything to it because it was your first. Every climb is different." She released my hands.

I looked up at Alanna, my head spinning somewhat from her metaphors. "Would your friend be Mistress Cooper by any chance? I've seen her for advice too."

Alanna grinned. "You're smart, and pretty. I think I like you." We laughed, my tears already a fading memory.

~oOo~

The moonlight was streaming through the window when I heard footsteps in the hall. I rose, opening the door to admit Jon and Gary, Faithful at their heels. They entered silently, finding spaces to sit. Faithful leapt into my lap, startling us all. He rarely showed such affection to any of us, except for Alanna of course.

Jon's face was pale in the moonlight. I sighed, reaching over to squeeze his hand. "Relax, she'll be fine."

Jon said nothing in reply.

I sighed again. "At least eat something. You look half-starved." I pointed at the food that I'd sent for earlier. "That goes for you too, Gary," I added to my cousin. The boy smiled gratefully, taking a roll from the tray. He began to tear off tiny bites with his fingers.

I studied the two. I had waited for them in my room, knowing they'd be back after Alanna's Sacramental Bath. Now, there was nothing to do but wait until dawn.

Noticing that Jon had brought a chess set, I attempted to distract him with a game, but he was unfocused, and I beat him rather easily. "You're no challenge," I said, trying to tease him out of his worry. Jon only smiled wanly. "I'm sorry." He did try to concentrate after that. Gary, who'd refused offered a game, was curled up on a chair watching us, occasionally throwing out one of those barbed comments he was famous for. _At least one of us is trying to cheer up,_ I thought with an inward smile.

A few hours into the night, Raoul, Myles and Alex joined us. Alex took over Jon's disastrous chess game, while Raoul passed around a wineskin.

Eventually I paused the chess game to take the alcohol. Raoul grumbled, but I ignored his request for it to be returned. Instead, I spelled both him and Gary, both now rather tipsy, asleep. In their chairs. Myles, to everyone's surprise, had refused the wineskin, and had eventually managed to sleep-I had no idea how.

Alex tilted his head at me. "They won't be very pleased with that," he remarked, nodding at the two lightly snoring boys.

I shrugged. "I've seen Raoul when he's truly drunk. It's not pretty. They'll thank me later."

Alex studied me as I sat back down at our game. I reached over, moving my queen sideways. "Check."

Alex reached over. Whether by accident or design, his fingertips brushed over the back of my hand. We both started, pulling back.

I thanked the gods that I'd decided to include Jon in the sleep spell as well-He may hate me in the morning, but he was worrying himself sick over Alanna, and I had decided to do something about it.

I carefully looked up to meet grey eyes, then gulped. Alex sighed. "Mithros, this is hard," he muttered, leaning back in his chair.

I gave him a tiny smile. "I was just thinking the same thing," I admitted.

Alex turned back to the game. Again he reached. This time he knocked one of the pawns off the board. I reacted automatically, my hand closing over the piece.

Alex's hand closed on mine.

For the second time that night, we found ourselves looking into eachother's eyes. I don't know which of us moved first, but suddenly we were kissing.

With a gasp, Alex wrenched away. I stumbled back, lifting a hand to my lips. The moonlight spilled over his face, brightening his eyes to slivery pools. Quickly Alex let go of my other hand.

"This can't-We agreed-"

"Yes," I muttered. I met his gaze. His eyes brimmed with emotion momentarily before they became impassive. "It can't happen again," I finished, looking at him.

Quickly Alex helped me pack up, the chess game obviously over. Then he shifted his chair further away from me. "Get some rest. I'll keep watch." His voice, and posture was distant.

"Alex, I'm sorry. I didn't mean-" I wasn't sure what I wanted to say.

"It's okay," replied Alex. His eyes held mine, his face softening. "I'll wake you all in the morning."

"No you won't," I muttered, my eyes already closing. "Only I can wake up those three."

I clung to Alex's chuckle as I drifted off to sleep.

~oOo~

True to his word, Alex shook me awake at dawn. As soon as my eyes opened, he drew back, not wanting to take any chances. The events of last night were still fresh in our minds.

"Maybe I should volunteer for border patrol," muttered Alex, then looked stopped, a look of surprise passing over his face. "Did I say that out loud?"

"You did," I replied, nodding. "Why?" I stood, turning to the boys. I couldn't help but smile at the picture they made-the three of them, sitting next to the fireplace, still lightly snoring.

"They look too adorable." Alex's voice issued from behind me. "I vote that we leave them there."

I sighed. "Pity we can't. Jon would kill me."

"That is truly a pity," sighed Alex. I could tell from his voice that his eyes were dancing. He crossed the room to gently wake Sir Myles.

"So, why did you want to go on border patrol?" I kept my voice nonchalant as I began to lift the spell.

Alex hesitated, then spoke. "I thought we might need some time apart…to move on."

My concentration stuttered momentarily, but I finished lifting the spell. The boys stirred on the carpet. "That is probably a good idea," I said without turning around, my voice soft.

"Is it dawn already?" Myles's voice rose behind me. I turned. The knight was blinking bleary eyes at Alex. Alex didn't reply, instead helping the knight to stand. Myles grimaced, stretching-a few hours asleep in a chair left even the best person stiff.

"Ugh, don't move so much Myles."

I snorted softly. Raoul and Gary were awake. I left the room briefly, returning with the hangover remedy that Alanna had taught me to make. Calmly I offered it to the pair of them. "Aren't you glad I stopped you two from going too far?" I asked, my voice honey-sweet.

Gary scowled at me. Raoul was too busy nursing his head. Alex approached us with two glasses of water as I made them drink my (well, actually Alanna's) foul concoction. When I was satisfied they weren't going to throw it back up, I let them take the glasses from Alex.

Jon moved behind me. "That's the last time I ever trust you, Sister Dear." For a moment I froze, but when I turned I realised from the twinkle in his eye that he was actually joking. I let out my breath in a huff and turned away again, pretending to be offended.

We set off to the Chapel, all milling nervously together. Alex and I were careful to not get too close.

Jon noticed. As we were walking, he pulled me aside. "Did something happen last night between the two of you?"

I hesitated, then let it out. "We kissed last night. It was an accident."

Jon let out his breath. "Oh."

"It's just hard to go back, to what we once had," I finally muttered.

"I don't think this was ever meant to be easy," Jon replied putting his arms around me.

"That doesn't help in the slightest Jon," I sighed, but I sank into his embrace for a moment. Finally we pulled apart.

"Jon?"

"Mmm?"

"Do you think…" I paused, unsure. "Do you think there is someone out there for me?"

Jon raised a brow. "Why?"

I sighed. "I just feel like I'm nothing more than a crown in Court. Nobody ever sees me for, well, me. Do you think there is someone out there who will see me for me?"

Jon studied me. "There's someone out there for everyone," he finally said. "Do I believe there's someone out there for you? Yes. But it was never meant to be easy to find them."

I sighed. "That was what I was afraid of," I confessed, "not being able to find them."

"Now you're being silly," replied my brother affectionately. "Nobles all over Tortall come to see you. And me too of course, but that wasn't my point. You won't have to go looking for them-they'll come to you."

"But what if they're not a noble?"

Jon raised a brow. "You're judging us all to be the same, shallow people who involve ourselves in Court games?"

At his words I blushed. Jon was right. After only a few encounters at Court, I'd refused to give anyone another chance. It was true that most of them were the same, but there were a few who were not. My friends were proof of that.

"Give them a chance, Will," said Jon, squeezing my shoulder. "You know I'm right. Now come on, otherwise we'll get left behind."

Quickly we caught up with the others, my mind swirling. I had a lot to think about.

Slowly we entered the Chapel of the Ordeal. Alanna was at the front, kneeling beside a Mithran priest. I looked around for a few minutes, then went still.

The door to the Chamber was open.

Alanna stood slowly, and walked inside. I saw a flash of her fiery locks.

Then the door clanged shut behind her.

All too quickly, memories from my own Ordeal came rushing back. Jon, sensing correctly the reason behind the stiffening of my shoulders, elbowed me gently, breaking through my terror. When I looked at him, he slung an arm over my shoulders. I leaned into him, grateful for the contact.

I don't know how long we kept vigil there. I'd begun to pray feverishly when the door silently swung open. I started forward at Alanna's appearance. My friend was drenched with sweat and tears still made their way down her face. Her hands were clenched into bruised and bloody fists.

Jon beat me there, wrapping a blanket around his former squire's shoulders. As the rest of us caught up, Alanna looked up at Jon. "I won't let it happen, Jon. I promise it won't."

Jon smiled gently. "I know it won't. Now let's get you out of here. It's over."

~oOo~

I was inside my room that day when someone knocked on the door. I rose to open it.

Jon stood there, a very odd look on his face. I let him in.

It turned out that Jon had come with someone else as well. A slender young man entered behind him. I stood there, studying him. The man was also red-haired and violet-eyed. It didn't take much to tell that he was obviously related to Alanna. I stood, matching him stare for stare in an increasing awkward silence.

"Willow," Jon finally spoke, "this is Lord Thom of Trebond, Alan's twin brother. He came to Court at Alan's request. He's a Master of the Mithran Light," added Jon, as I took in the man's black and gold robes.

It was then I heard the inflection in Jon's voice. _Interesting,_ I mused, _Jon doesn't like him. I wonder why? He gets on pretty well with Alanna._ At this I winced internally at the double meaning. I hadn't meant it like that at all!

I curtsied briefly and extended my hand, meeting his gaze. "Lord Thom, it's a pleasure to finally meet someone I've heard much about."

"Likewise, Your Highness," replied Lord Thom, bringing my hand to his lips. "I have heard much about you from Alanna." He brushed his lips across the back of my hand, then released it.

"Alanna asked Thom to come to Court to watch over us while she went away."

I nodded in acknowledgement at Jon's words. Alanna intended to tell everyone the truth after she got her shield, then leave and go on adventures while the furore died down. It was a relief to know she was still looking out for us, especially with Roger still about. I scowled internally at his name as always.

"I hear that you have training in your Gift," remarked Lord Thom as we both took seats. "May I inquire as to what sort?"

"I'm qualified as a healer," I replied evenly.

The man's head shot up. "Only as a healer?" he demanded, seeming shocked. "You have no other training?"

"It is not suitable for a lady to train as a mage," I replied, fighting to keep my voice calm. Actually, the only reason I didn't want to learn was because I disliked going anywhere near Roger. And there was also that minor problem of the Court's ideas on what a princess should and shouldn't do. I fought not to scowl.

"Humph. That's nonsense," snorted Lord Thom. His violet eyes gleamed. "A Gifted person should learn as much as possible. Knowledge is power."

_I was starting to see why Jon didn't really like this Lord Thom. He seemed like the polar opposite of Alanna._

"Well, it was an honour to meet you, but I must take my leave." The Master rose. "I have to prepare something for Alanna's ceremony later." He bowed to Jon, then me, then turned. "I hope we get to know eachother better in future." I doubted he meant that.

Then he swept out of the room.

"What a charming fellow," I muttered when he was gone.

"Really? I thought he was a bit too arrogant, if you ask me," Jon replied, surprised.

I scowled. "I was being sarcastic Jon."

"Oh." Jon was silent for a few moments, before speaking again. "You know, I wonder if Alanna would've turned out like him had she not gotten us as friends."

"Maybe," I replied reflectively. "I thought she would turn out like Delia."

Jon shuddered.

"I feel bad for him, actually," I admitted after a few minutes silence. "He doesn't have anyone, except Alanna."

Jon stared at me. "How can you feel bad for him?" he demanded, shocked. "He's such a…" He cut himself off at my glare, instead shaking his head. "You always think too kindly of people," he complained. "One day you might end up forgiving Roger." I threw my cushion at him.

~oOo~

Alanna was knighted at sunset. After she had knelt before King Roald and gave her oath of fealty, he touched Alanna's shoulders, then her head, with his sword, saying, "I dub thee Sir Alan, Knight of the Realm of Tortall. Serve honourably and well."

Alanna stood as we clapped politely. However it wasn't finished-Thom stepped forward from the crowd.

"Your Majesties," said the man, bowing, "I am Lord Thom of Trebond, and a Master of the Mithran Light. I beg leave, by right of my relationship to Sir Alan, to present him with his shield." He beckoned Coram, Alanna's friend and manservant, forward. From the look on Alanna's face I deduced that she'd not been expecting her twin's presence.

"You have the right, Lord Thom." My father's voice returned me to the events at hand. I studied Thom curiously. He was, after all, a very young Master. It wasn't just that-power radiated off the man. I tilted my head before finally turning my attention to the object in Coram's arms.

Thom unveiled the shield, showing the Trebond arms: a black tower on a red field. Coram let him take it to place on Alanna's arms. Even from here I could tell it had been layered with protecting spells, and quite powerful ones too.

_Now,_ I realised, hearing the noise around me, _was the time to truly cheer._ I joined in gladly.

* * *

**Yes. I stole the mini post-Ordeal conversation between Alanna and Jon, and moved it. Sue me. Or rather, don't you'd be wasting your time. :P**

**All hail Sir Alan! Well, Lady Knight Alanna. Whatever. :D**

**~ MagicalLeaves**


	25. Revelations

**And everything comes to a head here...  
****As always, any recognisable dialogue doesn't belong to me. I've just borrowed and mangled it to my advantage.  
I've also (as you might've noticed) borrowed the sword-fighting scene. Well, I'm not too good at writing sword-fights. But, yeah, that isn't mine either. I've just rewritten it that's all.**

**Enjoy :) **

* * *

The light everywhere sparkled off false ice statues and crystals adorning the room. It fluttered through the room, pausing over a young woman who was gliding aimlessly through it. The light spun over her deep blue gown, and brought sparkle to the matching sapphire eardrops. Ever curious, the light slid upwards, dancing over a stubborn chin and a delicate, straight-cut nose. It slid up over her bright blue eyes to her blue-black hair, hanging down her back in a simple plait, then paused at the soft silver circlet adorning her hair. Its curiosity satisfied, the light climbed onto the circlet, using it to stretch eager fingers throughout the room.

I wandered among other nobles, pausing here and there to inspect the globes that had been spelled to magically hold the light.

"You know Your Highness, if you knew magic, you would know how those worked."

I turned at the voice. A fire-haired man regal in magnificent silver-lined black robes stood there.

"Hello, Lord Thom," I said politely.

"Your Highness," replied the man, giving me a bow. I inclined my head.

"Perhaps I don't want to learn how they work, but am simply admiring the beauty of it all," I returned.

The man shrugged. "As you will. Enjoy the feast." He bowed again, and left, finally letting me breathe. _He was a bit annoying really._

I turned back to the globe, smoothing my hands over my deep blue gown as I tried to relocate the calm I got from the crystal globe. I was unsuccessful-The Lord of Trebond's hair popped up when I looked at the globe, though that might have just been because I could see it in the reflection. Nevertheless I scowled.

"I must say, cousin, you look very beautiful tonight."

I looked up and blushed. "Really?"

Gary blinked, diverted from his teasing. "Who are you? The Willow I know would get offended."

"The Willow you knew grew up," I replied. "Maybe she decided that she likes feeling pretty."

Gary raised a brow. "Feeling pretty for anyone in particular?" he teased.

"Yes," I shot back, "myself. Now stop it."

Gary chuckled, but dropped the subject, moving to take his seat. I sighed, dropping very neatly into my own chair. To my displeasure-though I tried not to show it-Roger sat next to me. "Good evening, cousin," he greeted me. "You look very nice tonight."

While Gary had only been teasing me, to hear the subject being brought up again suddenly annoyed me. I looked down at my plate, knowing that Roger wouldn't think anything of my behaviour-I always acted very distant to him. "Your Grace is too kind," I murmured, fighting my annoyance. "You also look splendid."

"You mean to say that style runs in the family, cousin," replied Roger. I heard the lightness in his voice, and silently ground my teeth. _Why, after all this time, was he still trying to charm me?_ It was only then I realised that I wasn't just uncomfortable around him-I actually disliked him, maybe even hated him. I was so glad that I was looking at my plate.

Jon sat down on the other side of me. "I never thought you to be vain, Willow," he teased.

"I never thought you to be an idiot," I muttered so only he could hear, "but then I'm not right all the time."

Jon laughed quietly. "Check and mate," he said ruefully.

I heard a rustle of silk as Father sat down. For once, Mother also joined him, having insisted on making a rare public appearance. She smiled at me when I looked at her. I smiled back.

Roger suddenly reminded me of his presence when he began to chat with Jon. I sat in the middle, irritated. It was, obviously, rude of both men to speak over someone in the middle. _What, was I not interesting or something? Ugh. Why didn't I wait until Roger sat down, so I could avoid him?_ To make matters worse, Lord Thom came over to sit on the other side of Roger, engaging the older man in conversation about various magics and the like. _At least Roger and Jon weren't talking over me any longer. I hated being in the middle like that-it was like I wasn't there._

To my relief, before my mood could sink any further, the food began arriving.

I returned my gaze to Mother when she started coughing softly, then harder. Instantly Duke Baird was at her side. My stomach clenched-I'd noticed her gradually going pale as time wore on, and I noticed now that her forehead was beaded with sweat. I hadn't realised I was rising until Jon gripped my elbow. Gently he tugged me back down, as Father looked at me and shook his head ever so slightly. I sank back into my chair, clenching my fists under the table. _What was the purpose of my training if I couldn't even use it, and on my own mother?_ I felt like screaming with frustration.

"Willow." The voice caught my attention. Jon nudged me lightly. "Pass me the chicken, and tell me about your day."

I felt some of the tension slide away from me. Jon was always on the look out-He himself had discovered that, though slow to anger, I had a fearsome temper. He was watching me for warning signs. I felt a burst of relief, and handed over the plate. He squeezed my hand lightly as I passed over the dish, and I smiled gratefully at him.

When the feast had wound down, Jon and I excused ourselves, heading over to speak with our friends. I was in a lively debate with Myles and Jon when Alanna interrupted to request us to join her at the king's table. Until then, I hadn't even noticed that she'd left and then returned to the feast-I had been that engrossed in the discussion. Thom, having noticed where his twin was headed, excused himself from Gary and Raoul and joined her. Together the pair walked up to the table and the two thrones, us joining them on the way. Alanna bowed low to my parents. Only when the four of us had come to a halt behind her did she begin to speak.

"Majesty, I have done a dishonourable thing." The room hushed as her clear voice rang through it. "I broke into a man's chambers tonight. I knew this was dishonourable, and I did it anyway. What _I_ did was wrong. What I thought to find-what I _did_ find- was far worse."

I heard Jon suck in a breath, and Mother cry out in shock. Looking at the objects on the table, I heard myself gasp.

Miniature figurines of wax, lying on a silvery silk veil. Several of them, all bearing resemblance to someone in this very room. Father, Uncle Gareth, the Lord Provost, Myles. I went pale as I continued to stare. Jon and me. But what was worst was the image of my Mother. The colours and the wax itself were worn away, almost faded. At last I understood why she'd never been getting better. I turned away, burying my face in Jon's shoulder. He put an arm around me, trembling with anger.

"Shall I tell them where I found these, Your Grace?" Alanna demanded of Roger. "Shall I tell them about the little fountain in your private workroom where the queen's image lay under running water, wasting away little by little?" At this I put my hands over my ears with a whimper. I knew it was childish, but I didn't care, even if I could still hear every word. Alanna continued. "Shall I-"

"Liar!" my cousin interrupted with rage. "Majesty, _Sir_ Alan has long been jealous of my influence with you and my cousins Jonathan and Willow. He now seeks to dishonour me in your eyes by showing you these dolls _he_ created and accusing me of casting such spells!"

At his slander I began to cry. _How _dare_ he accuse Alanna of such work? How _dare_ he do such things? And when had he ever had influence with me? _ Jon hugged me to him harder, shushing me. _He should put an emphasis on 'Alan' as well,_ commented an insane part of my mind. I shoved it away, trembling with fury born of horror and disbelief.

"For what reason?" Alanna asked my father, her voice softer now. "Why would I wish the queen harm? She is the mother of my prince and princess and my friend. She has been kind to me. I do not gain from harming her, just as I do not gain from veiling the sight of those who could stop me from stealing a throne that isn't mine!"

"Liar!" Roger leapt to his feet to point at her. She didn't flinch. "Do you deny that you have the skill to place such a spell? Do you deny you have the knowledge, when I taught image-magic to you myself? You planned to kill Their Majesties, so that when Jonathan became king, _you_ would be the most powerful knight in the realm."

"That is very interesting," Myles remarked, looking at Roger with stony eyes. "Carry that thinking a few steps further, and suppose the deaths of Prince Jonathan and Princess Willow. Who would gain? I submit, Roger, that _you_ would gain as the next King of Tortall."

"It's a plot against me! Myles tries to turn you all against me while this young man gives false evidence!" my once charming cousin cried, turning to look for aid. It was then I heard another sound-my mother, like I, was crying softly out of shock and disbelief. The sound and what it meant caused the tears to come again in a fresh flood. Jon hushed me like I was still a child, and I clung to him harder, burrowing my face into his shoulders. As I cried I heard Roger's voice again. "I demand my rights. I demand trial by combat, myself against my accuser. If I lie, Sir Alan will win by the will of the gods. But I say _I_ will win, because I am innocent!"

_You lie!_ Cried a part of me that wasn't weeping. _You lie! Alanna would never do anything to any of us!_ Bolstered by that knowledge, I finally slowed my tears and looked up at the table. My father reached over to delicately pick up the figurine modelled on his image. "You may have the combat," he replied quietly, inspecting the wax doll.

"As the accused, I may choose the time." Roger said quickly. "Let it be now, before Sir Alan's lies spread and poison people's minds against me."

_Too late for that. Nobody will ever trust you again._

Alanna inspected her bandaged hands. "This time or any other is of no matter to me," she replied in a bored voice. "I believe Duke Roger to be plotting against the lives of my prince and my friends. The sooner this is resolved, the sooner they will be safe."

Roald nodded and stood. "In one hour we meet in the Great Throne Room."

~oOo~

By the time we had gone to her room to help her prepare, I'd dried my tears and calmed down. Myles, Coram, and Thom were with us as we entered her room.

"I suppose you had your reasons for acting as you did," remarked Myles quietly. "I'd like to know what they were."

Alanna shook her head. She was cleaning her sword, Lightning. I remembered the first time I'd seen that blade. "It's as if I just broke free of a spell he had us all under. A lot of things began to add up: why the fog came up that night I was taken _after_ he visited me, why the big Tusaine attack was chiefly aimed at Jonathan's forces, why the queen never got better. Thom, you must've thought I was crazy, never following up on the warnings you and George gave me."

Her twin brother shrugged. "I always figured you had your reasons." When we all looked at him, the man explained, "I've been watched by Duke Roger's men for several years, ever since you, Highness, and Alan took the Black City. And George has waylaid Roger's men following Alan a number of times."

Alanna handed her sword over to Coram and started to stretch while Coram continued the cleaning of it. Jon looked at Alanna as she reached for her toes. "But you had suspicions," he exclaimed. "Even if they were vague ones, why didn't you talk to me?"

"I _did_ say something, at the Black City. You said it was nonsense," Alanna replied frankly. Jon winced as he remembered. Alanna held her position as she continued. "So I wanted to have real proof before I mentioned it again. And every time I made up my mind to _do_ something about it, I-I lost interest. I know why now-because he had me in the wraps with you and Myles and the others-but I still feel ashamed that it happened. Don't you?"

Jon opened his mouth, but was interrupted by a knock on the door. Coram opened it and a heavily cloaked George entered.

Jon, Myles, and I were shocked at his presence. _The Rogue, coming to the palace?_ "Stefan has messenger-birds," Alanna informed us. "I'm glad you came," she said to George, shooting a tiny smile in his direction before resuming her stretching.

"Do nothing foolish," replied George, ruffling her fiery hair.

"I think Alan's used up his foolishness for the day," her brother replied in an acerbic tone.

At the words, Alanna looked up. "The masquerade is over," she said, impatient. "Myles, all these men, and Willow, know, you should, too. I'm a girl."

"But I _do_ know," replied the man quietly. "Thank you for telling me at last, but I've known for years."

My mouth, which had dropped at Alanna's straight-out admission, dropped even further. I thought it would hit the floor. _Myles had known? How?_

At another knock Coram opened the door to reveal Timon. "I've been sent to bring you to the Great Throne Room," said my uncle's manservant unhappily. "Squire-Sir Alan, is it true? About His Grace?"

Alanna pulled on her boots, then stood, looking Timon in the eye. "Yes. It's true."

"Alan and I will be with you in a moment," said Jon quietly. Until then I'd been leaning on Jon, still a bit dazed from the shock of it all. Quickly I stood up properly, and led the others out. We waited outside, me fidgeting.

"Are you alright?" Myles asked me gently. He knew I'd been hit hard by this recent revelation.

"I don't know," I replied helplessly. "I suspected Roger was up to something-but I never saw this."

"Nobody did," replied the man, placing an arm on my shoulder. I smiled at him wanly, feeling a _little_ bit better.

The door opened and Alanna and Jon came out. We said nothing as we walked Alanna down the hall towards her destiny.

~oOo~

In the Great Throne Room, Roger stood before the two thrones, his sword in his hand. Alanna hugged us all one last time, then stepped up beside Roger, Lightning gripped in her fist. The rest of us moved towards my parents as the herald read the challenge.

At last, my father said, "Let the combat begin."

Both swords flew up instantly. The pair circled eachother, Roger feinting several times, but Alanna didn't fall for it. Instead, she watched, her eyes darting over her opponent as she searched for the next move.

At last Roger attacked properly. Alanna parried the strike and sidestepped his next blow. Roger moved to follow her, continuing his assault. I watched as Alanna dodged and weaved around his blade, and realised she was trying to conserve energy. I bit my lip as blood began to seep through the bandages on her hand.

"Foul!" Thom yelled suddenly, as Alanna dodged again, uncertainty showing in her eyes. "He's using an illusion!"

My mouth dropped at the dishonesty. _And Roger wanted us to believe him innocent?_ Even so, I felt a grim triumph as I realised that he was trying to cheat his way through trial by combat. _If he won like this, nobody would trust him again. Ever._

Alanna reached for the necklace, gripping the odd stone in her hand. I don't know what it did, but it seemed to work. She managed to ignore the illusion, blocking and dodging only my cousin's true blade. She blocked Roger's thrust and thrust back, coming body-to-body with him. Even I could see this was a mistake as soon as she moved-the larger man used his size and strength to push her down slowly.

Swiftly my friend rectified her mistake, breaking away and rolling. Roger struck, his blade slicing into her shoulder. I could see Alanna bite her lips to stop gasping in pain. Moving, she took advantage of a moment I couldn't see to leap in, slicing through Roger's right arm. The Duke yelled in fury, and lunged back. Alanna was too slow to recover-his sword sliced through her shirt from collarbone to waist.

It must've sliced through whatever had bound her breasts too. Both binding and breasts showed through the new gap in her shirt.

Roger dropped his sword in shock. The crowd erupted.

"Halt!" yelled my father, getting off his chair. "_What is going on here?_"

Thom recovered first. "You'd better do something about that thing," he said to his sister as he stepped forward. "I'll explain."

"You'll have to excuse my sister, Majesties," said Thom as Alanna ducked behind a curtain. "You see, she wanted to be a knight. I wanted to be a sorcerer. We traded places. I think I may have had the better part of the bargain; I didn't have to lie to people I liked and respected all these years. Here." He proffered some papers. "I brought our birth papers. Her name is Alanna. We're twins."

"Who knew of this? _Who knew?_"" I shuddered-my father was most dangerous when he was quiet. Alanna stepped out from behind the curtain, having removed her ruined bindings and tucked her shirt into her breeches.

"I knew." I started at my brother's clear voice as he said, "I've known since the Black City."

I swallowed. "I knew," I said, my voice quieter, but no less firm and clear.

"I knew," Coram admitted, shame in his face.

"I knew," Gary said, stepping forward to face down his uncle and aunt.

"And I knew," Myles finished. "I guessed when Alan-Alanna-cured Jonathan of the Sweating Sickness, Majesty."

_Well, at least that explained how he'd figured it out. I'd forgotten all about that-Alanna taking power from the fire and calling to Jon in a voice, a woman's voice._

My father's gaze took us all in. At last he looked back at our friend. "What have you to say for yourself?"

My friend met his gaze, standing straight. She seemed suddenly tall, though she was the shortest in the room. "I hated lying to you." Like us, her voice was clear and rang throughout the room. "I wanted to tell; but I couldn't. Would you have let me win my shield if I had told the truth?" She waited for Father to reply, then ploughed on when it was clear he could and would not answer. "I've tried to be honest about everything else. And I can't regret what I did."

My father studied her for a long time. There was a long silence, broken only by the rustles and whispers of other nobles in attendance.

"You _demon!_" Roger screamed suddenly. "You lying, cheating-"

My once charming cousin leapt at Alanna, sword flashing. Alanna blacked and dodged as his sword flashed again and again.

As I watched, time seemed to slow. It was how I could pinpoint exactly when her emotions transformed from fighting for her life, to rage. It was in the set of her jaw, the way she held her sword, the sudden spark in her eyes. The spark caught alight, burning through her until she seemed to be on fire.

Alanna leapt forward, bringing Lightning around in a loop. A lock of my cousin's hair fluttered to the ground. Alanna swapped Lightning to her left hand, performing another loop, cutting through his belt this time. The next strike slashed open his tunic. I watched, grimly triumphant, as Roger retreated desperately towards us.

When he got closer, a large orange cloud suddenly erupted around his body, reaching for Alanna as well as Jon, Father, Mother, and I. Other nobles gasped and got out of the way. I heard my own cry. Jon moved to stand in front of me, sweeping me behind him. "Jon! No!" I gasped.

"The Goddess!" Alanna's cry soared through the air. I saw the girl leap forward, recklessly charging the cloud. The whole thing flared. I heard cries join my own as I clapped my hands to my eyes, shielding them from the blinding glare. Roger screamed. The light flared brighter through the gaps between my fingers, telling me that Alanna had struck again.

Slowly the light faded, and I lifted my hands, almost afraid of what I would see.

Alanna jerked Lightning free of my cousin's body. She paused, swaying, obviously exhausted, as we stared at her with a horrified silence.

Roger was dead. Alanna had killed him.

* * *

**GASP. OMG. SIR ALAN IS A GIRL!**

**Anyway. We are now drawing to a close.**

**Hope you've enjoyed this chapter. :)**

**~ MagicalLeaves**


	26. In which Willow ties up a Loose End

**Willow discusses secrets. Or, a secret.**

**I don't know what else to put here :P**

**Anyway. Enjoy.**

* * *

I stood in the hallway, fighting my indecision. The door loomed before me. As I stared, I was certain I could see every line and panel that made up the portal in front of me. Steeling myself, I extended my fist towards the wood.

I dropped my hand.

"Shit." I muttered a few other choice words that I'd learned from Jon, than raised my hand again.

Drop. "Maiden's tears."

Raise. Drop. Raise. Drop. Raise. Drop

"Willow? What are you doing?"

I whirled. Jon watched me. "Are you alright?" he asked.

"Yes. No." I sighed. "No."

Jon walked up to me. He looked between me and the door, then sighed. Reaching past me, he knocked. "Better?"

I shut my eyes, steeling myself, then nodded, smiling at my brother. He knew me too well. "Yes. Thanks Jon."

At the sound of footsteps, my smile vanished. Quickly I turned to face the door as it opened.

The dark-haired youth eyed me. "Can I help you?"

Jon, seeing I was struck dumb, sighed. "She wanted to talk to you," he said, then turned away, walking down the hallway.

The other boy watched me for a moment, then stood aside to let me in.

Once we were both inside, Alex turned to me. "What do you want?"

I swallowed, meeting his eyes. "I wanted to apologise…for-"  
"Lying? Deceiving me?" Alex threw himself into a chair. "Not telling me about Alanna?" He glared up at me.

"I'm sorry." Even as I said it I knew it wasn't enough. It would never be enough. Not for us. Suddenly I was glad that we were just friends.

"Why didn't you say anything?" demanded Alex.

I sank into a chair, taking deep breaths as I fought for words. "You're an honourable person, Alex. Can you look at me and say, truly, that you would not have revealed Alanna's secret if I'd told you?"

Alex blinked, then sighed. "No. You're right. Mithros's shield." He rubbed his head. "It's just that, we were supposed to be friends. And you did this."

"I'm sorry that I hid this from you, Alex." I laughed bitterly. "These things always happen to us, don't they?"

Alex snorted. "Yeah." He tilted his head at me. "How long have you known?" He had calmed down somewhat.

I bit my lip before answering. "Since you all returned from the Black City." When Alex remained silent, I scrambled to explain. "I was scrying…in my crystal. I saw her…by accident. When you all returned, I confronted her and Jon." I sighed. "Maybe I should've just left it alone. I didn't realise that I would have to hide this from you, or anyone else. I never wanted this to happen. I never wanted to hurt anyone. I didn't really think it over. Now that I look back, I wish I hadn't confronted them."

"The only things you think over are chess games," replied Alex. I scowled at him as the boy grinned crookedly. "It's alright. I guess."

I relaxed. "Really?"

Alex nodded.

"That's not the only thing I wanted to speak about though."

I tilted my head at Alex's words. "Oh?"

The boy met my gaze, his expression impassive. "I'm going on another border patrol. I'll be leaving in two days."

"Oh." My voice was soft.

"I'll be gone for a month or so." Alex struggled for a moment. "I just need some space…to think about everything."

I raised a hand. "Stop." Alex fell silent, confusion sweeping over his face. "Alex…I understand. Thank you for telling me. I…need the space too."

Alex let his breath out in a rush of air. He stood, turning to look out the window. "Okay. Okay."

He swept a hand through his hair.

Slowly I rose. "I hope you find what you're looking for."

Alex turned away from the window. He seemed to be fighting with himself. Finally, he crossed the room in swift strides and gave me a hug. I started, then relaxed in his arms, putting my own around him. "I hope so too," he replied, his voice rough. Quickly, he let go, stepping back. "I have to…go…pack," he finally muttered, meeting my gaze.

I nodded and smiled at my friend. "Okay Alex. Bye."

"Bye." His voice followed me out the door.

* * *

**Well. Hopefully that worked out. This is probably not my best worked. It seems rushed. But the important thing is that their friendship has survived intact. It must have the lives of a cat.**

** Anyway, hope you like it.**

**~MagicalLeaves**


	27. Not Goodbye

**Last chapter folks! Yes, I was so happy at finishing exams tht I actually finished the story for you! WOOHOO! :D**

**Thanks to everyone who has stuck with me so far! :D**

**~ MagicalLeaves**

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_One down, one to go._ As I walked down the hall, I was sure that this goodbye would be easier than the last.

I'd just reached the door and had raised my hand when it swung open in front of me. Alanna smiled and let me in. "Faithful said you were coming," she explained.

I rolled my eyes. "I swear that your cat does that because he knows it annoys me," I complained. Alanna grinned in reply.

_I heard that,_ Faithful meowed.

"I wanted you to," I retorted, hearing the cat purr in laughter.

Once we'd both sat down, Faithful padded over to leap into my lap. I looked down, startled. "I'll miss you too, Faithful. You were a good pair of eyes," I said finally, daring to stroke the cat's fur. Faithful purred for a moment, then relaxed. "I probably shouldn't tell you this-I mean you've been doing it for years now-but keep an eye on Alanna, okay? I would like her to come back in one piece."

Alanna scowled, but Faithful only purred louder before jumping off my lap. I took that as a yes.

"When will you be back?" I asked, looking at my friend.

"When I've sorted everything out," she replied. "I've got everything packed already. I leave tomorrow."

I sighed sadly. "And then it will just be me again."

"Don't be silly," replied Alanna with a smile. "I'm the only one leaving-everyone else will still be here."

"'Everyone else' are all boys," I pointed out.

Alanna snorted. "Now that's just stupidity. I happen to know that you have access to the Lower City, and one Mistress Eleni Cooper. I also happen to know that mothers make great friends, especially yours."

I sighed again. "Well, you'd better come back. We'll all miss you." Alanna rose as I did, and we embraced fiercely. "Goodbye Lady Knight. Go on lots of adventures for me."

Alanna pulled back. "Bye Willow. Kiss lots of boys for me," she returned. We both laughed.

Faithful moved again, twining himself around my legs. I knelt to look into his violet eyes. "I mean it, Faithful. You'd better watched out for her, or I'll be very disappointed in you."

_We wouldn't want that,_ replied the cat. I smiled. The cat rubbed himself against my fingers. _Befriend the friendless, Willow._

I tilted my head at Alanna' companion. Judging by her face, Alanna hadn't heard what her friend had said. _Befriend the friendless, Princess,_ Faithful repeated. _We will see you again._

I nodded, then rose. Alanna and Faithful walked out of their former room.

"Goodbye," I whispered to the empty air.

_Don't be stupid._ Words drifted back to me on the breeze. _It's not goodbye. We'll be back._

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**And it's over! :D**

**Thank you, to everyone, who has read/reviewed/laughed/cried/enjoyed this. I've really enjoyed writing this. Stay tuned-Next story coming soon! :D**

**~MagicalLeaves**


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